Self Develop on the Level Up

By amanda Illery

"SelfDevelop on the Level Up" by Amanda Illery is a practical guide for self-improvement, blending personal and business growth strategies. As a successful entrepreneur and mother, Amanda shares engaging insights and provides tools like worksheets and questions to help readers apply the lessons directly to their lives. Covering gratitude, goal-setting, overcoming fears, and fostering a growth mindset, the book's 35 chapters are tailored for actionable change.

• Language: English
• Publisher: amanda Illery
• Release date: Jan 27, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224712861

Book preview

Chapter 1: Background

How it started.

Everyone's path in life is unique. Some say that understanding this can hit you out of nowhere or arrive just when you're looking for it. There's no way to force these moments - they happen when we are ready to face where we are in life. It's on us to accept what's going on in our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits.

I discovered this back in late 2015. I had a great job at an after-school program, but I felt like I could do more. I just didn't know what that looked like or how to get there. Then, my sister, who is also my best friend, gave me a prayer journal. Starting that day, I began writing down my prayers, which really helped me on my journey.

I’m not going to lie; I was one of those people who didn’t see their prayers answered and thus found it pointless. However, writing down my prayers made a huge difference. I was able to focus, my thoughts didn’t drift off, and at times, I would write six pages. Honestly, doing this made me realize that the requests in my prayers were off. I didn’t get things the way I imagined them to be. I didn’t even think I was getting anything until I took the time to go back and read what I asked for. Then I saw I had already received the things I had asked for, just not exactly how I asked for them or the way I imagined them to be.

Nevertheless, my prayers were answered. That one gift led to a full-blown chain reaction, and I started to write my prayers more and more as I realized they were coming true.

One day, I went online and bought a prayer charm bracelet. It came with a free bonus guide on praying. It should have been titled How to believe in your words. After reading and trying it, I shifted my automatic prayers to meaningful ones.

Automatic prayers are prayers we say daily, often without any aforethought or feelings poured into them. The same thing is recited over and over again—prayers we merely say with our words but not our hearts. We learn automatic prayers online, in churches, with our families, and more. Sometimes, we don’t even understand these prayers. We merely blabber the words we have learned in our places of worship or homes. This one practice is what we need to get rid of. We need to unlearn this practiced method of praying if we wish to gain full knowledge and understanding of the total power within.

In the book, there is a passage that says you need to understand that all requests are answered, even the ones you say you don't want. So be mindful. I realized that thought changes feelings and drives action, reaction, and inaction. Our thoughts might not seem overly powerful entities. They are not tangible or material and thus are never considered to influence what we do or can do.

I started thinking and talking differently. I realized that my actions are more influenced by what I think than I previously believed. That got me more interested in exploring and experimenting with this new idea.

From then, I began meditating and studying theology. During that time, I became aware of whom I was speaking to in my prayers and what I said in my request. I can say my praying became more conscious, alert, connected, and coherent compared to the mindless blabbering I used to do.

I bought a mindfulness meditation book, and my sister (who's actually my best friend) is my biggest supporter. No matter what I'm doing, she joins in. (Writing this passage, I had to stop and thank her for being in my life). Avonelle, thank you for being in my life. I guess sisters are one of many God’s gifts that keep on giving, even when we do not have the same parents.

The book is called Practicing Mindfulness by Mathew Sockolov. The book is to help people get over addictions. I was drawn to it, even though I had no addiction. Each page made me aware of smaller things, like feeling the clothes on my skin, to bigger things, like a sunny day. It made me more aware of how oblivious we are to the most fascinating things around us. Simultaneously, the book made me realize that we are always wanting and craving magnificent and awe-inspiring things while the real magnificent is right in front of us the whole time. The sun, the moon, and the day and night we experience daily are just a few examples.

The book opened my eyes to the world and swallowed me in its brilliant wisdom with each page. I even went to an addiction meet-up group. Did I mention that I never had any addictions? The book turned out to be a comprehensive learning experience that fueled my drive to change my life holistically. It taught me many great things, like the tactics of speaking out in public, being truthful with yourself and others, and, one most significant thing, learning to accept what you cannot control and changing what you can.

How it really started....

In the earlier months of 2015, I gave birth to my second son. My dad had died three days before. The father of my children and I separated because of domestic violence. It was both mental and physical abuse. However, I cannot comment on which one was more severe, the physical torment or the mental toll I had to bear. Having nothing else, I moved back in with my mom, who mentally didn't make it any better. Not saying my mom is a bad person, but parents, predominantly Caribbean parents (non-American), tend to treat their daughters like their husbands. They want too much. They expect too much, and when we fail to deliver on what they expect, we are judged and made guilty. My friends and I often share stories all the time about our mothers. Mostly in good jest, but there is always something bleak and sad that gets discussed in those little discussions.

Now, don't get it twisted; my mother and my relationship is good. The point that we are making here is that I was going through a lot, and as for family, well, sometimes they badger you, thinking it helps when it doesn't.

I had no job, but at least I was on public assistance. I will admit some people don't understand. The system is there to help, not to be your primary source of anything, but that's another story.

One day, my mom told me about a guy she met who was running an after-school program and asked me to try it. I was already in a crunch and had to take whatever opportunity to get some sense of life on track. So, I went and was hired as a life coach specialist in arts for a charter school in Brooklyn.

The opportunity and some traction that was encouraging, and life started to take some form again. The next thing I knew, I was working two jobs and going to school. My boys were two years old and six months old at the time, and my progress was real. This little progress got me thinking again. I started to question the perspective I had about life at the moment. Something inside me hinted at the fact that there is more to me and life than I appreciate. That little something nudged me to consider the reality that there are unexplored depths of life that I haven’t even dipped my feet into. That was good enough to make me sit and start pondering on life with new perspectives and new ambitions.

Introduction

From then on, I started meditating more. And it started paying off instantly. I started to feel livened up and alive. More ready to jump into action than ever. Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t become a belligerent woman who would throw a fist at anyone not agreeing with me. It was just that the perspective freshened up in an entirely new way.

Problems started to appear as challenges. What would impose upon me and vex me now started to seem like a riddle I was more eager to solve than avoid. I wasn't the only one who noticed the people around me started to see the improvement as well. Everyone noticed a change in my demeanor, and they loved it. They saw me taking life more rationally and not letting my emotions get the better of me. That and the feeling of getting a handle on life were all the encouragement and reasoning I wanted to continue. Doing what I was doing, which was simply to rethink life and just change my perspective into a positive one.

In time, I became more mature. I pushed myself to explore this avenue more and more. I read various books, sat through podcasts, and practiced lots of methods. Everything I could do, I did. Many of you might consider this obsession. To that, I might say two things. One: No, it is not an obsession. It is a result-oriented effort with proven progress. And two: Even if it is an obsession, it is a healthy one. It was making me a better version of myself, and if you ask me, I will take this trade any day of my life. Who wouldn’t want to become better than they were yesterday? No one.

If one would ask me what the one thing that stimulated this lasting change was, I would say I realized it all began with changing how I think. I started to think more positively, and I started to think like that more often than I did. I’d like you to know that it didn’t occur to me instantly and immediately. I took my time and slowly segued into this new life. It was often a battle with my older self, but the newer one was always the stronger one.

Things like this don’t work magically, but they sure do offer results and progress that is nothing less than a miracle. My newfound positive and optimistic approach toward life started to bear fruit, and I started to build new healthy habits. These were habits that I couldn’t have imagined building had I stuck to my older ways. Soon, life started to seem more in control, and my problems straightened more readily than they previously used to. I was more alert and conscious and started to enjoy life more and more.

Building one new habit can be a challenge on its own, and I was experimenting with one after the other. All because I had started to think more positively and rationally.

Life can be unpredictable, but it's also a teacher. Wishes do come true, but often not as we expect. Two big lessons I've learned: one, trying something can lead to success or failure, but either way, we grow. Two, our life's journey is special and unique. It's filled with learning and blessings that are just right for us. So, let's roll with the unexpected, trust in our journey, and remember: we often get what we need, even if it's not what we imagined.

Now, before you dismiss me and slam this book shut, I will declare something that is as true as the other things I have said so far in this book. I will admit I still cannot keep up with most of my new habits, but my attitude and thought process have been altered and made a huge difference. But I can assure you that what I suggest and advise in this book is still a worthy trade. My daily routine isn't fulfilled every day, but hey, routines eventually get boring anyway, don’t they?

The methods I share in this book changed my life in ways I never realized they could. It also gave me a beautiful outlook on life. Being aware that everything is not for everybody, this book may help you on your journey in ways you might not expect. I cannot assure you that things will definitely turn around, nor do I promise you any miracles. Changing your life is your job and your job alone. No one else will or can make you do anything until you want things to change on your own. I, however, can be your guide and share my practiced wisdom with you, hoping that you will do what this book envelopes for yourself or the people you love.

In this book, I've done everything I can to be a useful guide in your journey to turn a new leaf in your life and ace your life goals. I have offered my own experience and done my research to make sure that this book can be a comprehensive one.

To help you practice, I have placed a how to in each chapter so you can implement each lesson on the spot.

Let's begin...

Chapter 2: Gratitude Challenge

Gratitude, according to many people, like philosophers, poets, and thinkers, is a wholesome and graceful attribute. And I am in complete agreement with them. Because Gratitude has a potent after-effect. It vaporizes doubts and insecurities and makes you more composed and collected in what you have. It instills a lasting fulfillment that makes you more real and aware of who and what you truly are. One thing that we all are a culprit of is thanklessness. We don’t count our blessings and rewards and always chase things that are far away.

I am not implying that one shouldn’t be ambitious. I'm saying that we are often dabbling with a fine line when dealing with ambition. We often cross that line and entrap ourselves in vicious cycles of trying and failing, which instill in us tormenting insecurities and lasting fears.

We should be grateful daily. Honestly, it’s best to be in this state throughout the day. Why? You might ask. Well, for the sake of learning. It is only when you are