Mindful Wellness: Being Happy

By Carolyn Farrugia

Falling ill to depression has given me firsthand experience into the world of mental illness. My first book, Mindful Wellness: The Happiest Place in the World came about through my work with people diagnosed with a mental illness. There was some missing link in their development. The research I discovered unveiled a length of time between onset of illness, diagnosis, treatment, and finally, management or maintenance. The missing links were obvious to some but not so to others, who waited years for a correct diagnosis and then more years to come for the correct treatment and waiting for the side effects of medication to lessen. I started writing this next chapter of Mindful Wellness and got the name for this new book from my son Corey, who suggested I call it Being Happy. This book became my main focus for treatment along with medication and a balanced lifestyle. I asked myself, had I been ill with this for some time, was I not receiving the correct treatment? Luckily for me, I wasnt missing too many links in my development. However, this illness did knock me for six. When you become almost demonised with such an alienating, fearful illness, you see no way out. All that you have learnt has disappeared, and you struggle to get back to a reality that used to work for you. I am hoping that this book, Mindful Wellness: Being Happy, rewards you as much as the journey has rewarded me. I take my hat off to all who suffer and pray that one day you will be healed from yourself and live a life of mindful wellness, being happy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jan 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514444702

Carolyn Farrugia

Initially employed in administration for twenty-eight years, I decided to change careers after having surgery on my bowel. I figured life is too short and I’m not finished doing what I want to do. After further studies in social science, I gained part-time employment with TAFE NSW as a mentor/counsellor/teacher for psychiatric disability students; began researching material for my business, Mindful Wellness Pty Ltd, in 2011; and ran a couple of successful groups before deciding turn this into a book. I am also a facilitator and educator for the Traffic Offenders Intervention Program on the risks of driving under the influence. I have undergone the training and experience as a volunteer presenter for the Black Dog Institute, raising awareness on mental illness and working on call as a group therapist for a mental-health private clinic in the Western Suburbs. Finally, I landed my full-time, permanent dream job in Uniting Care Mental Health in Western Sydney as a trainer/facilitator for Mental Health Programs. I feel extremely grateful for all my life’s opportunities, and I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I have enjoyed putting it together.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Carolyn Farrugia.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5144-4471-9

               eBook         978-1-5144-4470-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 01/14/2016

Xlibris

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

728670

Contents

Chapter One Dealing with Anger & Anxiety

Chapter Two Depression

Chapter Three Distorted Thinking Styles

Chapter Four Boundaries

Chapter Five Forgiveness

Chapter Six Managing Emotions & Dealing with Conflict

Chapter Seven Self-Esteem

Chapter Eight Happiness

Chapter Nine Skill Reminders

Chapter Ten Self-Care

References & Recommended Readings

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

- William Shakespeare

It was the 1st July, a Tuesday and I followed my routine of the last 6 months down to a micro second. Dragging myself out of the house to catch the 804 bus to arrive at my destination 50 minutes later, even more tired and drained than I was when I embarked. I made my way through the homeless and drug affected community, noticing as always their hands out for love and kindness. In an attempt to make this process of travelling to work a little more positive, I had decided to conduct an exercise to see if any good karma would come my way. Once a week I placed a $5 note in a sticky post-it note with an affirmation and placed it discretely where the phone card is placed in a public phone booth. This was my random act of kindness to feel better within myself. I would do this anonymously and without looking back to see who the receiver of my good deed was. It did feel good but this feeling did not last. As each week passed, I noticed a crowd of people hanging around the phone boxes.

I felt sadly disappointed with myself that I had stirred some expectation among the community. I didn’t give up at that time; I discovered there were hundreds of parking meters, so I randomly left my $5 affirmations in those.

I was pretty good at my job, helping others was my forte and my strengths lay in my abilities to build rapport quickly with dignity and honesty. My clients in return were like friends, who found me peaceful to be around, as well as someone who was like their equal with a whole lot more knowledge. This would eventually see me the victim of bullying by my peers. You see, I didn’t need a text book to be human; I just needed to be myself which would inevitably upset the roost of colleagues who had studied so hard for so many years to get it right. This day I had had enough. Sick of the cold shoulders and only being spoken to when it was work related, I got up and I walked out. Mind you not very bravely, I was choked in my tears and sobbed uncontrollably all the way back to the bus stop, headed for home, to escape to my bed and never get out of it.

I couldn’t think of anything in my life at that moment that I wanted to do, that I enjoyed doing and that I would look forward to. Nothing, the head was fractured, the heart was broken. There was truly, in my mind no reason what-so-ever to be alive. If I can’t work, if I can’t deliver kindness to people while being myself, then I had nothing. My life was a lie, my family would be better off without me as would my handful of friends. Without a job or direction there was no point in even going home, I had nothing.

Within hours, I was at my doctors, crying and sobbing that my life was over, explaining how no-one loved me and being alive was useless and pointless. She immediately rang my husband to collect me and take me to emergency. There I was interviewed again and again by professionals in mental health. Sick and tired of going over my story of being unloved it soon became so consuming that I was even accusing my family of not loving me and my whole life being one big joke. There, began my first-hand experience with the mental health establishment from a patient’s point of view. I was about to be rescued from myself after what felt like a life time of feeling unloved and unworthy of love. I apologised to my family and friends for my distorted thoughts and behaviour, I attended groups and all my doctors’ appointments and I committed to a regime of medications, exercise and diet. I left everything else in the hands of God. Before I knew it, I was starting a new chapter in my life and it all began right here.

I had been stuck in the negative for so long before I realised no one was going to save me but myself. Remember, you can’t tell a sick brain it’s ill. Eventually