How much should I say about myself online? A guide for psychologists and therapists on using self disclosure to reach and educate peopleThe power of self-disclosure for psycho-education My head was in my hands as I sat down at my table and tried to contemplate eating lunch. A year ago I attended Janet Murray’s 2020 sorted content planning event and it was the first time I had spent a night away from my children. My phone was buzzing every two minutes with a dilemma or an issue relating to my daughter’s behaviour. My daughter, Robyn, is a wonderful and spirited character and I appreciate every atom of her hyperactive self. BUT she can be a real challenge to look after. I am often very very tired and I was not surprised to hear that not all was quiet on the home front. Worry, and a healthy dose of “mum guilt,” washed over me like a tidal wave and I started to crumple. A woman I recognised from my online coaching group sat down next to me. I knew we were about the same age and that she had three kids and she looked kind so when she asked me “are you OK?” I told her my worries truthfully. In that moment I’d forgotten I was a psychologist. We were just two mums laughing about the craziness of kids and the ridiculousness of mum guilt. Then she asked me what my business was. I uttered the words “I’m a psychologist” and it felt like a confession! I laughed and muttered something horribly self-deprecating, straight from my self-critic. To my surprise, she looked emotional. I asked what was going on for her and she told me straight “it means so much to hear that a psychologist struggles with parenting too.” She told me that parents that access our services often feel really judged. She explained that they often walk out of our offices and think if only they could “be like us” they wouldn’t have the struggles that make their lives difficult. I had exploded that unhelpful facade in one moment of vulnerability. 
I use ACT and CFT most of the time as my main therapeutic models so I have seen this moment before. The moment someone actually accepts that they may not be a defective specimen for struggling with life sometimes. Self-disclosure in therapy can be really transformative when done in a thoughtful way and it can be in our lives and in our content too. When I talk about content today I am talking about blogs, podcasts, social media posts but also online courses, books or other resources you might create. Anything you put out into the world with the aim of educating people. It makes sense to me that when we are trying to educate people, illustrating our points with an example of our own psychology can normalise experience and encourage compassion and acceptance. 
It is, however, also important to consider your use of self-disclosure carefully because there are some pitfalls that we can fall in to. These are mostly the same as the pitfalls of self-disclosure in therapy but I think the effect can be amplified when we are creating online content because technically what we create could be seen by ALL our future clients. It won’t be, but it could!
Some pitfalls of self-disclosureDisclosing for my own gain not the client’s (making it all about ME)
Inhibiting the client’s ability to bring their struggles to me as they start to see me as vulnerable and want to protect me
Alienating clients by sharing stories that emphasise our differences/my privilege 
Igniting curiosity in the client that encourages questions that I don’t want to answer, therefore making a rupture in the relationship more likely.
Encouraging a sense of “friendship” rather than a professional, supportive relationship that exists for the benefit of the client. This could leave the client feeling they need to support me, repetition of the clients “usual” patterns in relationships and also to the blurring of boundaries across the board.

For that reason I have created a system I use to “check” my self-disclosure before I use a story for a post.
The...