Unshackling Success: 3 Steps to Stop People Pleasing and Succeed in Life and Business: People Pleasing, #1

By Boris Haliad-Elul

 

In "Unshackling Success," A Somatic Psychology Practitioner, Boris Haliad-Elul takes readers on a transformative journey through the intricate landscape of people-pleasing patterns that silently sabotage success in both life and business. Drawing from years of expertise and real-life case studies, Boris unveils a groundbreaking three-step approach to understanding and releasing these limiting behaviors.

Discover the stories and beliefs that underpin your people-pleasing tendencies. Boris skillfully navigates the intricate web of narratives, helping you redefine your relationship with success, approval, and self-worth. By challenging and reshaping these narratives, you'll break free from the shackles of people-pleasing, paving the way for authentic living and genuine success.

Guided by Boris's expertise, learn how to integrate your newfound awareness and revised narratives into actionable steps for daily life and professional endeavors. Receive a practical toolkit, offering strategies and exercises to reinforce your commitment to authentic living. Empowerment becomes not just a concept but a lived reality as you reclaim control over your choices and pursuits.

"Unshackling Success" is not just a book; it's a roadmap to personal and professional liberation. Whether you're an entrepreneur navigating the complexities of the business world or an individual seeking a more fulfilling life, this book is your guide to breaking free from the insidious grip of people-pleasing and unlocking the doors to genuine success. Embark on this transformative journey with Boris, and embrace a life that aligns with your true self. Your success story begins with the courage to be authentically you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Boris Haliad-Elul
• Release date: Jan 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224712359

Book preview

Chapter #1: Introduction

Are you the kind of person who will go to great lengths to please others, even at the cost of your well-being? Do you find it hard saying no when clients or colleagues ask for favors or accept tasks that are far outside the scope of your work requirements or prior agreements? Do you feel you have to be friends with everyone including your customers, business partners, and clients? Do you feel responsible and guilty when people get upset with you when you say no or don't give them what they want?

Trying to please everyone is exhausting and can feel confining and limiting on many levels. It also goes in direct conflict with an essential need in business to take risks and set boundaries. Without having this permission inside of ourselves, we may be doomed to bring our business to a serious halt—leading us down a path of failed promises, stress, and internal frustrations. Unleashing Authenticity: 3 Steps to Stop People Pleasing and Start Succeeding in Life and Business caters specifically to business entrepreneurs who want nothing more than to overcome their obstacles associated with low confidence, confusion, fear, shame, and excessive self-doubt. This no-nonsense course provides a new perspective on how to start thinking and feeling differently with applied tactics on how to implement them into your business and daily life.

Who am I?

I am a recovering people-pleaser! People-pleasing is a spectrum and where I started was a sad sight that could easily be considered ground zero. I was a therapist working in a physical therapy clinic and was the guy who would consistently go above and beyond what was expected. I was the guy people could rely on for a favor. I would sacrifice my vacation time, work overtime and weekends, and take on other people's responsibilities. I prided myself on being well-liked and someone people could count on, yet I was becoming increasingly tired, physically sick, and full of resentment. My body was breaking down, I was profoundly unhappy, depressed, and exhausted. I started to hate the job I worked so hard to get and resented my colleagues, patients, and those I worked for. I was slowly dying inside and all this happened before I even got into my thirties!

Starting that far on the spectrum early in life gave me an advantage, pain! Pain is one of the best motivators you will have and I had reached my threshold early!

Ever since I hit rock bottom in my late twenties, I have been mercilessly working on overcoming my traumas and limitations to achieve happiness and success. I spent well over $150,000 on therapy, workshops, courses, and different trainings. I was desperate and hungry to heal. After a few years of working out my challenges, I was accepted into a four-year Somatic Practitioner Certification and Personal Development program Called Core Energetics. It was a tough journey but it was worth every effort and sacrifice. Once I was able to heal a significant portion of my traumas and completed the Somatic Practitioner training, I began to help and support my fellow humans on this crazy rollercoaster experience we call life.

Starting my own business was a goal I had from the very beginning. For some, working for someone else is a comfortable and natural way to go yet for me and my personality I knew I had to step into the world of antrapreneuralship. From building my own practice to e-commerce and writing this book, my path has always been to build something of my own. With every step towards builiding my own businesses, my people-pleasing tendencies placed roadblocks to my success. Self sabotage, playing small, lack of boundaries and plaicating was like a virus that eroded my opportunities.

I noticed that I didn’t take risks with my business. One one hand I gave up my old profession of working for someone else, on the other hand I was afraid to be visible and attract my own clients. I was afraid to be overwhelmed, struggled with debilitating imposter syndrom and ran my business with one foot on the break.

What saved me was my decision to burn all the ships. The phrase comes from the story of Hernan Cortes, who wanted to leave himself and his men with only one options they made their way inland: conquer or die. He ordered his soldgiers to burn all the ships because they were not going back, conquer or die. This approach has been used for at leaset 2000 years with Tariq bin Ziyad who together with his army faced a massive force of 100, 000 soldiers. He ordered their ships to be burned so his troops could not lose heart and flee. Psychologically this can be used in any situation where your brain will come up with a thousand ways to escape pain. We are wired to move away from pain and towards pleasure. By burning the ships you are faced with only one choice, the only way out is through. With this mindset I gave myself