Are you your harshest critic? Do you say things to yourself that you would never dream of uttering to a good friend? You probably know you should be kinder to yourself, but often it’s difficult to be self-compassionate. This is especially true if you’ve grown up believing you need to be hard on yourself to achieve or be a good person. While undoing a lifetime of beliefs can be challenging, it is possible to learn to become more self-compassionate.
What is self-compassion?
Psychologist Catherine Moore explains that “When we forgive ourselves, accept our perceived flaws and show ourselves kindness, we practise self-compassion.” Compassion expert and author Dr Kristin Neff says there are three core characteristics of self-compassion:
1 Self-kindness: When you fail or make mistakes you choose to be kind to yourself rather than judgemental.
2 Common humanity: You understand that you’re only human and that imperfection is part of the shared human experience.
3 Mindfulness: You bring awareness to your suffering and what emotions you’re feeling, but you don’t over-identify or get stuck in them.
Self-compassion means extending the same kindness to yourself that you likely give to others. Author Courtney Ackerman writes that self-compassion “… means that you act the same
