Control Your Mind, Master Your Emotions How Emotionally Weak and Distracted People Can Craft Unshakable Emotional Stability, Superior Impulse Control, and Stop Overthinking, Even If It Seems Hopeless

By Leo Black

Stop letting your emotions and impulses hijack your life. Take the reins and step into a future filled with freedom and purpose.

Dig deep and you'll agree that being emotionally fragile, constantly distracted, and agitated by every trending social media war isn't doing you any favors.

While you're busy being a slave to your emotions and the endless scroll, life's over here, not giving a single crap.

So how do you make your mark in a world that wants to chew you up and spit you out?

It's simple but not easy…

You need grit. You need resilience. You need rock-solid inner strength and laser-like focus so you can be the type of person who takes life's curveballs and knocks them out of the park…

And that's exactly the kind of person you'll be after you flip the last page of this book.

This guide is loaded with actionable strategies, concrete tools, and a no-BS multifaceted approach that will rewire the way you handle life. It will transform you from a so-called "snowflake" into a mental and emotional powerhouse.

Inside, you'll discover:

 

• A 3-module toolkit designed to tackle your emotional and mental challenges from all angles… in weeks, not years
• Foolproof daily routines to lock in emotional stability… Start your day with a bang and end it with a satisfied sigh
• An ancient philosophy that's got Silicon Valley bigwigs to star athletes finding their zen
• The real reason you can't just "break" a habit — and what actually works to stop these pesky behaviors once and for all
• A counterintuitive technique that bends your mind to master your impulses… It's so subtle, your brain won't even see it coming
• Psychology-backed exercises that actually work to manage your emotions – no therapy sessions required!
• Why your social media addiction isn't your fault… and how to fight back and regain control of your attention — and your life

And much more.

You'll find multiple approaches, methods, and strategies in the book, allowing you to craft your own, personalized game plan for emotional resilience.

 

By the time you turn that last page, you won't just be well-read, you'll be well-armed and well on your way to emotional mastery.

 

Turn emotional fragility into unshakable strength, and scatterbrained focus into laser-sharp clarity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Leo Black
• Release date: Dec 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223759249

Book preview

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Table of Contents

Introduction

It Starts With Pain

The Self-Mastery Toolkit

It Ends With Gain

Chapter 1: The Roots of Fragility

How Fragile Are We?

The Signs of Emotional Weakness

The Psychology of Emotional Weakness

The ID, Ego, and Superego

Defense Mechanisms

The Impact of Repressed Emotions in Later Life

Attachments

The Neuroscience Behind Emotional Weakness

The Amygdala

Prefrontal Cortex

Dopamine, Serotonin, and Cortisol

The Vicious Cycle of Emotional Weakness and Distraction

The Devil's in the Distraction

Distractions Are Designed to Make Us Fail; Focus Helps Us Succeed

Conclusion

Chapter 2: The Philosophy of Calm

What Is Stoicism?

Famous Stoics

The Four Virtues of Stoicism

Courage

Wisdom

Temperance

Justice

Practicing the Stoic Philosophy

Stoicism for Daily Living

The Morning Routine

The Evening Review

The Dichotomy of Control

Stop Worrying

Accept That Suffering Becomes a Choice

Transform Adversity Into Strength

Activate the Dichotomy of Control

Voluntary Discomfort

Engage in a Temporary Poverty

Say No to Things That Bring You Pleasure

Benefits of Voluntary Discomfort

Amor Fati

How to Apply Amor Fati in Your Life Right Now

Conclusion

Chapter 3: Taking the Reins

What Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?

What Are the Four Modules or Strategies of DBT?

DBT and Emotional Regulation as an Antidote to Emotional Dysregulation and Impulsivity

DBT Case Study Successes

Actionable Steps: Practical DBT Exercises

Wise Mind

Describe Your Emotions

Mindful Breathing

Opposite Action

Conclusion

Chapter 4: Tapping Into Stability

What Is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)?

How Is EFT Tapping Performed?

What Are the Benefits of EFT Tapping?

What Does the Research Say?

When Is EFT Necessary to Consider?

A Guide to Basic EFT Tapping Sequences for Emotional Stability

The Five-Step Sequence

What Are the Side Effects of the EFT Tapping Process?

Support for First-Timers

Conclusion

Chapter 5: Waiting Game

What Is Delayed Gratification?

Examples of Delayed Gratification

Why Is Delayed Gratification Important?

What Are the Benefits of Delayed Gratification on Health and Well-Being?

Case Study: The Marshmallow Test

Why Is the Waiting So Difficult?

Connecting Delayed Gratification with Success

Delayed Gratification in Practice

The 10-10-10 rule

The Mindful Pause

The Not Now, Later Technique

Conclusion

Chapter 6: The Habit Factor

The Habit Loop

Forming Habits

What Is a Habit Loop?

How Can Developing Good Habits Affect Positive Change?

The Habit Loop and Impulse Control

How Emotional Regulation and Strong Impulse Control Help to Develop Good Habits

How Emotional Dysregulation and Poor Impulse Control Develop Bad Habits

Disrupting Bad Habits to Make Way for Good Habits

Habit Auditing

What Is Habit Auditing?

The Importance of Performing a Habit Audit

How to Conduct a Habit Audit

Creating Positive Habits and Breaking Negative Ones

Habit Stacking

Using Trigger Events

Replace, Don't Erase

Conclusion

Chapter 7: Make It Count

The Importance of Structure

What Is a Structured Routine?

What Are the Benefits of a Structured Routine?

Why Is a Structured Daily Routine Important?

The Pomodoro Technique

The Pomodoro Technique as a Form of Timeboxing

What Is Timeboxing?

What Is the Pomodoro Technique?

Implementing the Pomodoro Technique

Conclusion

Chapter 8: Flip the Script

Cognitive Distortions

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Examples of Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive Reframing

What Is Cognitive Reframing?

What Are the Benefits of Cognitive Reframing for Overthinking?

Examples of Cognitive Reframing in Action

Reframing Negative Thoughts

Step One: Get Calm

Step Two: Identify the situation That Caused the Negative Thoughts

Step Three: Analyze How Your Negative Thoughts Are Affecting Your Emotions and Mood

Step Four: Identify Your Autopilot Thoughts—Those Knee-Jerk Reactions—and What These Are Telling You

Step Five: Step Back and See Things More Objectively

Step Six: Identify Evidence That Supports a Different Way of Reading the Situation

Step Seven: Reframe Your Thinking in a Balanced and Fair Way Based on Your Analysis of the Two Possible Ways in Which Your Thoughts Could be Framed

Conclusion

Chapter 9: Off the Grid

The Digital Quagmire

Click-Bait Culture and the Dopamine High

The Dopamine Factor

Smartphones

The Psychological and Emotional Effects of Constant Digital Engagement

Intuitive User Interface (UI) and User Experience (UX design)

The Case for Digital Detox

What Is a Digital Detox?

What Are the Benefits of a Digital Detox?

The 10-Step Digital Detox Plan

Conclusion

Conclusion

What Are the Actionable Steps Toward Self-Mastery?

A Game Plan

Day-to-Day Habits that Foster and Grow Self-Awareness

Connecting With Others and With Yourself Beyond the Distraction of Negative Thoughts and Digital Screens

References

Introduction

Father of American psychology, William James, once declared, The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another (in Gelles, 2015). We live in a society, and in a digitally loaded culture, where we are constantly reactive rather than responsive. The distractions of our day-to-day life keep us mindless and not mindful. We connect to our emotions in a destructive way-numbing it through what we watch, what we listen to, what and who we interact with, and what we eat. And within the heartbeat of our culture is an emotional volatility that makes it easy for us to blame others, blame society, for being rendered a victim and emotionally weak in serving the zeitgeist. We too easily surrender our choice.

Your emotions are not the problem. You should not be at the mercy of your emotions or use your emotions as an excuse. Your inability to manage and master your emotions is the problem.

By mastery, I don't mean that your emotions need to be suppressed, rendering you the equivalent of Bruce Banner waiting for a trigger to transform into the Hulk. Controlling your emotions means that you are living authentically and developing productive strategies to maintain a healthy balance between emotions—responding proactively and mindfully rather than reacting defensively and impulsively.

Please note that the content represented here is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Rather, it is presented as a set of philosophical and actionable guidelines for you to consider and apply responsibly.

It Starts With Pain

IN READING THIS BOOK, you are acknowledging that you are afraid that you haven't tapped into your full potential. You are aware of your emotional challenges, distractions, and poor impulse control as being more than just issues. They are the very things that stand in the way of your achieving your potential—professionally, personally and emotionally.

You are also acknowledging that you are emotionally volatile—succumbing to work stress, conflict in relationships and personal crises in a way that unbalances you emotionally. The distractions offered by smartphones, social media, streaming services and the ping of endless notifications distract you from being productive, and from developing strong and healthy relationships. Time management flies out the window amidst a sea of distractions.

You lack impulse control, and your failure to kick unhealthy habits leads to regret and anxiety. Shame is fed by an inability to delay instant gratification because you are not considering the long-term impact and consequences of your actions in a mindful way.

You are trapped in cycles of overthinking, worrying and remembering past events. These anxious thoughts prevent you from acting.

It's difficult to confront who we are and to see ourselves reflected back to us. Pain is necessary. No pain, no gain. Pain exposes our weaknesses so that we can gain new perspectives and purpose.

But you are not weak. Like an athlete at the beginning of their career, you need training.

This book will act as a catalyst that provides you with the necessary training and tools to effect meaningful change in your life, to develop emotional resilience, and strong, productive habits. It will teach you that people matter more than things and that prioritizing your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues will make your life better.

The Self-Mastery Toolkit

UNLIKE MANY SELF-HELP books that offer a single approach or philosophy to address emotional and mental challenges, this book adopts a holistic, multidisciplinary approach to overcoming these challenges. This less restricted approach allows a variety of theories, methods, and approaches to interact with each other, drawing on the strengths of each. This new Self-mastery Toolkit draws on a diverse range of proven methods—from Stoicism and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to emotion-focused therapy (EFT) and habit formation. The toolkit is also action-oriented, with practical steps to achieve stronger emotional stability, superior impulse control, and enhanced focus. You will be introduced to a few practical shortcuts to fast-track your self-mastery. These include:

●  Practicing a stoic morning routine and evening review.

●  Embracing amor fati.

●  Mindful breathing.

●  The 10-10-10 rule.

●  The not now, later technique.

●  The habit loop and habit stacking.

●  The Pomodoro technique.

●  A 10-step digital detox plan.

You will learn more about these throughout the book and how they can serve to develop stronger emotional regulation and impulse control.

It Ends With Gain

AFTER APPLYING THESE strategies and techniques from the Self-Mastery Toolkit, you can expect a transformative shift that will enable you to better manage life's challenges—whether these are the small daily distractions that affect productivity, to the major life events that render