Misery: Truth or illusion

By Catalin Ilioaea

“Throughout this book, I want you to become aware of the fact that you allow misery too easily to settle into your life, and you give happiness too little chance. For that I’ll have to scold you a bit, though you should be the one doing it.

Are there really that many benefits to you when you suffer? I do not think so. Then why do you keep going?

If you don’t have an answer, I invite you to read the thoughts of a simple man who, after years of listening and observing the world around him, came to wonder:

Is misery real or is it an illusion?

I have selected some of the causes that lead to misery, and in each chapter I have tried to present you the aspects that few choose to explore and understand.

I hope this book will help you find your own answers.”

—the Author

• Language: English
• Publisher: LETRAS
• Release date: Oct 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9786303121451

Book preview

Cătălin Ilioaea

Misery

Truth or Illusion?

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COPYRIGHT

Misery: Truth or Illusion? / Cătălin Ilioaea

ISBN eBook ePub: 978-630-312-145-1

Full responsibility for the contents of this book belongs to the author.

Copyright 2023, Cătălin Ilioaea

This book is protected by copyright law.

Book distributed by www.piatadecarte.net

email: [e-mail]

Orders by phone. [phone] // 0787 708 844

For publication requests, you can contact the publishing house by email: [e-mail]

Letras Publishing House / www.letras.ro

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Table of contents

COPYRIGHT

Introduction

Loneliness

Envy

Jealousy

Lie

Depression

Anxiety

Illness

Lack of Respect

Lack of Trust

Lack of Love

Lack of Money

Introduction

Thank you for choosing to read this book.

As you will see in the chapters to come, I wanted to emphasize that we are different one from each other. It is very important to understand that.

This is my opinion and it does not mean I am correct. You can choose to agree with me or not. It is your option. I am a common person who likes to look around, listen to people, and try to understand them.

I am not a doctor, I am not a psychologist, and I have no specific education in that field. What I have written is my opinion about what creates our misery.

Why did I choose to write about misery?

Because whether we like it or not, it's part of everyone's lives. But that doesn't mean we have to pay so much attention to it and let it control us.

And happiness is part of us, just as love and kindness are part of us. Why do we choose misery so easily? Does it really bring us so many benefits?

Is the world we live in really that bad?

Are our grievances really justified?

Can't we have a happy life?

These were the questions I asked myself and I came to the conclusion that life can be happy if we choose it to be.

We are the ones responsible for our lives. And we have no excuses for the way we choose to live.

Why did I add `truth or illusion`?

Because I want all of you to ask yourself: Is my misery real? Or is it an illusion?

I could just tell you that most of the time I think it's an illusion. But I don't want to say this. I leave it up to you to choose what the misery in your life looks like.

I am merely giving you this book in which I will present to you misery as I consider it to be.

What you decide in the end I want it to be strictly your choice.

Loneliness

Loneliness is one of those words that shouldn't exist.

Because it is impossible to be alone.

There are so many beings on earth: humans, animals, birds, insects, plants, etc.

Even if everything were to disappear in an instant and you were left alone, you still have you.

So I ask you: Why do you occupy your mind with this fear of loneliness? Why don`t you try to discover the reasons why you are afraid of being alone?

Nothing and no one is guaranteed to always be there to save you from loneliness. The only one who can do that is you. If you will understand and accept this, then you will be able to fully enjoy the people who will be part of your life and you will not always think that, at some point, they will leave and you will be alone again.

It is never too late to try to get to the source of the fear of being alone and slowly eliminate it.

Don't try to dwell in the past. No matter what unpleasant experience you have been through. It happened in the past. Why do you hang on to it and think maybe it will happen again?

This will prevent you from enjoying the present.

I would like to ask you something. Have you never turned anyone down?

Have you ever decided to stop being a part of someone's life? And, yes, you had the best reasons for deciding that.

And yet, you, by your own decision, made that person feel alone.

Now, do you understand what I mean? People have the right to decide who they spend their time with. And most of all, people can change their decisions whenever they feel the need. Nothing lasts forever. The only person who will be with you every moment will be yourself. So why are you afraid of yourself?

When you are alone, you are, in fact, with you. But since you are afraid of being alone, it means that you are afraid of yourself.

I'm not saying that being alone is better than being with someone. No one knows what's best for you but you. You are the only one who knows. The fear of loneliness, without realizing it, is instilled in us at every pace by television channels, social platforms and so on. Maybe some of us feel better alone. But we allow ourselves to be affected by those around us. Sometimes even our family affects us without realizing that there is nothing wrong if at 20, 25, 30 years old we are alone, that is, without being in a relationship. The truth is we are not alone. As I said at the beginning, we cannot be alone. So why are we sometimes conditioned by those around us? That it is necessary to be together with someone?

Why is it that when friends, co-workers, relatives hear that you are single, they seem so surprised? Instead of asking if you're single or with someone, why not ask if you're happy?

Isn't that what should matter the most, to be happy? Regardless of whether we are alone or with a person, an animal, a bird, a plant, etc.

But most of us don't even fear loneliness, but because of those around us, we choose to be with someone. This happens in order to be similar with the others, as they say, rather than to be happy. Let me tell you something important! No one has the right to tell you how to choose to be happy!

The important thing is to be happy!

Let's get back to loneliness! What does loneliness mean to you? Is it the fact that you're single, now? Being with someone but afraid of ending up alone?

Let's take them one at a time! You are alone now. Can you really know if you'll be single in an hour, a day, and a week?

No, you can't know. But I tell you for sure that, thinking about loneliness all the time, you will experience loneliness. Because what exactly do you do to get rid of loneliness? Would you choose a person like you? A person who no longer smiles, who no longer enjoys life because one feels alone?

I don't think you would choose a person like that. So, I ask you, why would anyone choose you?

You should know that thinking doesn't work: If I were with someone, I would be the happiest person in the world.

Be happy first and you'll see how, in addition to feeling great, you'll also attract people into your life.

Then, the fact that you are with someone, but you are afraid of ending up alone.

Ideally, we are with someone because we love that person, and that person is, in turn, with us because he loves us. As long as we continue to love the person next to us, we have no reason to leave him, right?

But if the person you're with decides to leave you, doesn't that mean he's stopped loving you?

In such situations, we should understand what is most important to us. Be with someone just to remove the fear of loneliness or be with someone because we love that person and that person loves us. It is very important to realize what makes us happy. Because if it's more important for us to be with someone to get rid of the fear of loneliness than to love us, then that fear will never go away. On the contrary, as I said before, you will not be able to enjoy the present, because you will always be thinking that you might be alone again.

It all starts with you. You are your own best partner.

You get along best. You know what makes you happy, what you like to do and what you don't. That's why you have to give yourself a lot of importance.

But what happens if, after a while, for various reasons, you no longer enjoy being with the person next to you? If what he does and says bothers you? What if your love for him starts to decrease?

Do you continue to accept him out of fear of being alone?

Even if he's not good for you?

What I'm going to tell you next is going to be a bit tougher, but I have to tell you because, apparently, people are not aware of this aspect. It's not right to be with someone to escape such loneliness. We should choose to be with someone for the simple reason that we love that person and want to give them our love and our way of being. If we choose to be with someone to satisfy our needs and solve our fears, in our case being the fear of loneliness, then that means we are using that person and it's not nice at all.

That's why most relationships fail.

Both partners use each other to satisfy their needs and overcome their fears. When we love, we can never do such a thing.

And whether it's fear of loneliness or anything else, everything we do and everything