Frogs and Ghosts

By D. T. Adams

 

Can't stand online dating? You're not the only one

 

Join me as I rant, moan and complain about the brutal world of online dating. I hate it and find it loathsome at times, yet like so many others, it's something I need.

 

In Frogs and Ghosts, I don't hold back. I share my honest, uncensored opinions about this modern frustration. So many of us resort to using the internet to improve our love lives, but there's never a guarantee of success.

 

You're lonely and all you desire is to find some wonderful hero to fall in love with. Yet thanks to the moneygrubbing nature of online dating and the huge number of insincere people out there, finding the right person can be like scaling a mountain.

 

Do you despise online dating with a passion? Does it drive you mad? Is it nothing but a chore for you?

 

If you're fed up with using the internet to find love and want to read my thoughts on it, you should find Frogs and Ghosts enjoyable.

 

Buy now and see what I have to say about online dating. See why I'm sick and tired of it, and see if you agree with my rants.

• Language: English
• Publisher: D. T. Adams
• Release date: Oct 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223399827

Book preview

RANT 1

A DIGITAL SOLUTION FOR A REAL-LIFE PROBLEM

Sooner or later, you realise something: online dating is nothing more than a digital solution for a real-life problem. If you use any sort of online dating platform, you’re hoping that technology will solve a problem related to your actual life. You create an account and upload photos and information to a platform so that you can have a real-life date with someone and hopefully take things further with them.

It’s a source of annoyance that the digital solution is superior to any solution the real world can offer. Let’s face it, if you want to date people these days, you need to use at least one dating app or site otherwise your chances of finding someone are significantly reduced. Everyone’s online and if you want to find a group of prospects to wade through, you have to be on the internet. There’s no doubt about it.

Yes, many connections are formed without dating platforms or any sort of internet-based activity. People bump into each other in bars, eateries and shops and strike up a conversation. They might get talking on public transport; a big if, but it could happen. They could be introduced to each other by friends or colleagues or whatever. Even though online dating may seem like the be-all and end-all, it’s far from the only way to meet people. 

What irks me though is that it’s arguably the most effective way of finding people these days. But as you can tell, I find it far from perfect! A great aspect of the internet is that it can bring together people who otherwise would never have met. It can foster all sorts of worthwhile connections and make it easier and more convenient for people to find each other. So why do I find it irksome that online dating is perhaps the best way of meeting potential partners?

Because I’d rather not faff about with all this malarkey. I don’t want to be spending goodness knows how much time on dating platforms only to face disappointment, rejection and frustration on a regular basis. I’d rather not have to present others with a compressed, digitised version of myself for them to make that all-important initial judgement on. I’d rather not have to spend even more time than I already do staring at a screen, especially when no result is guaranteed.

For many people in today’s internet-obsessed world, quite a lot of connections begin online. Lots of us make new friends online, maybe even meet new colleagues online and, of course, find boyfriends or girlfriends online. It’s incredibly quick to go on the internet and start something with someone, whether it’s a relationship or something else. It’s the easiest way to meet people, by far.

But part of me wishes the online way wasn’t the de facto option. Wouldn’t it be great if we could meet people just as easily in the real world as we do online? When I look through the list of nearby people on an online dating platform, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if I could meet all of them in real life (one at a time!) as easily as I could send them a message over the internet. When you come to rely on online solutions, it makes you wonder why you’ve been failing at the real-world alternative, or not giving it a go at least.

Ugh … I’d rather not deal with an online dating platform, but it’s pretty much the only way to form at least some sort of connection with other people. Even if I were to put myself out there in the real world and always be friendly and sociable and all that, the digital solution would always win. Hands down.

RANT 2

NO GUARANTEE OF SUCCESS

Here’s a universal truth about online dating: there’s no guarantee that you’ll find what you’re looking for. No matter how fantastic a person you may be, no dating site or app can promise that it will produce some results for you. Even the most photogenic person in the world could craft a fully optimised profile and still not get any dates.

When you start your online dating experience, you’re understandably full of optimism. The gates are opening for you and you’re going to have access to hundreds if not thousands of profiles … so many potential matches, so many potential dates, partners, boyfriends/girlfriends … whatever. There’s a huge number of possibilities but just because there are lots of people you could meet up with in real life, doesn’t mean you’ll get to meet a single one of them.

Anyone, no matter how appealing or unappealing their profile is, can go through droughts where nothing happens and they’re stuck at square one. By the same token, anyone can be lucky enough to meet someone and eventually take the digital connection they’ve formed into the real world.

Luck has a large role to play here. That’s something you have to accept when you