Hunting Illusions The Narcissistic Family Dynamics

By Brian Gibson

"Hunting Illusions: The Narcissistic Family Dynamics" is a profound and illuminating exploration into the intricate world of narcissistic family dynamics. This thought-provoking book delves deep into the hidden complexities and emotional impact of growing up in a family system where narcissism prevails. Through expert analysis and compassionate insights, it unravels the various layers of neglect, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and parentification that can shape the lives of those caught in its web.

With a delicate blend of psychological expertise and empathetic storytelling, this book offers readers a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing. It empowers individuals to recognize and embrace the existence of narcissism within their families, encouraging them to break free from the illusions that have held them captive.

Readers traverse its pages and are guided with practical strategies and empowering tools to rebuild self-esteem, set healthy boundaries, and cultivate resilience. This book advocates for transforming relationships within the family and the wider world through open communication, empathy, and personal growth.

"Hunting Illusions: The Narcissistic Family Dynamics" is a beacon of hope for those seeking to break free from the grip of narcissism and embark on a path of self-awareness, growth, and fulfillment. With its powerful message of healing and transformation, this book serves as a guiding light toward building healthier, more loving connections that transcend the shadows of the past.

• Language: English
• Publisher: vincenzo nappi
• Release date: Jul 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223094548

Book preview

Chapter One

INtroduction

Since its introduction into psychological literature, narcissism has received considerable theoretical and clinical attention. As a psychological term, narcissism focuses on the quality of individual self-involvement. Because the notion of self is essentially an artificial construct, it is not universally perceived in the same way, making a study in this area somewhat problematic. The current preoccupation with narcissism has led some authors to speculate that it merely reflects the current Western Me generation's fixation on the self. However, the concept is anything but new, deriving from the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus, and rather than being considered the 'problem' of our times, it should be regarded more as the concern of certain theoreticians of our time. Freud's (1914) paper provided the impetus for psychoanalytic theorizing about narcissism. Although this paper was sometimes metapsychologically obscure and was to be contradicted by his subsequent writings, it nonetheless paved the way for people like Kernberg (1970, 1975) and Kohut (1971, 1977), whose contributions have been invaluable in establishing contemporary notions of narcissism.

Although sometimes theoretically dissimilar, their achievements in this area have provided clinicians with a theoretically robust framework to conceptualize and treat individuals presenting with narcissistic disturbances. As a result of these two theorists' efforts, interest in this area increased to the extent that the American Psychiatric Association included the construct of narcissism in its diagnostic nosology in 1980. The DSM-III represented an overlap of their efforts in this area, describing a distinct group of clients encountered by mental health professionals. The development of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory to measure narcissistic personality traits in nonclinical populations has provided empirical evidence for many of their assumptions, considerably increasing knowledge in this domain. In addition to providing a single score for narcissism, the authors have considered the multidimensionality of this construct, providing several interdependent component scores of narcissism in their inventory. The literature concerning therapist characteristics has proposed that those entering the field of psychotherapy are likely to be narcissistic individuals. The suggestion is that the temperament and constellation of the family of origin that leads to narcissism predisposes individuals to seek careers as psychotherapists. The psychotherapist's family of origin tends to be characterized by a dominant maternal figure who occupies a pivotal position in the family.

However, due to the mother's emotional insecurity, she depends on the child behaving in a certain way to maintain her narcissistic equilibrium. The child can perceive and respond intuitively to this need and tailors its behavior to meet parental demands. The child's successful adaptation to parental expectations means it is likely to carry this responsibility to the rest of the family, developing a heightened awareness of other family members' needs. Because open emotional communication between family members tends not to be encouraged, the child learns to be particularly sensitive to unconscious signals indicating the needs of others. This requires a keen perception of the family's emotional life so that the child may provide advice and consultation to individual family members and be responsible for resolving arguments and reducing family tensions. Because the family's need for cohesion and stability tends to be relatively high (ibid), the future psychotherapist's function in the family of origin appears to be concerned with maintaining the status quo. This role fosters psychological-mindedness, making a career choice in psychotherapy a familiar one.

However, by assuming this role, the child invariably forfeits the nurturance and caretaking that appears to be necessary for normal narcissistic development. In her research on the relationship between personality variables and vocational choice, a severely pathological early environment resulting in the minimal satisfaction of typically higher-order needs will result in a defensive avoidance of these needs - characteristically interpersonal needs. Conversely, a psychologically healthy childhood wherein needs are routinely satisfied as they arise produces minimal unconscious motivators. Between these two environments exists an ambiguous family climate containing acceptance and rejection wherein needs are partly but not optimally satisfied, thereby becoming unconscious motivators. It is this environment that may predispose one to choose to become a psychotherapist. As a result of this early deprivation, the child may be motivated to enter the field of psychotherapy to provide the closeness and intimacy lacking in its relationship with its parents. Because the child has been 'trained' from an early age to take care of the emotional needs of others, it seems fair to assume that such an individual may tend to predict career self-efficacy in those occupations emphasizing the need for interpersonal skills.

The assumption is not that most individuals entering the field of psychotherapy suffer from an identifiable personality disorder; rather, the literature suggests that narcissistic traits influence the occupational choice to ensure higher-order need gratification. In addition to the above assertions that psychotherapists have been coached from an early age to take care of the emotional life of others and fulfill this role to have unconscious needs for love, affirmation, and acceptance met a career in psychotherapy provides additional rewards. Traditionally, the psychotherapist holds an important position in society; the career itself is regarded as a high-status position with the potential for some financial gain. In addition, as a healer, the psychotherapist is largely regarded with admiration and awe by both clients and the public. The literature seems to submit, then, that due to disruptions in normal narcissistic development due to early parenting strategies, narcissistic needs for recognition, affirmation, omnipotence, success, and approval will be satisfied by a career in psychotherapy. Most of the research in this area has largely been based on anecdotal case studies, which have lacked both comparison groups and methodological soundness.

Recent studies, however, have investigated the psychotherapist's family of origin and levels of narcissism in this population. Whereas the former has indicated that psychotherapists tend to experience their families of origin differently from those pursuing other careers, despite the literature's speculations, the latter has failed to show significant differences between psychotherapists and other professionals.