Psychology Worlds Issue 8: A Student's Guide To University and Learning A University Guide For Psychology Students: Psychology Worlds, #8

By Connor Whiteley

Over 68,000 words of psychological knowledge, theory and practice by bestselling writer Connor Whiteley in one great collection. If you want great, fascinating information covering a wide range of psychological topics for a cheaper price you NEED to buy this issue!

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Issue 8 contains two brilliant full-length psychology books:

• A Student's Guide To University and Learning
• Personality Psychology and Individual Differences

AND contains 5 enthralling blog posts:

• 3 Tips To Help You Stop Procrastinating
• 4 Factors That Cause Friendships To End
• What Is Gaslighting and When It is Gaslighting?
• Who Is More Likely To Recover From Psychosis?
• Why Are More Authentic People Happier?

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• Language: English
• Publisher: CGD Publishing
• Release date: Aug 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215226018

Connor Whiteley

Hello, I'm Connor Whiteley, I am an 18-year-old who loves to write creatively, and I wrote my Brownsea trilogy when I was 14 years old after I went to Brownsea Island on a scout camp. At the camp, I started to think about how all the broken tiles and pottery got there and somehow a trilogy got created.Moreover, I love writing fantasy and sci-fi novels because you’re only limited by your imagination.In addition, I'm was an Explorer Scout and I love camping, sailing and other outdoor activities as well as cooking.Furthermore, I do quite a bit of charity work as well. For example: in early 2018 I was a part of a youth panel which was involved in creating a report with research to try and get government funding for organised youth groups and through this panel. I was invited to Prince Charles’ 70th birthday party and how some of us got in the royal photograph.Finally, I am going to university and I hope to get my doctorate in clinical psychology in a few years.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

As we continue with our look at university as the main book of this issue and I hope you’re enjoying the warmer summer months if you’re in the northern hemisphere, I wanted to say that I’m really looking forward to this issue. Since there is a great mess up of topics in this issue.

Not only from the sensational and fascinating topics covered in the magazine. For instance, who is most likely to recover from psychosis, when it is gaslighting and why authentic people are happier amongst other ones

But because the main book in this issue focuses on learning, exams and a lot of other important university-related topics. Therefore, if you are a university student or someone going to university for the first time in September (or whenever your university year starts in your country) you’re in for a great treat with this book.

If you aren’t, then don’t worry. You will still really enjoy this issue as like normal it’s packed full of interesting pieces of information for you to learn from and enjoy.

So now we know what to expect, let’s turn over the page and dive into some great psychology topics.

3 TIPS TO STOP PROCRASTINATION IN DEPRESSED PEOPLE

Taking a step away from mainstream clinical psychology, I still think this is a great episode for psychology students and psychology professionals because depression is a part of life. (Please remember there’s a difference between Major Depression and Depression) And this podcast episode will be great help with when you’re sad and depressed in everyday life.

3 Tips To Help You Stop Procrastinating If You’re Depressed or Sad

Switch Up Your Priorities

When you’re upset or depressed, you don’t feel like doing certain tasks and you don’t always have the energy. So you need to break the cycle of procrastination and one way to do this is by switching up your priorities.

For example, I remember a very distinct time after my first driving lesson after the third lockdown here in the UK and it went badly. I hadn’t driven for months upon months and... it just didn’t go well.

In fact, I got so annoyed and sad about it I made myself ill. I had a terrible headache and it costed me an evening of my life.

Anyway as I was coming ill and was extremely sad with myself, and I was home alone, I knew it needed to do some basic life things. Also I should take this opportunity to remind you that for depressed people even getting out of bed can seem impossible.

Furthermore, I knew I was basically depressed and starting to get a headache so I made sure I did some stuff like make myself some dinner. But normally I would want to do some other things first but by making my dinner first, I managed to break the cycle of procrastination.

Overall, when you’re feeling depressed and sad (Whether it’s because something happened at university or work), try to break the cycle by changing up with routine and priorities. For example, exercise before you go to work or university or vice versa if that’s part of your routine.

Take Another Route To Your Goal

I remember when it was towards the end of my first university term and surprise, surprise a group project was going wrong. (I really don’t like group projects) so I was so annoyed and depressed about it because I didn’t want to fail or do bad at my first major project at university.

Yet I knew I had try and fix the situation but I was so depressed by it all, I couldn’t face it.

Therefore, another tip is to take another route to your goal and what this means is do something else that will break the cycle of procrastination. Then by the time it’s finished you should have the energy and concentration to finish the goal you’ve been avoiding.

Whilst I completely forget what I ended up doing for my first project, a few nights ago there was a health related situation (absolutely nothing serious, I promise) and it made me loose all focus and interest in writing fiction that night. So instead of entering a cycle of procrastination because I really wanted to write the story I was planning to, I switched to another task. I wrote some nonfiction instead.

So whilst that’s a very specific example to me and my life, the point is whenever you feel down and enter a cycle of procrastination, you can break it by doing something else and returning to the goal later.

For a university student, it might be reading a textbook chapter and returning to your essay later.

For a psychology professional, you might want to check out Continued Professional Development course then return to typing up your client’s report later on.

Self-Compassion

A final tip is very simple, be kind to yourself.

Sometimes we give ourselves so much grief for no reason or we think we need to make a decision there and then, when we don’t.

For example, when I got a bit depressed about my first university project, there was no reason for me to get depressed about it. It wasn’t my fault and I was trying my best with the project.

For the driving example, I hadn’t driven for months so of course I was going to be bad.

Therefore, whenever you’re faced with a problem that’s getting you down, just be kind to yourself and maybe check out some self-compassion techniques to help you. Since sometimes you just need to tell yourself you aren’t in any danger so you can concentrate on other things and come back to the problem later on.

Clinical Psychology Reference:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/202106/4-procrastination-tips-when-youre-feeling-down

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4 FACTORS THAT CAUSE FRIENDSHIPS TO END

As I’ve mentioned in other social psychology episodes and in my Social Psychology and Psychology of Human Relationships books, humans are a very social species and our bonds are very important to all of us. Therefore, when these relationships break we all tend to be upset, confused and just flat out devastated when these people who we have spent time in bonding and maintaining our relationships with, are no longer our friends. But what causes this to happen? That’s the focus of today’s great episode.

Apostolou and Keramari (2021)

In order to answer that question we need to look at a great new study that investigates both the evolutionary psychology and social psychology behind friendships, but first we need to emphasise the importance of the topic a little more. Because this does truly affect everyone, no matter their age, socioeconomic status or where they live, we all prefer to keep bonds than break them.

This is even more important when we consider how much of a role friendships play in all our lives. Since it is our friends that provide us with companionship, emotional support and they are sources of a lot of pleasure and joy. Therefore, when our friendships do decay and break down, we do lose an awful lot of great things.

That’s why it is critical to know why friendships break down in the first place.

To investigate this, Apostolou and Keramari (2021) conducted a recent study using 577 over 18-year-olds and this study ended up concluding 4 factors that lead to why friendships end. And for the sake of research methodology and to stretch out this episode a little longer, it’s important to note that both men and women were used in this study, so the results can be applied to both sexes, and there was no difference between opposite- and same-sex friendships, so these results are fairly generalisable.

As well as another good thing about this study is that you really can apply the results to your own life to different extents so you can possibly understand why you’ve lost friends in the past, and these results could help all of us to be better friends moving forward.

Apostolou and Keramari (2021)’s 4 Factors To Why Friendships End

Now let’s look at these 4 factors.

Romantic Involvement

The researchers found that women were more likely to end friendships if they perceived that their friend was interested in them or their partner romantically. Which I can understand because it certainly does bring a little more awkwardness to the friendship. Then again I’ve been in friendships when I’ve liked them and they actually didn’t impact the friendship at all and it ended for completely different reasons that were more to do with other people then me and my friend.

Lack of Frequent Interaction

This is definitely an important factor and I will have to admit, I am extremely guilty of this, and I would have to say this is probably how most of my friendships have ended in the past. But Apostolou and Keramari (2021) found that losing touch and having a decreased amount of communication fell under this reason for why friendships ended. As well as men, not women, were more likely to say this was a reason for ending a friendship.

Selfishness

This reason isn’t strictly limited to selfishness per se, because a lack of reciprocity and trust in a friendship fell under this section too. As well as if friendships were or became unsupportive, unkind or manipulative then these traits also fell under this reason, among others. And I really do recommend checking out the study itself for more details for this category, some of it’s really interesting.

In addition, women were more likely than men to end friendships because of selfishness.

Perceptions Of Friends and Family

This is a reason I have wholeheartedly support and this is just an awful reason because I really can and does ruin friendships. Therefore, Apostolou and Keramari (2021) found that both men and women were just as likely as each other to end their friendships if their other friends and family members disapproved of them. And one example of this could be our other friends pointing out the negative effects these friends have on us.

Personally, I completely get that example and I have done it too. I have openly said to friends before that I didn’t think they were a good influence on them, and to be honest they weren’t. Because we all want to protect our friends so they don’t make a decision they’re going to regret or do something stupid, if not a little criminal. And even that example has probably given you an insight into one of my friendships and their other friends.

But equally, something friends and family members can overreact for no reason and ruin a very healthy and great friendship. So it is a tough one and one that I have a lot of experience with.

Lastly, Apostolou and Keramari (2021) did find that older people were more likely to end friendships than younger people, with the researchers suggesting this is because older people tend to already have a well-formed group of friends so they’re in a better position to sort through and eliminate friendships that aren’t serving them well.

Limitations of Apostolou and Keramari (2021)

Of course, no study is ever perfect and I do sort of like to look at this methodology side of life on the podcast from time to time. For example, Apostolou and Keramari (2021) didn’t look at the difference in dynamics involved in ending opposite versus same-sex friendships, so that’s something for future studies to explore.

Additionally, it would have been good to know the quality (strength) of the friendships before it was ended. This would allow us to understand if a newer friendship is easier or harder to end than an older one, and if the reasons are different.

Finally, and this is a mini-theme on The Psychology World Podcast, but this study was conducted in Greece. As a result, it would be interesting to see if this study replicated well in other cultures in other countries on other continents.

Conclusion

Personally, I know today’s episode was very different from what we normally look at on the podcast but it is important to do. It is important for all of us to break out of our niches from time to time and explore other areas of our amazing, wonderful and to be honest, breath-taking profession.

And this is even better when we explore a topic that does directly impact our lives and maybe even improves it.

Since now we know as real people, not psychologists, four things not to do, or we do truly risk ruining and breaking our friendships with those we treasure. This is something I think we can all agree is something that we really, really want to avoid.

Because we are a social species, and absolutely none of us want to experience the pain of losing our precious social bonds.

Social Psychology Reference

Apostolou, M., & Keramari, D.(2021). Why friendships end: An evolutionary examination. Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences. Advance publication.

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WHAT IS GASLIGHTING AND WHEN IT IS GASTLIGHTING?

Gaslighting is a very popular term in recent times and it is reasonably common to some extent, and it allowed victims and sufferers to name what was happening to them. But as the term started to gain popularity and currency, it started to lose its meaning. In this social psychology podcast episode, we look at what is gaslighting and most importantly, when is it gaslighting and when isn’t it. This is a great podcast episode, you need to be aware of.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where someone uses psychological manipulations to cause another person to question their reality. It can happen between two people in any relationship. Like friendships, working relationships and romantic relationships. The gaslighter preserves their own sense of self and power over the other person who ends up adopting the gaslighter’s version of reality over their own.

The reason why we need to look at this is because it’s important to distinguish gaslighting from normal and healthy behaviours. Like disagreeing and we need to understand when a conflict turns into gaslighting.

When Is it Gaslighting?

Therefore, to understand this harmful behaviour, the easiest scenario to see when something is not gaslighting is something similar to this fictional one below.

Harry and his sister Claire used to spend a lot of time together and every Saturday you would go together, and bring your families along. Then when the pandemic struck they were forced to move their Saturdays together to a few hours on Teams together and they would catch up, play games and have dinner together.

However, when the pandemic eased and the restrictions were relaxed. Harry started going back out, going out on day trips and living life again to the fullest. Yet Claire wasn’t comfortable with that and she doesn’t feel like going out too much. So, the siblings spoke and they don’t agree on where to go for their Saturdays together, because Harry wants to go out-out somewhere nice and Claire wants to stay in.

Resulting in the siblings being judgemental about each other, and each one is calling the other selfish, inconsiderable and horrible. As well as Claire might accuse Harry of not wanting to spend time with her and her family.

Now this isn’t gaslighting because even though both siblings are interpreting the same facts very differently, and they want the other sibling to adopt their perspective. They aren’t causing each other to question their own reality and they aren’t trying to manipulate each other.

However, this could turn into gaslighting if one of the siblings were so insistent on their interpretation that it caused the other one to start doubting themselves. This would create a power imbalance in their relationship that would allow the gaslighter to undermine the victim’s sense of self. As well as the gaslighter’s need for control, the very act of manipulating and leveraging of power of this relationship are essential components in gaslighting.

And hurt feelings and challenging each other’s viewpoints is not gaslighting.

On a personal note, I think it would be rather tragic if those things were gaslighting because it means you could never question other people or challenge their views on anything. I suppose that would also put clinical psychology in a difficult spot considering it’s our job to challenge the client’s maladaptive coping mechanisms, and cognitive processes.

As a result, if we apply this knowledge to our fictional example, if Claire was the sibling who was more powerful and pushed Harry around. Then Harry would be vulnerable to Claire gaslighting him in adulthood. Especially if Harry really does start to believe he is selfish, awful and horrible person by not submitting to Claire’s wishes. Then he might start withdrawing from their relationship.

Again this would result in a gaslight dance if you will, because if Harry ends up being unable to sleep at night at night because he’s wondering if Claire is right and he is selfish. Because he fears she’s right about him not wanting to spend time with her then he’s starting to question his own character and the very integrity of her relationships.

Then gaslighting is very much present.

You Need Two People To Gaslight

Moving onto the last section of the episode, I want to mention that gaslighting happens when there is a power dynamic within a relationship that ends up causing the person being gaslighted to question themselves, along with their sense of reality.

Typically, the gaslighter is constantly manipulating and attack the gaslightee as well as being verbally aggressive towards them.

In addition, the gaslighter is very likely to turn a discussion between the two into a blaming game against the other person. And they will most probably outright lie about what took place just to further their own manipulations because if the gaslighter is so certain about something then it’s easy to make you question if you’re memory or perception is right.

Then it all ends up leaving the victim of the gaslighting to feel worn out, unsure of themselves and wondering if they are crazy like the gaslighter said, and they might even end up avoiding future discussions out of fear of disagreements escalating this already disorienting discussion.

Additionally, the most concerning thing is that over time the victim may even accept the gaslighter’s views of reality as their own. And these are critical defining elements of gaslighting.

However, the most critical to remember when it comes to gaslighting is that it can only work if there are two people taking part in it. The gaslighter and the victim. In other words, gaslighting can only happen if the victim allows it to.

You can keep yourself from ending up in a gaslighting relationship by being aware of the topic and the sort of language used in arguments. As well as how it makes you feel, and noticing how you react to it.

Some helpful phrases that might be helpful to stop you engaging in a verbal loop or power struggle include:

What you said hurt my feelings and I’m too upset at the moment to talk about it,

Let’s agree to disagree,

You’re twisting what I said. Let’s take a break and talk about it later,"

Conclusion

To wrap up this social psychology episode, I must admit that as more and more people use the word gaslighting in our world, we risk its meaning becoming blurred or forgotten. Therefore, it is critical that we clearly understand what it actually means and when something is and isn’t gaslighting. Sometimes you will be involved in disagreements, it’s natural, but sometimes you might meet person who wants to gaslight you.

And that’s when you need to be aware of what’s going on for your own sake, but just remember sometimes a disagreement is simply that. Two people disagreeing and not gaslighting in the slightest.

Social Psychology and Relationship Psychology Reference