The One Minute Therapist: Self-Help That Actually Works for People in a Hurry to Feel Better!

By Marvin Leigh Smith MBA MSW LCSW

Finally, a self-help book that actually helps you conquer your fears; manage your stress, anxiety, and depression; and find the humor in your life's challenges! With this book, you will learn that:
• Mastering the constant fear of not being good enough is possible,
• You have the power within you to change your life,
• Love does not have to be painful, and
• Your world can be as safe as you wish it to be.
With this book, you will learn the answers to questions like:
• Why is it important to allow myself to feel the full spectrum of emotion, and not bury or repress anything I experience?
• How does ignoring or burying my emotions create physical dis-ease in my body?
• How do I be clear in my intentions, and create relationships that fulfill me?
• Why are boundaries in a relationship important, and how do I define them?
• What are the practical steps I can take if I am grieving for a lost loved one?
• How does social media affect the quality of my relationships with family and friends?
• What is the best way to co-parent children after a divorce?
• How do my genetic programming and belief systems affect every part of my life?
You will be reminded of why the most important opportunity we have in life is learning who we are and integrating all aspects of our brain, mind, body, and spirit. It is only through self-reflection harnessing the power of prayer, meditation, visualization, and listening to our own inner voice that we truly begin to grow through our human experience.
If you wish your life to be different, then you have to start thinking and doing things differently. Major changes come when you begin to see your life from a different perspective.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9798765234259

Marvin Leigh Smith MBA MSW LCSW

About The Author Leigh Smith has been fascinated with human behavior his whole life. He is a therapist in private practice, author, songwriter, avid photographer, Viet Nam veteran, 1st degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and certified scuba Dive Master. His forty year career has included a broad range of people-oriented experience in the public, private, and nonprofit sectors. He has produced and co-hosted educational television programs for improving human capabilities through stress management, coping with change, enhancing communication skills, and building self-esteem. He has also conducted corporate and non-profit training workshops nationally and assisted in teaching college level classes in innovation and creativity. Leigh has been an active board member/officer, mentor, and volunteer with various organizations throughout his varied career. He is a graduate of Florida State University with a MBA in Marketing and a MSW in Counseling. Experiencing real progress in developing and enhancing relationships, managing stress, and creating your life the way you want it is an incredibly empowering feeling. It is his belief that this is something we all have the right to enjoy.

Book preview

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The One Minute

Therapist

Self-help that actually works for

people in a hurry to feel better!

Marvin Leigh Smith, MBA, MSW, LCSW

Copyright © 2022 Marvin Leigh Smith, MBA, MSW, LCSW.

Author Photo Credit: Marc Vaughn

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case

of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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844-682-1282

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use

of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical

problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The

intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help

you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use

any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional

right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3424-2 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-3425-9 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 09/13/2022

Contents

INTRODUCTION

IDENTIFYING AND MANAGING STRESS

Emotions Are a Biological Process

Anticipating Our Triggers

Art Expressing Emotion

Body Chemistry

Episodic Stress

Change and the Fear of the Unknown

Emoting Through Writing

I Want What I Want NOW - Make It Faster…Slow It Down

Change – Peeling the Layers of the Onion

Change That Gets Noticed

Releasing Buried Emotions

Why Is Letting Go So Hard?

Saying NO more often

Turning Fear into Exhilaration

Scheduling Yourself to Get Things Done

Stress Expectations – How I Create My Own Stress

Releasing Pain through Visualization

Repressing Emotions to Be Safe

Repressing Feelings Grows a Well of Resentment

Work and Job-Related Frustration

Sleeping and Why It Is Important

Sleep Is a Necessary Refuge

How Different Generations Create Their Own Unique Type of Stress

What Can We Do With The Stress Caused By Planetary Chaos?

LIVING BEYOND GRIEVING AND BEREAVEMENT

Grieving – What You Will Feel

What Is Your Loss History?

When Am I Done Grieving?

Unresolved Emotions and the Loss Experience

Anticipatory Grieving

Recreating Special Events without A Loved One

BELIEFS AND HOW THEY CONTROL US

How Do I Know If Something Is True For Me Or Not?

How My Belief in Lack Limits Me

Creating the Life I Want Rather Than the Life I Have

Bible Beliefs – The Energy behind the Words

Changing Belief Systems Can Affect Your Health

Creating Abundance

How Can I Enjoy More Prosperity?

Complainers

Why Do I Always Feel Like I Am In Survival?

How Can I Be Friends With Someone Who Doesn’t Believe What I Believe?

Breaking the Habit of Lying

Why Would I Resist Having Abundance?

Why Do I Resist Change?

Earning Compound Interest in Your Emotional Growth

MAKING RELATIONSHIPS WORK

What Is Your Love Language and What Is Your Partner’s?

Balancing Your Life

Be Willing To Give What Is Missing In Your Relationship

Balancing Your Schedule

Keeping the Courtship Feeling Alive

Relationships Need To Grow and Change To Survive

Dealing With the Fear of Losing a Relationship

Men and Women Are Different!

Millennials Have Brought a Whole New Lexicon to the Dating Experience

Be Clear About Your Intention in A Relationship

How to Create a Happy Marriage

Keeping the Dream Alive

Getting What HE wants

Sex – Where is the Warm-up?

What Happened to the Erotic Passion?

Relationships Need To Grow and Mature Over Time

Expressing Emotions Neutrally

Adult Timeouts Are Sometimes Necessary

Avoiding Arguments Just Buries Emotions and Builds Resentments

Effective Problem-Solving In a Relationship

Being a Rescuer Can Wear You Out

Signs of Codependency

Setting Boundaries in a Codependent Relationship

Making Perceived Obligations Fun

Why Long-Term Relationships Wither and Die

Stopping the Insanity in Your Communication

Relationships Go From One End of the Spectrum to the Other

Are You Sexually Excitable or Sexually Inhibited?

How Do I Live With A Narcissistic Personality?

Creating Quality Balance in Your Life

How Do My Choices in Life Affect My Relationships?

FINDING YOUR BLISS

Career Choices

Taking That First Step

The Need for a Sense of Purpose in Retirement

Vision Boards and How They Can Help You Create

PARENTING MAGIC

Where Are You On The Evolution Of Parenting?

Teenagers Need To Create Their Own Self-Identity

A Child’s Experience of Quality Time with Mom and Dad

Social Media – The Good, the Bad, and the Really Ugly

Divorce and Its Effect on Children

Co-Parenting After Divorce – What’s in the Child’s Best Interest

INTEGRATING BRAIN, MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT

Creating a Healthy Brain

We Create Our Life through Our Intention

Create Your Day with Intention

Growing Your Awareness as a Spirit Having a Human Experience

Earth Is a Living Organism

Emotional Creativity

Every Day Is a New Creation

Harnessing the Power of Your Chakras

How Do We Change Our Genetic Programming?

Inspiring Yourself Is a Daily Exercise

Connecting With Your Inner Voice

Listening To Your Inner Voice

Know Thyself

What’s A Good Meditation Routine?

How Do My Beliefs Affect My Ability To Meditate?

Magic and What We Can Learn From It

We Have Access to Unlimited Consciousness

Why Is It Important To Love Myself?

Weeds and Why We Need Them

Why People Die In Accidents

Why Is It Important To Teach Others How To Fish?

Art – An Expression of Truth

Being Present in the Moment

Living In A GMO Environment

Realizing Your Intention to Change

Completing Karmic Cycles

Where Is Your Attention?

What Color Is YOUR Hair?

The Power of the Universal Mind

BIBLIOGRAPHY

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

INTRODUCTION

This book is intended to stimulate your conscious thinking and focus your perspective of the world in which you live. It would be an absolute disservice to therapists everywhere to even suggest that therapy can be accomplished in only a minute. However, in a world shrunk by technology, where attention spans are estimated to be only seven seconds, at best, a minute of conscientious self-reflection could actually change your life.

This book was conceived in a dream to act as a resource for people in a hurry. It is also a guide for anyone who wishes to reflect on his or her life and think about new ways of acting and reacting. Topics are in no particular order, but intentional, each with a specific purpose. For those who like spontaneity, just flip to any page and begin reading what your experience for the day may include. For the more methodically minded, use the table of contents to find what may be challenging you today or to add clarity to whatever you may be resisting at the moment.

My hope for you is that you will find something in this book that speaks to you in a personal way, and is helpful in your own emotional and spiritual growth. It is not as important that you agree with what I say. What is important for you to consider is what you ‘feel’ in response to what I say. That is where your real growth will be experienced.

The thousands of clients with whom I have worked were the initial inspiration because there were so many who wanted to learn and grow. That was where I found the most profound moments in therapy. A client would experience a break-through, an epiphany in thinking, conquering an old debilitating fear, and it felt like time stopped. The room would become still, and yet feel expansive in the way that we all recognize truth when we hear it. When the weight of perceived burdens are lifted from one’s shoulders, and breathing becomes inspired, then real change becomes possible.

I have had the incredible honor of witnessing many such examples of people who were searching for their own truth, but didn’t know it was within them

all the time. I simply held up a mirror and showed them how truly powerful they all could be. For that opportunity and experience, I am, and always will be, exceptionally grateful.

IDENTIFYING AND

MANAGING STRESS

Emotions Are a Biological Process

Emotions are a gift given to us so we can experience them, grow in the process, and learn more about who we are choosing to be. Too often, we begin the cycle of experiencing a particular emotion and then stop it mid-stream because it can feel too intense, too scary, too much to handle, or just creates so much discomfort that we don’t want to deal with it. This is repressing our emotions, stuffing them where we don’t have to look at them and figure them out in some meaningful way.

The truth is, emotions are a biological process and there is a beginning, a middle and an end. Unless we allow the experience, particularly as it relates to some fear we are resisting, then we don’t give ourselves the opportunity to transform the negative energy we put into the fear into something more positive. It is only through allowing ourselves to fully experience every emotion we create that we learn from it.

Anticipating Our Triggers

Building your awareness of what can trigger anger or any emotional turmoil is a key to learning how to manage the stress you experience in your life. Increasing your awareness of what you are thinking in every moment of the day takes practice in living in the moment.

If you know, for example, that going home from work you are prone to walk into a verbal free fire zone where something is going to upset you, that is a trigger point and you can prepare yourself for it. If you are going to a family gathering and you know there are family members who will trot out old emotional baggage between you, then you can prepare yourself.

The best strategy, of course, is to avoid everything that you know will trigger you. But, in the real world, that is probably not possible. It is possible, however, to anticipate, mentally prepare, and execute previously successful strategies in managing anxiety. It is always about allowing yourself to feel your emotions, completing the biological cycle that feelings take us through, and transforming the control of that emotion into a future strength.

Art Expressing Emotion

All art is an expression of the artist, whether it is a painting, a photograph, music, dance, making pottery, or sculpting. They are all examples of the emotional state of the artist. The easier representation for most people is listening to a song. The melody sets the tone, whether happy or sad or somewhere in between. The words convey meaning in a way that leads the listener to experience the same state of emotion as the songwriter.

Art is an excellent way to work out our feelings and emotions. It is, in its own way, a very useful therapy tool, which is why it is used effectively with children. Younger children, who have not developed their cognitive ability with words, can be reached very dramatically through coloring or drawing pictures of what they feel. If you ever wonder what your child is thinking, just break out the crayons and color together. You might be amazed at what you can learn about your child.

Coloring has recently become popular with adults and more so with seniors. The focus