A Sensitive Soul: A Practical Guide for Balancing Energy and Emotions

By Deborah Dowling

Do you constantly find yourself at the mercy of your emotions? Do your energy levels fluctuate depending on your environment and what you are experiencing at the time? Are you easily overwhelmed by crowds, loud noises, or by too much of anything? Do you tend to take on the emotions and problems of others as if they were your own? If so, its likely you have a highly sensitive temperament.

In A Sensitive Soul, author Deborah Dowling provides solutions to these challenges, such as:

how to protect yourself from negative influences;
recognizing what drains your energy;
strategies for managing negative thoughts and emotions;
understanding your limits to avoid becoming overwhelmed;
the importance of self-care; and
insight into a range of beneficial therapies.

Armed with this knowledge, you will develop a better understanding of yourself and improve your general well-being on all levels. This will help you to navigate your environment from a place of love and protection rather than fear. As a result, you are free to express your compassionate nature safely and make a positive difference in the lives of others, which the highly sensitive soul is often compelled to do.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: May 18, 2018
• ISBN: 9781504312912

Deborah Dowling

Deborah Dowling is a qualified practitioner in a variety of therapies including massage, aromatherapy, flower essences, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and counselling. She is also a highly sensitive person. Through her personal and professional experience, she has come to believe, that by accepting their true self and caring for their emotional wellbeing, sensitive souls can, in turn, improve their physical health dramatically. Deborah lives with her husband in country Victoria, Australia.

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Copyright © 2018 Deborah Dowling.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The information, ideas, and suggestions in this book are not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Before following any suggestions contained in this book, you should consult your personal physician. Neither the author nor the publisher shall be liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising as a consequence of your use or application of any information or suggestions in this book.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual wellbeing. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people, depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Interior Graphics/Art Credit: www.emofree.com

ISBN: 978-1-5043-1290-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-1291-2 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 05/17/2018

CONTENTS

A Personal Reflection

Part I:   Understanding The Sensitive Soul

1.   Embracing Your Sensitive Soul

2.   Recognising Energy Drains

3.   Getting Grounded

4.   Balancing Your Time

5.  Developing Emotional Resilience

6.   Emotional Awareness

7.   Emotional Contagion

8.   Clearing And Protecting Your Energy Field

9.   Managing Negative Emotions

10. Moods

11. Perseverance

12. The Right Attitude

13. Believe In Yourself

14. Managing Anger

15. Anxiety

16. Depression

17. Fear

18. Forgiveness

19. Embracing Change

20. Letting Go Of Expectations

21. Developing A Strong Sense Of Self

22. Assertiveness

23. Personal Boundaries

24. Personal Relationships

25. The Work Environment

26. The Importance Of Self Care

Part II:   Therapeutic Intervention

1.   Choosing A Therapist

2.   Choosing A Therapy

3.   Counselling

4.   Emotional Freedom Technique

5.   Flower Essence Therapy

6.   Kinesiology

7.   Massage Therapy

8.   Meditation

9.   Reflexology

10. Reiki

11. Yoga

About The Author

Resources

Recommended Reading

To

My

Beautiful Daughters,

For which I am forever grateful

"For all those years you’ve protected the seed.

It’s time to become the beautiful flower."

Stephen C. Paul

A Personal Reflection

I am a sensitive soul! Although I knew I had always been sensitive to heat, light, noise and crowds it was not until I entered the field of natural therapies, nearly 20 years ago, that I became aware of the fact that I was also sensitive to the energies and emotions of other people. My first experience of this, although I was not aware of what was happening at the time, was during massage therapy clinical assessments. I was required to complete a medical history of my clients and then perform massage techniques suitable for them whilst under supervision. My first client had many medical complaints including osteoporosis. I was almost too afraid to touch this particular client for fear of hurting or breaking her. On completing her massage, I found myself feeling ungrounded, totally drained of energy and in need of sleep. I was desperate for some fresh air in an attempt to revitalise myself. I only had a five minute break before I was due to commence treatment on my next client. I did not know how I was going to cope feeling the way that I felt at the time. Although I don’t remember much about my second client, somehow I managed to pass my assessment successfully.

I have since learned that what had occurred is called transference. Unfortunately, this was not covered in my massage training. Transference is the unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another and is a common experience for therapists who work closely with their clients, whether it be on a physical or an emotional level. This occurrence is even more likely to happen to therapists who have a highly sensitive temperament.

Since becoming a qualified massage therapist, I have had many experiences of transference between myself and my clients. Sometimes these exchanges would present themselves to me on an emotional level whereby I would suddenly find myself wanting to cry. Other times I would develop a sudden persistent throat tickle, a nosebleed, a bloated stomach, incur pain and/or a sudden drop in energy. Words did not have to be spoken during treatments for this to happen. Whilst some clients liked to talk, many preferred to tune out and relax. For me, these transferences were by far the most challenging aspect of being a highly sensitive person. At the time I did not understand what was happening to me. I became very frustrated as I was at a loss to know how to stop it from happening. After all, I was the therapist and it was my job to help my clients to feel better, which was difficult as I was feeling lousy myself.

Over the years my sensitivity to the emotions of others eventually permeated into my personal life as well, which made it even more challenging for me. It was like I had become an emotional sponge for all. As a result, my sense of health and wellbeing was continually suffering. I found myself spending more and more time alone so as to avoid people and stressful situations. I was living in constant fear.

I would often struggle to differentiate my emotional issues from those of other people. I had an increasing tendency to suffer from psychosomatic symptoms. I eventually realised that when I wasn’t dealing with my own emotional issues, my body would make me aware that there was something that needed to be addressed by presenting me with a pain or discomfort that had no physical explanation. I have come to believe that this is what happens when we suppress our emotions or don’t deal with our problems. They eventually manifest in our body as physical symptoms. If the cause of our discomfort is emotional, often when we address the problem our discomfort will disappear. This is what is meant by psychosomatic and is very real but, by no means, negates the importance of visiting one’s doctor to eliminate any physical causes to our symptoms.

Eventually, I came to the realisation that through the unconscious emotional exchanges with other people they would trigger similar unresolved issues within myself. This highlighted the importance of dealing with my own personal issues. I found that by processing my own issues through various avenues that I was not so sensitive to the emotions of others and thus was less likely to absorb them. My health and sense of wellbeing improved dramatically as a result.

Consequently, during my years as a therapist, I have studied a number of different strategies and therapies that support stress management and emotional wellbeing. These include and are not limited to Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Flower Essence Therapy and Counselling skills. I have also experienced a number of other treatments such as reiki, reflexology, meditation and yoga at times when I have felt out of balance in some way. By sharing what I have learned, hopefully, you too will find a way to become a more balanced, happy and healthy person who will, in time, view your understanding, compassionate and intuitive nature as a blessing.

PART 1

UNDERSTANDING THE SENSITIVE SOUL

1

EMBRACING YOUR SENSITIVE SOUL

Never apologise for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you have a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.

Brigitte Nicole

You are a unique individual made up of many parts. Your innate sensitivity is an integral part of who you are as a person. You cannot change it. It is part of what makes you you. You can either choose to embrace it or you can choose to resist it. Fighting your sensitive nature will consume much valuable energy and create endless inner conflict for you. It will also lower your self-esteem in the process. When you reject, repress or deny parts of yourself that you dislike or that you view as flawed by refusing to acknowledge them, then you will also lack integrity as a person. That is, you will not be true to yourself which will create constant disharmony within.

It does not matter what others think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself. After all, you’re the one you have to live with 100 percent of the time. Just as you will not like and accept everybody you meet for who they are, other people will not always like and accept you for who you are. It is unrealistic to think that you can please everybody all of the time. Knowing this is important in order for you to accept yourself for who you are. When you resist your sensitivity in order to hide your true self from the world, for fear of rejection or whatever, then it will be more challenging for you to manage. However, when you do choose to acknowledge and accept it as an integral part of who you are, it will be easier for you to manage. Doing so will also help you to experience greater levels of inner peace.

So how did you come to be so sensitive? More likely than not, you were born that way. As to what degree, that will vary between individuals. Some of you will be more sensitive than others. It is possible that the sensitive soul has a higher than usual reactive sympathetic nervous system making you more sensitive than most other people to all forms of environmental stimuli. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for alerting you to any real or perceived danger in order to protect you, whereas the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for calming your nervous system down after the threat has gone, thereby returning you to a state of balance and harmony. Ideally, you will embrace activities that you know will relax your nervous system rather than have it remain in a state of constant arousal. Alternatively, you may have inherited your sensitive nature from your family or you were born with a sensitive soul in order to bring healing, peace, compassion and understanding to the world.

As a child, being sensitive may have been embraced by those around you or it may have been squashed as it was considered unacceptable. If the latter, it will most likely take a little longer for you to embrace being sensitive as an adult. You may also find that your level of sensitivity will increase with age, for whatever reason, as has been my experience. Whether this increase is the result of an accumulation of unresolved emotional baggage, due to a reduction in tolerance or naturally occurs, it is something to be aware of.

So what attributes determine that you are a sensitive soul? If you find yourself identifying with most of the following traits, then you can consider yourself to be a sensitive soul.

Chances are, if you are still reading this book, you have identified with being a sensitive soul. Alternatively, you are a therapist who seeks to understand in order to help your clients, or you know someone close to you that displays these attributes. You may, however, view some of the previous attributes as negative, but on the flip side, there are also many positive qualities that the sensitive soul possesses.

Hopefully, you can now see that you have many positive qualities in which to share with the world; you are not such a flawed person after all. There is nothing wrong with you; you do not need fixing. Just like everybody else, you too, have strengths and weaknesses, perceived or otherwise. And no, you are not perfect, but neither is anybody else. Besides, what you may view as a weakness can always be worked on to lessen its impact on your daily life.

In hindsight, what you may perceive to be a weakness can often turn out to be your greatest strength in disguise. In the overall scheme of things, there could be far worse traits that you could possess. You may at times view being sensitive as a curse. However, your purpose in life is to shine a light on what may sometimes seem like a cruel, dark world by showing compassion and understanding to those who are troubled. Although some aspects of being a sensitive soul may be rather challenging at times, where possible, try and focus on your positive qualities and what you have to offer.

Throughout the following chapters, we will explore various strategies and therapies that may assist you in managing and integrating all aspects of being a sensitive soul. Developing a better understanding of yourself by learning what it means to be sensitive will not only improve your ability to cope but also increase your level of self-acceptance. As energy levels and managing emotions, whether they are yours or others, are the most challenging aspects of being a sensitive soul, they will be the main focus on this particular journey.

2

RECOGNISING ENERGY DRAINS

"May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength