Communicating to Seduce, Involve and Excite in Romantic Relationships
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About this ebook
An invaluable text written by a specialized communication coach intended for all those who wish to perfect their communication skills within the couple, during seduction and maintenance of relationships.
This book represents the result of more than ten years of study and insight into the topic of communication applied to improving romantic relationships.
Table of Contents:
1. COMMUNICATING TO SEDUCE, ENGAGE AND EXCITE IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
Communicate to Seduce, Engage and Excite
Quality of Relationships and Quality of Life
Technology Has Caught Us Unawares
The Boiling Point
Failure is Always Easier
The Responsibility is Only Yours
Communicating is a Real Casino
Being Alone Sucks
You Are A Diamond
It All Depends On How You Communicate
I don't think you'll fuck more (or maybe you will)
The Great Illusion of "Seduction"
What Other Coaches Don't Tell You
Interpreting Communicative Contexts
But I Can't Communicate Well...
The Discomfort of Feeling "Out of Place"
Ever heard of Social Intelligence?
The Story of Philip, Perennially in the Friendship Zone
In Love, the Fugitive Wins?
Always Identify Communicative Objectives
Expectations Are for Children
Everything seems easy at first...
You Create Your Relational Destiny
Feeling Inadequate? Maybe You're Missing A Block
The "Can Do" and the "Nerd".
No Opportunities? Create them, Don't Make Excuses Anymore
Making Love With the Mind Before the Body
Don't Be Afraid of Making a Fool of Yourself
You Have Your Whole Life To Improve
Prince Charming Doesn't Exist ... and The Princess is Bipolar
I Have Bad News: You Are Never Yourself
But it's the shyness that gets me...
2.INSIGHTS
The 6 things you CANNOT control in a relationship
Is Love A Choice?
How to Overcome Unrequited Love
Communication - or Quality or Silence
The Importance of Recognizing Emotions
Always be respected, even in Chat
Manage Emotions, Don't Bury Them!
Learning to Say No, Feelings of Guilt and Self-Image
Love in the Time of Tinder - Superficiality, Idealization, Immaturity and Self-Image
What are the 5 wounds of the inner child within us?
How to Win an Argument (Without Making a Slaughter)
Dangerous Consequences of Communicating Emotions Quietly
Possessiveness, Being Sexy and Insecurity
Use Style and Sensitivity to Stand Out from the Competition
Being Sensitive is a 'Plus' (which must be managed well)
You have to Give Authentic Emotions to Receive Quality Emotions
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Communicating to Seduce, Involve and Excite in Romantic Relationships - Emanuele M. Barboni Dalla Costa
Emanuele M. Barboni Dalla Costa
Communicating to Seduce, Involve and Excite in Romantic Relationships
Copyright © 2022 by Emanuele M. Barboni Dalla Costa
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.
Emanuele M. Barboni Dalla Costa has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or third-party Internet Websites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on such Websites is, or will remain, accurate or appropriate.
First edition
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Contents
Synopsis
1. Communicate to Seduce, Engage and Excite
2. Quality of Relationships and Quality of Life
3. Technology Has Caught Us Unawares
4. The Boiling Point
5. Failure is Always Easier
6. The Responsibility is Only Yours
7. Communicating is a Real Casino
8. Being Alone Sucks
9. You Are A Diamond
10. It All Depends On How You Communicate
11. I don't think you'll fuck more (or maybe you will)
12. The Great Illusion of Seduction
13. What Other Coaches Don't Tell You
14. Interpreting Communicative Contexts
15. But I Can't Communicate Well...
16. The Discomfort of Feeling Out of Place
17. Ever heard of Social Intelligence?
18. The Story of Philip, Perennially in the Friendship Zone
19. In Love, the Fugitive Wins?
20. Always Identify Communicative Objectives
21. Expectations Are for Children
22. Everything seems easy at first...
23. You Create Your Relational Destiny
24. Feeling Inadequate? Maybe You’re Missing A Block
25. The Can Do
and the Nerd
.
26. No Opportunities? Create them, Don't Make Excuses Anymore
27. Making Love With the Mind Before the Body
28. Don't Be Afraid of Making a Fool of Yourself
29. You Have Your Whole Life To Improve
30. Prince Charming Doesn't Exist ... and The Princess is Bipolar
31. I Have Bad News: You Are Never Yourself
32. But it's the shyness that gets me...
33. INSIGHTS
34. The 6 things you CANNOT control in a relationship
35. Is Love A Choice?
36. How to Overcome Unrequited Love
37. Communication - or Quality or Silence
38. The Importance of Recognizing Emotions
39. Always be respected, even in Chat
40. Manage Emotions, Don’t Bury Them!
41. Learning to Say No, Feelings of Guilt and Self-Image
42. Love in the Time of Tinder - Superficiality, Idealization, Immaturity and Self-Image
43. What are the 5 wounds of the inner child within us?
44. How to Win an Argument (Without Making a Slaughter)
45. Dangerous Consequences of Communicating Emotions Quietly
46. Possessiveness, Being Sexy and Insecurity
47. Use Style and Sensitivity to Stand Out from the Competition
48. Being Sensitive is a ‘Plus’ (which must be managed well)
49. You have to Give Authentic Emotions to Receive Quality Emotions
Acknowledgements
The Author
Synopsis
An invaluable text written by a specialized communication coach intended for all those who wish to perfect their communication skills within the couple, during seduction and maintenance of relationships.
This book represents the result of more than ten years of study and insight into the topic of communication applied to improving romantic relationships.
1
Communicate to Seduce, Engage and Excite
2
Quality of Relationships and Quality of Life
The quality of our lives is directly proportional to the quality of our relationships.
How I love this sentence!
In reality, it’s a concept that is as simple as it is incisive: if our relationships go well, if we understand each other with colleagues, family, friends and partners, our lives take a turn for the better. We feel better. We live with more serenity. I challenge anyone to say otherwise!
Of course, life is not all about relationships. There are also other important things: work, money, health, our basic and psychological needs (see Maslov’s The Pyramid of Needs
), our hobbies and our need, sometimes, to be alone for some time.
If you think about it though, at the end of the day, everything is about relationships. In every area of your life you will have to deal, whether you like it or not, with other people. There are those who have a greater propensity for social relations, and those who have less. But the human being cannot do without a daily relationship with others.
(Sure, if you wanted to, you could turn into Buddhist monks or retire to private life in a little house in the woods, but that doesn’t seem like such a bright idea today. Or maybe it is. Who knows!)
I believe that the necessary condition for appreciating being with others is in fact solitude. That’s right, never forget that. More on that later.
The necessary condition for appreciating being with others is solitude.
Just as you need total darkness to see the brightness of the stars, to fully enjoy a relationship you need to understand, embrace and recognize the value of solitude.
Believe it or not, this is the missing step in almost every relationship I’ve had the opportunity to analyze in my private and professional spheres. The result is always the same: those who know how to be alone manage to be well with others. He manages to exude confidence, in many cases leadership. They are able to enjoy their relationships more intensely because they recognize their profound value.
But how many times have I noticed how people are not able to stay, to give an example, even a few weeks alone. And if it is true that the quality of the relationships we weave is directly proportional to the overall quality of our lives, well, maybe we should do a thread of self-analysis to realize if the first, most important relationship, the one with ourselves, is in good health.
There is a mechanism, as strange as it is observable, that makes us bond to people by creating a sort of dependence
on others. In my opinion, this is a very sneaky mechanism, but in terms of psychological economy it makes perfect sense. Let’s talk about emotional dependence.
We need to ask ourselves whether we are dependent or independent of others, and to what extent we are.
Far be it from me to lecture on psychology. I am not a psychologist and never will be. What I can simply do is observe with a critical eye the behaviors and the way of communicating of those who, as mentioned, are unable to be alone. Observe how this inability leads to a type of communication that is needy, overbearing and in constant search of connection. Why does this happen? I think the reason is there for all to see. Because we are afraid to be alone. And because our insecurity is constantly seeking validation in others. Put another way: we only feel complete when we are pampered by the presence of the other. And it doesn’t matter if that other is not the right person, is violent or rude. The important thing, the key to survival is not to be alone.
I am firmly convinced that even from a romantic point of view we human beings are made to live a life as a couple. I pause for a moment to wonder if the search for this well-being, this validation is real or just invented. If we are lying to ourselves in order not to be alone or if the relationship we have established is really satisfying. These are complex and difficult questions to digest. But it is legitimate to ask: why am I with this person?
I know this may seem counter intuitive to you. We’ve just stated that everything is relationship, that being with others is our primary need, and that we are to some extent connected to those around us. Well, that is the primary concept. There is one, however, that we can say is secondary. Not secondary in the sense that it is less important, but in the sense that it looks at the phenomenon of relationships from a different perspective. A qualitative perspective.
What is the quality of your relationships?
While it is true that we cannot exempt ourselves from relating,