To Be Loved - an Ms Story

By Robert L. Sterling

Providing an open wings span of kindness to everyone, TO BE LOVED.
Encouraging individuals, families, and friends to understand a DISABLING DIAGNOSIS or INJURY isn't the end of happiness, love, and achievement.
DAMARA'S WINGS! "To Be Loved in their story."
The most significant impact on my life occurred twice. Once when my firstborn child, my daughter, came into my life. And secondly, she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in her adult years, and I learned of my innate capability to be her Care Provider. The dependent life she came to know prepped me for the most extraordinary task I could ever imagine would come to me. I found a more profound awareness of caring abilities and compassion within myself, I can only attribute To Be Loved.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781664142909

Book preview

Chapter 1

Life and More

O kay, baby, just wait here in the room while I go downstairs to do the laundry and iron Cervando’s school clothes for the day and the clothes I will wear to work. It will not take long. I will be right back. Okay?

Wanting to ease their minds on the current situation, Trebor knew it would not be easy. Yet, he presented a positive attitude to assure his children that he would find a way to get them comfortably into another place soon. His heart is burdened and heavy, thinking of and considering the disorder and position he was in, improvising provision and care for his daughter Tamara and her son, his grandson, Cervando.

The firstborn of Trebor’s three children, Tamara, twenty-eight years of age. She is a lovely woman and a single parent to Cervando, her five-year-old son. Tamara is an attractive young African American lady who is flirty, fun-loving, and very giggly, explaining her early pregnancy. Her brown eyes, always appearing cheerful in the light of day, reflect her loving kindness that is always present. Flawlessly, her face has rich eyebrows brushed perfectly with an artist’s brush strokes upon a canvas or frame. Three little beauty marks, triangular in design, much like a pyramid—one centered stunning at the bridge of her nose and another on each side and below each of her eyes—are alluring. Her hair is black in color, rich, silky, and full. Unblemished chocolate brown skin Asante, five feet nine inches tall, Tamara is an attractive woman of color. Nothing can overshadow the morning glory and God’s gift from heaven; she is to Trebor.

Okay, daddy. We’ll be fine, Tamara said with a smile. Cervando lay still on the bed, absorbed mentally in the cartoons on television, and did not seem to know his grandfather was leaving the room.

Leaving the room, then looking back over his shoulder, he took a quick glance at his family. He smiled and said, I love you guys. Giving them a feeling of assurance.

Shutting the door behind him, Trebor quickly walked away toward the stairs with tears running down his face.

At fifty-two years young, six feet two inches in height, he is lean and slender but muscular, just enough to reveal the ability to pack a punch—attributed to his boxing career in college before going into the military. Contrary to the rough edges suggesting he has labored in construction or similar types of employment, his keen skills and livelihood have been administrative in nature throughout the years; thus, his manicured fingernails and soft hands are unlike the hard and rough hands associated with the hard-hat manly man. Having a semi-dark coffee complexion and clean-shaven, his fashionable texturized haircut accentuates his well-groomed appearance. One of six brothers and a sister raised lovingly yet firm by old-fashioned parents, Trebor conceded the spiritual guidance he received day in and out from his father, a devout clergyman, and his mother, an endless prayer warrior. His parents provided him and his siblings with a better understanding of life, which would comfort them daily. Trebor remembered a particular moment his mother sat all of her children down together to inform them about the storms of life that are sure to come and instructed them to anchor and wait on the Lord because He will provide a way; or when nothing makes sense and troubles rise, to take their eyes off of their difficulties and look to God. The directions and instructions given concerning lack, worry, and distress remained in Trebor’s spirit.

How could this happen? He asked himself. His daughter and grandson without a home. Trebor walked down the stairs headed toward the laundry room, thinking of how Tamara and Cervando waited for him to arrive and pick them up and rescue them from this unforeseen dread. As he drove up, it broke his heart, seeing them sitting with a few bags of luggage, appearing homeless and without a friend in the world.

Puzzled, this occurrence even actually happened. The display of insensitivity is unbelievable. Tamara is without a hint of evil, guilt of addiction, or criminal history; also, her rent is paid in full. He believed she should not have experienced this kind of treatment. What could cause a property owner to take such action against an innocent, young, naive woman? A child that could not do any harm to anyone. Man, it just doesn’t make any sense, he angrily said aloud. Trebor’s heart fell, just thinking of his grandson, Cervando, having to adjust to life challenges at such a tender age. Life has been stressful at times and had resounding effects on his heart. To nurture and raise his children was like swimming upstream, heartbreakingly without another to care. With reason’s uncaringly resulting from a broken relationship, now it appears another test of his love has come. The Lord created and blessed him with a way of supplying love and care for his beautiful child.

Helpless and disabled, his child will never find herself alone, without her father’s love and moral conscience. Placing their belongings into his car, Trebor tried his best not to look in the direction of the property his children once lived in. Agonizingly, he helped his daughter first to her feet. Her concentration made her walk slowly and carefully. It was very noticeable that Tamara had trouble walking. She had MS, which can cause muscle weakness and spasms, balance problems, numb feet, and all of which can make walking difficult. Keeping his mind on this unexpected move and getting his children somewhere, anywhere far from where they were, weighed heavily on his heart. He did not have an immediate proper residence for them. His dwelling is too small, and he had a roommate. Feeling fiercely upset, he was not readily prepared to receive his children into his own place, especially not to mention how his child and grandchild were being treated. This caused him to cry openly.

For Tamara, conflict is not good. It could put Tamara over the edge. Because she genuinely cannot take care of herself, a care provider could only give her the necessary help needed. Like a little bird who needed to be pushed out of the nest so that she could learn to fly, his child will not know of this experience.

A light morning breeze chilled the air, greeting Trebor as he exited the building. Outdoors the area was quiet. Trebor is not surprised, believing it is customary at an early hour and most everyone is sleeping. Glancing over the area, Trebor concluded that out of desperation to house his children and a need to be close to his employment place, he chose the Edbea Inn Hotel. Upon their arrival, the area was clean and the establishment comfortable, with a large vehicle parking lot available. This impressed him, believing he had found the right temporary place to stay.

Shortly after settling in and taking a closer look at their temporary home, Trebor realized the Edbea Inn Hotel did not strike him as the family atmosphere he had hoped for. Trebor soon became aware that the large parking lot was primarily occupied by buses and eighteen-wheeler trucks. Discomfort set into his heart, knowing he was subjecting his children to live daily in such an environment. The hotel’s dollar value of the hotel was a plus but living in shabbiness with neighboring truckers and rootless tenants were minus and left much desired.

Entering the laundry room and placing the iron with the clothes on a countertop, Trebor reached for the ironing board to begin pressing shirts and pants for himself and Cervando to wear. Positioning and spreading out the pants legs by lining up the seams, he lifted one leg, sprayed an excellent part of starch up and down the leg, then quickly began to iron. This went on for a considerable amount of time, alternating between his clothes and Cervando’s until he finished in what he would like to think of as record timing. To avoid Cervando being late to school or late to work, punctuality and multitasking were vital.

After quickly moving about, Trebor had finished and now must get back to the room to shower and dress Cervando for school. Wanting to be quick in getting everything in order, Trebor thought about knocking out two birds with one stone. Well-being and honorable intention, he figured he and little Cervando would shower together and make it fun by having a race to see who would finish first and win a prize. At the same time, he thanked God for morals and decency of mind. Trebor understood his grandchild was a little five-year-old in his care who must be given clear awareness that the activity his granddaddy suggested was not usually done and will not be done by him or any other individual again.

Trebor returned everything to its original place and collected the clothing and his keys. He took one more glance to make sure he did not forget anything in his haste. Shutting and securing the laundry room door behind him, he hurried to the stairway, skipping every other step to his own surprise at his ability and agility. He finally reached the room and knocked on the door because his hands were full, holding an iron, spray starch, and two clothes hangers of ironed clothing.

Speaking just loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door, Trebor called out, Open up, guys. It’s me, Daddy.

Tamara was near the door and slowly made her way as best she could.

With her eyes sparkling brightly and the big smile she wore so well, she spoke sweetly to her father entering the door. Hey, the best dad in the world. It did not take you long, I see. I’m so glad you’re back.

Responding cheerfully, Trebor said, Nope, didn’t want to leave you two alone by yourselves. Have to watch out for my babies, you know.

Continuing his advance toward a table, he set down the items he held in his hands and placed the clothes neatly on the chair next to the table. Just then, an abrupt feeling of caution came over him. What seemed like only a few seconds had passed; Trebor could see the time had swiftly passed during his last preparations.

Come on, Cervando. It’s time for us to get into the shower and get ready for school and work.

Cervando jumped up quickly and ran to the restroom. He tried to start the shower before Trebor could reach the room.

Hold on, son. I will get the water temperature right before we get in.

Cervando was Tamara’s only child and was lovable as the day was long. Five years old, full of energy, and mischievous like most vibrant and healthy children are at his age. Possessing the dreamiest eyes, a young man-child should ever claim. Lips symmetrically striking in shape, which resembled his grandmother’s, lips that Trebor remembered so well. His grandmother’s lips were lovely, beautiful, illustrious, impressive, shapely, and slightly desirable for kissing. Trebor wanted nothing more than his little man to grow up to become a strong, healthy, respectful man. Cervando’s physique resembled a healthy and physically trained miniature athlete. Though he’s a little child, he was gifted with slight definition. Trebor simply saw his grandson may be in good physical shape as he developed and matured in life. Taking his mother’s pleasant characteristics and features, he was a good-looking kid, sporting a head full of healthy black hair with a smile that resembled his mom’s. He was short and has a slightly developed miniature muscular physique, set well with his little compact features.

Trebor’s relationship with his grandson was everything he hoped it could be. The same love he had for his daughter was extended to Cervando with immense joy in being his grandfather. Trebor’s mother and father migrated from Louisiana to California just before his birth. He never had the opportunity to know his own grandparents and experience life as a grandchild. This factor is why Trebor swore he would be the best grandfather when and if that day ever came. Their loving relationship chose to name G-daddy for grandfather and G-baby, the grandson to the ring of a loving personal bond. Trebor never imagined anyone in his family suffering from complications related to a disability, thus directly affecting a child’s life. Although primarily focusing on the challenges his daughter may suffer, he promised there would never be a lack of care for his grandson’s life either.

Aw, come on, G-daddy. I can do it. You’re too slow, like an old man. Cervando laughed and tried once again to maneuver the hot and cold faucet.

Trebor eased past Cervando to get to the water running into the bathtub and firmly instructed him to remove his pajamas before he got them wet. Placing his hand under the faucet’s rushing water, he found the temperature was much too cold to think about getting in. After a quick adjustment of the water from cold to warm, it was time to bathe. Trebor told his grandson, Okay, this is what we will do, and you will see you are the one that is slow, little guy.

Cervando laughed and punched his grandfather playfully on the thigh. Who are you calling slow, Grandpa? I can beat you.

Aw, no, you can’t, Mr. So Slow Cervando, Trebor playfully responded. Just look at you still trying to take your pajamas off.

Before he could get another word out, Cervando hurried out of his pajama pants, jumped into the shower, and started teasing his grandfather.

Yeah, G-daddy. Look who’s outside the water now, old man. Cervando’s enthusiasm to win the contest between him and his grandfather allowed Trebor to feel he achieved his multitasking purpose to make a speedy headway.

I got your ‘old man,’ fella, Trebor replied. Hey, move over and let me get this party started.

Trebor believed adding a little song to their washing would be fun, and he began to sing the first thing that came to his mind.

Oh happy day, oh happy day, oh happy day when Jesus washed, when Jesus washed, oh when . . .

Unexpectedly Cervando breaks in with, Sunday, Monday, happy days, Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days, Thursday, Friday, happy days . . .

Trebor laughed at Cervando’s ingenious connection of the two songs and said, Hey, you, what are you doing with my song?

Cervando giggled, saying, I like that song better, G-daddy. Besides, it’s a better happy song than yours.

Trebor agreed with him and knew that continuing the contest would be an effective way to keep Cervando’s mind actively involved in the scheme of fun. So without hesitation, he teasingly disagreed and said, No, it’s not. My song is better. Listen to it again, and watch how good it sounds. As he lathered up the bath cloth for Cervando, he started singing again. Oh happy day, oh happy day, when . . . Quickly Cervando began to singing again, Sunday, Monday, happy days, Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days . . . on cue as expected and a little louder with a little dance. He displayed a big grin on his face, clearly trying to poke fun at Trebor.

Okay, okay, Trebor laughed. You got yours, and I have mine. Still washing their bodies and trying to keep Cervando’s mind engaged with fun, he suggested that they sing both songs simultaneously to see how it would sound. Sunday, Monday, happy days . . . Cervando began singing without hesitation. Trebor followed with, Oh happy day, oh hap—

Just as quick and perfectly planned with precision timing, interrupting the singing competition as well as being thoroughly bathed, Cervando yelled out, I’m finished. Time to get out.

Trebor responded with the swiftness of an alert grandparent to the child, Wait, you still have soap on you. Get back in here and rinse off before you get out again, little man.

Stepping further back to allow his little guy to reenter the shower spray, Trebor watched as he turned around a couple of times in haste to rinse off. Just as quickly as he reentered the shower, he swiftly pulled the shower curtain back and made his exit.

Hey! You are going to get water all over the floor. Cervando simply ignored his grandfather’s warning and continued getting out, grabbing his Tweety bird dry towel, and dancing about while drying his body off.

Trebor followed and grabbed his dry towel off the holder. Cervando suddenly teased, saying, See, I told you I am faster than you, old man. I’m finished.

Pretending to be a poor sport, Trebor said, Get on out of here, cheater, and don’t forget to put lotion on your body.

Cervando exited the shower and dashed toward the central living area. He jumped onto the bed to assume his previous spot and resumed watching cartoons. Remembering his grandfather instructed him to lotion himself, he reached without taking his eyes away from the TV, grasped the bottle, and squeezed a little cream into his small hands. He spread the smooth liquid all over his tiny body.

Time still of extreme importance, Trebor continued to hurry. He placed his drying towel in the dirty clothes hamper then quickly applied skin moisturizer to his body. He began dressing and preparing for Cervando’s departure to school and to his work.

I want you to stop watching TV and put your clothes on right now, Trebor yelled with a robust and firm voice. Cervando moved and took hold of his clothes, putting them on with racing speed, then went right back to his spot on the bed to watch television again.

Man, get your little butt up, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and put your shoes on. Don’t make me have to dress you because punishment comes along with that, you know.

Becoming a chameleon, instantly changing from coordinating and agitation to calm, affectionate, and caring, Trebor turned to Tamara, saying, Tammi, I’ve made some coffee, baby. Would you like a cup now?

Yes, Daddy, please, Tamara answered.

Trebor knew that what Tamara enjoyed most was a nice cup of hot coffee with three sugars and cream or a white chocolate mocha coffee from Starbucks. He was happy he was in tune with her desires and taste. Trebor was aware that knowing Tamara’s wishes and desires may be small and just one basis in tailoring his life to love and support her, yet he also knew it was only the beginning of a brand-new, exhilarating world of the unknown for them.

Here you go, sweetheart, he said as he placed the cup of coffee on the table. Aware of Tamara’s diminishing motor skills, which caused clumsiness or lack of coordination, he knew it would be a wrong move to put the coffee cup into her hand only to see it spill.

Thanks, Dad. I love you, she chimed, repositioning herself to pick up the cup carefully and begin drinking what apparently was a delight and a treat by the look on her face. Because of the joyful expression shown in her smile and the glow in her eyes, Trebor always knew when she was grateful for the help and the pleasing items received.

Trebor gazed at his wristwatch, seeing it is 6:45 a.m., and reasoned it was time to get going. Let’s hit it, Li’l G. I have to get you to school on time, and I have to go to work too.

Okay, I’m ready, G-daddy, and I have my lunch too.

Purposefully, Trebor showed his smile and responded happily, saying, Way to go, son. I am proud of you, babe.

Cervando walked out of the room with a little promenade, singing the theme song of Happy Days, then suddenly turned around and darted past Trebor. Having no idea what made him decide to make such a quick move, he waited and watched him as he reentered the room to return and kiss his mother.

With a kiss and a hug, Cervando said, See you later, Momma.

Okay, honey, she replied. I love you, baby.

Love you more, Mommy, he smiled, kissed her again, and turned to walk away.

Gag, Trebor smiled and voiced loud enough for them to hear.

You just jealous, old man, Cervando said, happily running past his grandfather and down the stairs to their car. From the balcony, Trebor used an electronic door opener to unlock the bronze Eldorado Biarritz Cadillac, allowing Cervando to enter. Then turning once again to embrace and kiss his daughter, he said, I’ll be coming back to check on you on my lunch break, honey. There are snacks in the refrigerator until then.

Okay, Tamara answered, keeping her focus on the cup of coffee she had to her mouth, trying to keep it steady without spilling. Trebor kissed her on her cheek once more, turned to walk away, then heard her say, Be careful out there, Daddy.

He replied, Thanks. I will, baby girl.

There was no traffic congestion, To Trebor’s surprise, and the distance was short, to the school his grandson attended. Riding down the freeway, Cervando sang along with the music on the radio, but as soon as they arrived at the school, Cervando rushed out before his grandfather could say anything, eagerly joining the other children gathered playing. Watching his grandson play set his mind at ease, seeing him happy with other children.

The school bell rang soon after their arrival, and the children begin their approach to their designated classrooms. Trebor took the time to walk with Cervando to his class.

Standing at the classroom door, greeting each student entering, Ms. Henry, the second-grade teacher, spoke to Cervando.

Good morning, Cervando. How are you today?

I’m good, he replied in his polite little voice. Taking his grandfather’s hand, he said, Bye-bye, G-daddy. See you after school.

Trebor bent down, hugged Cervando, and said, For sure, little guy. Please be good today.

Eager to join in with the rest of the children, Cervando hurried