Both Naked … and Were Not Ashamed: Second Edition

By J. O. A. Adeniyi

Have you ever noticed how a little child can run naked through a room full of strangers without embarrassment? He/she is not aware of his/her nakedness, just as Adam and Eve were not embarrassed in their innocence. But, after Adam and Eve sinned, embarrassment, shame, and awkwardness followed, creating barriers between themselves and God.

We often experience these same barriers in marriage. Ideally, husband and wife have no barriers, feeling no shame exposing themselves to each other and God. The moment there is a sin to hide; we put on fig leaves (barriers) because we have areas we do not want our spouse, or God, to know about. Then we hide, just as Adam and Eve hid from God.

In marriage, lack of spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy usually precedes a breakdown of physical intimacy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Sep 23, 2020
• ISBN: 9781665580045

J. O. A. Adeniyi

Jesse Olu Adeife Adeniyi is an Assistant Province Pastor in the Redeemed Christian Church of God, United Kingdom. He is happily married, a father and grand father. He is a family and marriage counsellor. Other publishedbooks: 1. Sexual Sins 2. Family Virtue 3. Effective Leadership

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Copyright © 2020 J. O. A. ADENIYI. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/14/2020

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8005-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8006-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8004-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from The Holy Bible, King James Version. Public Domain

Marriage is the only institution of learning where you are

certificated before training, and graduation is at eternity.

Acknowledgements

I give all glory to my heavenly Father for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding in publishing this book, for with Him there is joy, and at His right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

I graciously thank my wife, Pastor Betty Onayoma Adeniyi (Sweet Mama), a virtuous woman and friend. I thank my mentors, Pastor S. ‘Biyi Owolabi of blessed memory and Pastor J. T. Kalejaiye (SPECIAL ASSITANT TO GENERAL OVERSEER), for their continued spiritual guidance and unflinching moral and financial support.

I acknowledge the kind permission of Pastor Agu Irukwu (SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO GENERAL OVERSEER) for permission to use some of the teaching materials of Pastor Ify Irukwu of blessed memory to spice this second edition.

I am most grateful to my father in the Lord, Pastor E. A. Adeboye, for his teachings and humility in leadership. May God comfort your heart, enlarge your coast, and establish you in every good word and work in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1   What Is Marriage?

Chapter 2   The Biblical Concept of Marriage

Chapter 3   Whom Must a Christian Marry?

Chapter 4   Meeting, Friendship, Love, and Courtship

Chapter 5   When to Consider Marriage

Chapter 6   Introduction and Engagement

Chapter 7   The Wedding

Chapter 8   A Home Is Born

Chapter 9   Making a Happy Home and a Successful Marriage

Chapter 10   Owner’s Manual

Chapter 11   Effective Communication and Conflict Management

Chapter 12   Divorce and Remarriage

Chapter 13   Adultery in Marriage

Chapter 14   Polygamy

Chapter 15   Parenting

Chapter 16   Questions and Answers

Foreword

I consider it a privilege to write this foreword.

This is not just another book in the market. It is divine illumination for man’s succour and encouragement in marriage. As we may all know, marriage is a parcel which, when a man receives it, he does not know the contents, and he must not open it until he gets home. When he gets home and opens it, whatever he finds therein belongs to him; he cannot return it.

I therefore recommend this book to church leaders, teachers, counsellors, the married, and the unmarried.

Your marriage shall be a blessing.

I pray as you read this anointed book, every yoke in your marriage, ministry, and business shall be destroyed in the name of Jesus Christ.

Remain rapturable in Jesus Christ’s name. Amen.

Pastor J.T. Kalejaiye

REDEEMED CHRISTIAN CCHURCH OF GOD, SPECIAL ASSISTANT TO GENERAL OVERSEER- Evangelism

Introduction

Both naked … and were not ashamed Genesis 2:25

Have you ever noticed how a little child can run naked through a room full of strangers without embarrassment? He or she is not aware of his or her nakedness, just as Adam and Eve were not embarrassed in their innocence. However, after Adam and Eve sinned, embarrassment, shame, and awkwardness followed, creating barriers between them and God.

We often experience these same barriers in marriage. Ideally, husband and wife have no barriers and feel no shame exposing themselves to each other and God. The moment there is a sin to hide; we put on fig leaves (barriers) because we have areas we do not want our spouses or God to know about. We hide just as Adam and Eve hid from God.

In marriage, lack of spiritual, emotional, and intellectual intimacy usually precedes a breakdown of physical intimacy.

Today, the devil has intensified his attack on marriage, which makes people think marriage is old-fashioned, unnecessary, and boring. One can get into it when it is convenient and divorce when it is no longer convenient. Some people have gone to the extreme of entering into civil partnerships of man with man and woman with woman. Even some who get married do so for wrong reasons or selfish ends. Some regard marriage as a means of raising children and satisfying sexual need; some marry for beauty, which is only skin-deep.

The bottom line is that the majority of people are ignorant of God’s intention when He instituted marriage.

Marriage, the most complicated of human relationships, cannot flourish without effective communication. Couples hoping to establish an enriching marriage often lack the needed relational skills and end up living parallel lives in a marriage without intimacy. Proximity without intimacy is inevitably destructive. When communication is blocked, love’s energy turns to resentment, hostility, frequent bickering, withering sarcasm, repetitious criticism, or an icy retreat into silence and sexual unresponsiveness. As a result, the family tends to live in psychological slum, not a home.

Chapter 1

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What Is Marriage?

Marriage is an institution established by God, joining two people of opposite sexes in a relationship approved for conjugal (sexual) practice leading to procreation. It is an institution that God expects us to hold not with levity, nonchalance, or a rebellious attitude.

Marriage is the oldest institution, older than the church or any human government. Marriage has been adulterated, bastardised, and wilfully distorted by modern society and its agencies. Satan has constantly attacked it. Therefore, there is distinction between the way God made it and the approach humankind gives it. This means there could be marriage as the world wants it and marriage as the Lord gives it.

From the beginning, God did not create two women for Adam. Therefore, God’s perfect will is one man, one wife. After the fall, described in Genesis chapter 3, the devil deceived humanity and caused us to rebel against God’s policy on monogamy.

Lamech was the first polygamist on earth: Then Lamech took for himself two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the second was Zillah (Genesis:19). David took eight or more wives (1 Chronicles 3:1–8, 14:3).

Solomon broke the record by having seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. From the nations of whom the Lord had said to the children of Israel, You shall not intermarry with them nor them with you, and surely they will turn away your hearts after their gods. Solomon clung to these in love. And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart" (1 Kings 11: 2–8). It does not really matter how many wives—it all amounts to disobedience and a breach of God’s original plan. Christians should not operate under this sin of disobedience and rebellion.

Human concepts of marriage are often a result