An Open Diary of My Life: Finding My Inner Peace

By Brenda Marrie Cole

Not ashamed of my struggles, not embarrassed of my mistakesI stand up to my downfalls and let my tears bring out my pain. There are no secrets to this face. I worked on different projects with every task of my day. This is an open diary, as I push the pen to tell my story as I allow the world to see my view. I am holding your hand as you walk in my shoes. This is no accident, with me spilling nothing but truth. Some things are hard to believe due to me living so quietly for so long, only giving paper my inner deepest thoughts. Youve known me only through the pages of my books and now wondering how my life looks. It isnt a mystery no more. No more of the selfish me, no more cant find my peace! I am opening up this diary so I can be free!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Nov 28, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524556532

Brenda Marrie Cole

This book is about different experiences during my life. Friends that stuck by me and friends I've lost along the way. Confessions and secrets of things I've secretly done. Random thoughts, diary thoughts and journal notes that I've exposed. Prayers for family and friends. Me opening up spiritually. Memories of lost loved ones may they rest in peace. This book has a lot of emotion in it and things I had strong emotions over and wrote to get some understanding of my thoughts. Poetry got me through.

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Brenda Marrie Cole. 743352

ISBN:   Softcover   978-1-5245-5654-9

   EBook      978-1-5245-5653-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 11/28/2016

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Contents

Open Diary

Accessory

Another One Of Those Days

Wonder why?

Aunt I’m Me… Part 2

First Love…….

Bring the rain….

Blue Dreams…..

Cold sweats….part 1

Curveball

Davasting Thoughts……

Dear…..

Dear Love,

Diary Notes:

For you…..

Funny how things change……(part 1)

Mother……

Ghetto……

God Daughter Jas

Happy birthday #33

Holla at me……

I got it……

I’m Praying……

Last Chance

Let Me Explain……

Let Me Know……

Logical

Mercy

Motherly Love

My Best Friend

Nobody’s Advice

One Thread of Hope……

Princess……

Save me……

Regardless Part 2

Selfishly Knew……

Stranger Trust……

Terrifying Experience……

Losing Love

Toxic Oil Spill……

Trapped Heart……

Trifling…………

Visual Expressions

wall decal

Washed Up Emotions……

Wild Lyfe……

Dedication

I would first like to dedicate this book to God, for blessing me with such a talent and using me as a vessel to help others who have been thru or going thru the same obstacles in life. I’m honored to have so much support and to still be learning the ropes of being an author. I want to dedicate this book to my mother Brenda D. Cole and my father Tyrone C. Nelson may he rest in peace. My two daughters Alexis L. Stewart and Merseana A. Smith. Thankful for the support of my siblings Willette, Tyrone, Jerome, Darryl, William, Cynthia, Tyrice and Shyrice. Alesha Barbour and the whole CEG family. My club family Ladi Lanore,Oozhee, Angie and s.w. Tracey. My best friends Essence Thomas, James Masterson, Rameika Scarborough, & Shereese Williams. Y’all hold me down like no other. Rest In Peace Avis Allen, Alexis Dash, Ted Allen, James Burch, Carrie Cole, Tyrone Nelson, Grandma Susie, Uncle Skeeter and Uncle Bean. My current school Turner Elm. And Security Assurance Management, inc. The Jeter’s Ashley & Tameka, My God Kid’s Jasmine, Randi, & Demi. Yolanda Whitner, Vivion Williams, Brandon & Moe. Tiffany and Linda. Mara Jordan, Tyanna Williams, Joseph Stokes, Grandma Linda, Sis A.J, Detra Barbour, Ma Melinda (sunshine), Melanie Williams, Monique Suggs, The Jackson family, Nova McKinney, Nephew Ronnie, Roxanne a.k.a Roxi, sis Dominque, Shakeea Briscoe. If I’ve missed anyone I haven’t forgot you and I love you always.

Open Diary

Not ashamed of my struggles, not embarrassed of my mistakes. I stand up to my downfalls and let my tears bring out my pain. No secrets to this face. Working on different projects,with every task of my day. Open diary as I push the pen to tell my story as I allow the world to see my view. Holding your hand as you walk in my shoes. No accident with me spilling nothing but truth. Somethings are hard to believe due to me living so quietly for so long only giving paper my inner most deepest thoughts. You’ve known me only through the pages of my books and now wondering how my life looks, Isn’t a mystery no more. No more of the selfish me, no more can’t find my peace! Opening up this diary so I can be free!

Brenda Marrie Cole

Accessory

(Sleeping On The Sofa)

It hurts to know, nothing is perfect & all things must come to an end.

I’m more hurt than mad only because I haven’t done anything wrong.

I want only for things to be right for us.

God please allow me to see that at the end there will be me no matter what.

I don’t know what I’ve done wrong but I’m feeling like I don’t deserve to be treated like this.

I get approached to be told I’m how the problem got started.

You say it’s my fault because I slept on the sofa

Not addressing how this started, totally ignoring the phone call I received.

I’m not no fool, can’t sit back & watch you play me.

Now you just want to not argue, for me to just come to bed, No!!

Everything suppose to be cool because you don’t want to fight.

Waiting to see if I can sleep without holding you at night.

Crying as I lay