Frozen in Time: A Collection of My Thoughts

By Ms.Ly.Ric.

Frozen In Time: A Collection of My Thoughts is a window into the mind of girl searching for love, her place in a world she doesnt fit and most importantly herself. You witness the struggle she goes through involving the ever changing dynamics of her family, the loyalty (and sometimes lack thereof) of friends, the ups, downs and confusion of relationships, and her perception of herself in comparison to what others see and desire her to be. As with life, Frozen in Time will take you on a roller coaster ride full of joyous highs and painful lows.
I wrote this, not as a book in the beginning, but as a therapy to help me get through the most difficult of times in my life. I love to read and many authors have given me stories I relate to. Over the years I was encouraged by many to publish these thoughts for others to enjoy. My goal in this is to let people, who go through the same things I went through, know that they are not alone. Someone else in the world can feel the very pain or struggle you may be going through. There is hope.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465397140

Ms.Ly.Ric.

I was born in Chandler, Arizona on Williams Air Force Base and have resided in Dayton, Ohio, San Antonio, Texas, Anderson Air Force Base, Guam, and Panama City and Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. I have three sets of parents and thirteen brothers and sisters due to wedlock, divorce and remarriage. I was enlisted in the United States Air Force as a Medical Technician at Andrews AFB, Maryland. I’m currently attending San Antonio College, in my hometown of San Antonio, Texas, studying to receive my Bachelor’s Degree in Journalism. I draw my inspiration from personal experience and observations in my surroundings.

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Copyright © 2011 by Ms.Ly.Ric.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

108058

Contents

Dedication

Warning!!!

Part One:

I Love You

Broken Hearts

Another Chance

Look at Me Now

What’s the Deal?

2 of a Kind

The One

You

Clarification

Untitled

Not Ready

The Way You Love Me

Crushin’

Love’s Triangle

When You Cry

Bubble Bath

Why Fools Really Fall in Love

When People Think of Love

Losing a Friend

Battle of the Best Friends

You’re Leaving Me

First Impression

Now That I’ve Found You

The Cry

Is This Love?

What Makes?

Five Degrees of Love and Loneliness

Who Needs Love?

My Secret

I Think I Can

Thinking of You

The Sweetest Love

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

I’m Blessed

Going Crazy

Fairy Tales to For Real

For Love or Money

At First Sight

Better Off Without You

What I Want To Say

Easy To Fall in Love

Straight Up

Is That What Friends Are For?

A Letter to You

My Opinion

Lonely Confusion

Friend or Foe?

Music and Me

When It’s Time to Let Go

Afraid of Having it Bad

Encounters of the Personal Kind

My Time is Coming

One of Those Days

The Catch 22

You’ll Get it One Day

Under the Influence

Nowhere

What Do I Know?

Good Friends

What to Do

Love is Pain

Untitled

Word of Heart

Growing Pains

What’s Piercing to the Soul?

What Will You Follow?

Cause and Effect

Love

Cry for Help

How Far Will You Run?

I Understand

P. O. L. (Prisoner of Love)

Who Cares?

Yet and Still

The Story of Us

The Visitor

Maybe Meant To Be

What’s Best For Me?

God is Good

The Way It Should Be

Crying My Soul Dry

Part Two:

Enough

Advice

Crucial

Breaking Down

Trust

Verbal Abuse

Real Love

Generalizations Part I

Generalizations Part II

Memphis Blood

Twinkling Diamond

Scared of Losing You

Rain

Us

You Too

Balance

Protect Yourself

The Jokes on You

Would Rather

Sold Out

Woman II Woman

Hard Ball

Try Again (Hardball part II)

Failure

Another Letter to You

Reasons

The Night You Made Me Cry

Raw Emotions

Love in 2003

Simple as That

Freak Me Out

Just Don’t Get It

So You Were Right

Love Can Conquer All

No Title

Hater

Woman II Woman II

You Are

The lost Child

It’s Coming

The Truth

Face Value

Get Ready for War

Ten Minutes to Close

Our First Anniversary

A Strong Black Woman

Dreams

Patiently Waiting

Unconditional, Forgiving and Forever

How Long?

Actions

Life Long Friends

My Turn

What I’m About

Haters

Holler Back

J

How I Feel

Tired of Trying

My Heart Is Yours

It’s Not You

Meeting Mom

Our Second Anniversary

Untitled

Reunited

Mrs. Wright

Not Cool

My Prayer

The Way You Love Me

The Conflict

Coming Home

A Gift of a Lifetime

The Beginning of the End

Outside Looking In

The Hard Way (Live and Learn)

What I Need

Last Days

Do You?

Silly

Friends

No Title

The Conversation of a Lifetime

Pepped

Part Three:

You Make Me Wanna

Have a Good Time

No Place like Home

This Time

Who Am I?

Where Are You Now?

Questions

Choices

Untitled

Addiction

The Metro

Repetition

Reunited

If You Didn’t Know

Once I’m Over You

Baby Girl

New Song

If I Could Go Back

Down Ass Bitches

Done

Would You Still Love Me?

My Brother’s Keeper

Love for You to Love Me

The Dating Game

Sunshine

In Love

The Feeling is Gone

The Closest Ones

Depiction of Disillusion

Use and Abuse

Love’s Price Tag

You and Me

The Game of Love

Relapse

Thinking of You

Violated

Prayer of Peace

With or Without You

Breakthrough

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

Written Words

Ice Cream and Cake

A Letter

I Know

Love of My Life

On My Mind

Pieces of You

Lost

Watermelon

Dedication

To everyone that ever inspired, praised, and encouraged me; this is for you.

To the one who stuck by me when the walls were coming down;

this is most certainly for you. Love you.

To my big, little brother; I miss you, I love you, thank you.

Warning!!!

Between these pages are actual events that occured in the order that they were written. Before you even attempt to read anything in this book, know that you are entering a mind you may never be able to see or feel. These next few pages are windows to my life and how I interpret it, like it or not.

Please be advised that there is no make believe here, no fairy tales. I don’t pull punches, I don’t sugarcoat and I do not censor.

Don’t sleep

this shit here is mad deep

from beginning to end

My words become a must read.

Try to find yourself in my shoes

See if you can find yourself

in my situation; feel my blues.

I hope you enjoy this, but if not I can’t help you, don’t hate. Even if you do, it’s cool, it was never meant for you.

It will be what it is, and what it was…

. . . my thoughts

You’ve been warned.

Part One:

1998-2002

I Love You

November 20, 1998

I want to make it known

how much you hurt me

No person of your breed

could ever deserve me

I considered you the best part of my life

until I realized it was all a lie

How could you be so sadistic?

To lead me on this way

Convincing me that you really cared

and you would be here to stay

I must have been so blind

To believe that I could change your style

But I should have known

When you said you loved me

You were creeping in the meanwhile

Broken Hearts

May 1999

Sitting here thinking about

How all of this came to be

It started as a rumor

That involved both you and me

Now I don’t know anything about this

you came at me hard and strong

and this is what you told me

When I tried to tell you everyone is wrong

It can’t be hearsay

It’s too much for you to doubt

How can you be so sure it’s true

you won’t even here me out?

This happened to you before

But this is not the same situation

I was never out to get anything from you

Except for love and a little inspiration

If you’re hurt

Explain how

Or maybe I’ll ask your boys

I tried not to give up

But you left me no choice

Another Chance

May 1999

After all the accusations

After all that we’ve been through

I want to tell you from deep within

I’m still in love with you

All the time I’ve had alone

Thinking to myself

I can’t see more of being without you

I don’t want anybody else

I wish you were still here with me

our relationship faded too fast

you may say I don’t deserve it

But I wish I had another chance

Look at Me Now

February 9, 2000, Revised November 18, 2004

When I was young

I shared my dreams with you

Opened my heart to you

and this is what I got

Discouragement

You put me down

And you said I couldn’t do

the things I wanted to

But now I’m older

And finding my way

Asked God to help me

grasp my dreams one day

I’m so much stronger thanks to you

No matter what you say

I’m going to make it through

I’m so determined

So that I may have the chance to say to you

Yeah right, Okay

That’s what you said

Back in the day you didn’t believe

Look at me now

What do you see?

Hey, girl! Remember me?

That’s what you’ll ask

Whenever you see me on the street

Look at me now

What do you see?

The other day

You were smiling in my face

wishing you could erase

All the things you did, I know

Why you got to fake?

Back then you were full of hate

Guess you made a big mistake

when you dissed me long ago

but now I’m wiser

And I’ve found my way

Went to the Lord

And He provided me a way

I’m so much stronger

Thanks to you

The words you gave me

My means to make it through

Now here is what I have to say to you

Yeah right, Okay

That’s what you said

Back in the day you didn’t believe

Look at me now

What do you see?

Hey, girl! Remember me?

That’s what you ask

Whenever you see me on the street

Look at me now

What do you see?

What’s the Deal?

March 2000

Called you on the phone

And by the sound of our voice

I knew that something was wrong

Yelling, Babe, it’s nothing

But I know it’s something

Baby, just let me know

Now your attitude is out of control

giving me two shoulders cold

what am I not doing right?

Don’t want to argue and

Don’t want to fight

But the way you’re acting

tonight, we just might

If you can’t open up to me

So I can help with what you’re going through

then me and you cannot survive

Because I can’t deal with your attitude

2 of a Kind

May 2000

Remember the day that we met

A fond memory I’ll never forget

nobody knew the plan that was in store

after the date October 24

The popular type and everyone knew your name

the quiet one to always shy away from fame

We clearly differed in the way of personality

But we were the same inside Shorty you and me

we started chilling and together the streets we ran

There was no way to pin when our friendship began

How can I ever thank the Lord enough?

For sending by the most important thing a sister can have in her life

because you were the one

Who taught me I should be myself

And that I don’t need to try to impress somebody else

So I’m thanking you for being what a true