http://yourkickasslife.com/126 As the year comes to an end, I love thinking about not only my accomplishments,  but what I’ve learned. And this year I’ve made a list of the lessons I know to be true off the top of my head, 38 to be exact.There are loads more, but here’s a start: Cleaning up my own messes is the best way to sleep at night. This means apologizing when I’ve been an asshole and just generally doing my best to fix things I’ve made a mess of. Taking radical responsibility for my life is the only option.  No one else is responsible for my happiness. No one. My children don’t define me.  I used to think becoming a mother would be my ultimate life purpose. It isn’t. I used to have a lot of guilt and shame about that. But, I don’t anymore. No relationship will complete me. Not a single one. My vagina looks the way it does, and I’m okay with that, I even love it. That also goes for my boobs, tummy, and every other body part I used to hate. I’m done listening to people that tell me I need to look different. “Taking the edge off” really needed to be examined. For me, I was taking off all the edges. And sometimes edges just need to be dealt with. Exercise really is the best medicine. The voice in my head that tells me I’m not enough is a liar. Progress, not perfection. “Let it go” is 99% of the time, the best way to solve a problem. “No” is a complete sentence. If I listen, my body is usually trying to tell me something. I only apologize when I really, truly can stand behind it. There will always be people that don’t like me and it’s not my job to change their minds. (I admit this one is still tough. It’s a one-day-at-a-time lesson.) My parents did the best they could, with what they had at that time.  And as parents, that’s all we can do. Forgiveness is more about me, and not them. Time really doesn’t heal all wounds—I’m in charge of that. Time helps, but being proactive is the catalyst. All wisdom is created from healed pain. Trying to control everything is my one-way ticket on the crazy train. Sometimes I forget this and get on board. The comparison trap is basically made-up stories of what I think someone else’s life is like. We’re all scared. We all have fear. The people that say they are fearless are just pretending. None of us get out of this alive. And in the end, I want to be proud how I lived it. If we all worked on our insides as much as we worked on our outsides, the world would change for the better. You end up with what you put up with. Examine it and change what you don’t like. At your funeral, no one will talk about your failures. So, keep failinguntil you get it right. At that same funeral, no one will talk about how your body looked. Your heart and spirit matter more. You really do catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. In other words, don’t be a dick. Uncomfortable conversations are always hard. However, that elephant in the room isn’t going anywhere (and takes up a lot of space)—so you might as well call it out. Most people really are too busy thinking about themselves to be obsessing about you like you think they are. It’s usually never, ever as big a deal as we think it is. Ever. That person that treats you like shit is a giant invitation to not be around that person ever. If you spend time nosing in other people’s business, there’s probably something important in your life you’re purposely avoiding dealing with. God always has your back. Kindness really always does win. Love is always the answer. Having an open mind can many times blow your mind. None of us are broken or need fixing. Improvement, yes. Whatever you think you are, will be your truth. And you are completely in charge of that, babe.