All of Nothing: The Fight to Exist Among Them

By Queyes

What happens when youve given everything you possibly can and it still isnt enough? Some of us go through life having no idea of who we are, and overcompensating to fill hidden voids becomes our way of living. We arent truthful about the things we love, the things that hurt, or the things we dislike. Self-discovery can bring pain, but there is victory and rejoicing at the end of its journey. All of Nothing: The Fight to Exist among Them is a collection of poetry that communicates the consequences of living a lie. It depicts and captures the essence of psychological issues that are quickly swept under the rug and never dealt with. Issues that can catapult one into someone they dont recognize, someone they secretly hate.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514456644

Queyes

I discovered the love for writing when I was just a young girl, void of a verbal voice. It was almost like a secret that became public when I wrote an entry for Minute-Maid soda one summer while attending the Boys and Girls Club of Broward County. Who would have thought that the encouragement to enter that contest would have set off such a love for the craft! While attending middle school, I fell into a deep love affair with music and decided to fuse it with my writing. I am currently involved in church and the community. I love spending quality time with my family.

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All of Nothing

The Fight to Exist Among Them

Queyes

Copyright © 2016 by Queyes.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 02/05/2016

Xlibris

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Table of Contents

Dedication

Preface

Unsweetened Revelation :  The Ruin In Reality

Mother

I Remember

In Visible

In The Mirror

Truth

Deyalpos

Death Afar

SMH

High Road

Old House

For Granted

Suicide

Emotionless

Split Reflection

First Born

Virgin Unveiled

Little Girl Blue :  The Me I Portrayed

Right After

On Queue

Free In Me

Day Dream

My Time is Now

Bull-Doz’n

All That Jazz

Spark It Up

Nothing Last Forever

Same Ole

Radical Freedom

A Drummers Soul

No Remorse in Death

Left to Search Alone

Forbidden Fruit

STeP OuT

Another Set of Blues

Sex In Whispers :  Hiding Beneath The Sheets

Sex

She Loves Like Jazz

Sweet Heat

Searching Still

I Can Do It

Not Mine

Rewind Mind

Conventional Ain’t Essential

Star Gazing

Is It Love

But A Dream

Haikus N Love

Nasty Nigga

Fool’s Gold

WiSi

What I Need

Free To Be

Elevation for 1000

Goodbye Blues

Sweet Genesis :  Finding What Was Missing

This Is Real

I Am We

Glass House

Today

My Season

Bless You

Restroom, Then Ready

Check-Up

Laundry

Scene Over

Sister

My God, I will trust

His Plan

My Desire To See

Prayer In War

Make It In

I Survived

Blind Belief

Purge Me

Acknowledgments

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the little lost girls and boys that have never been found. It’s never too late.

Preface

Writing is life for me. It is an escape away from the brutality of reality. As a little girl I had three best friends; a book, a pencil, and a piece of paper. My vocal expression was shut down and the only way I knew how to scream was through written expression; written words. There was too much going on in the adult world for anyone to pay attention to my little girl. So everything I learned, I picked up through observation and the process of elimination. My tears and my fears were inaudible and all of my treasures hidden. I found comfort in my own thoughts and I’d find myself in different places. I found love in music and that became an addition and deeply rooted extension of me. The formation of words and thoughts eventually transformed into artistry. A word is everything and nothing at the same time. All of me; hate, love, playfulness, social consciousness, sexuality, curiosity, and spirituality emitted through my written words.

I watched as the life I knew and had grown accustomed to, as dysfunctional as it was, slowly start to change. I had lost sight of who I really was or who I thought I should be and my integrity had gone out the window. I was a sex addict and in relationships with women. I didn’t want to face the truth about me, the realness of who my parents were, and getting free from those generational curses. I was internally hurting because I didn’t have relationships with my parents. I didn’t know how to relate to men and I hadn’t realized the brick wall of resentment I built toward them because of my father’s deficit. I only dated older women because I was looking for them to fill the void my failed relationship with my mother left. Anger and hate fueled justification for everything negative I touched. Nobody could tell me anything and I was determined to do what I wanted.

Alcohol, weed, and sex was the self-medicated therapy I indulged in and I watched myself spin completely out of control. God wasn’t