The Book of Rondalation - All I See Is Worship:The Social Chameleon

By L. Ma’Shell

Author L. Ma'Shell takes you through her life journey of feeling out of place and learning to adapt to her surroundings by becoming a chameleon. As she navigates different social situations, she discovers the true meaning of acceptance and belonging through the word of God. But not before encountering some hard life lessons along the journey.

As a Social Chameleon, you can blend in and adapt to any situation. The people and places you choose for your adaptation are very crucial to your mind, body, soul, and spirit. If you're trying to fit in, whether it be for love, acceptance, or financial gain, don't just consider the journey. Consider who/what tags along! "Camouflage is not just clothing attire. It is the ability to morph into a surrounding without standing out. I learned through being a Social Chameleon that I am meant to STAND OUT! If all I see is other people when I look in the mirror, then all I see is worship--of them!" ~L. Ma'Shell

• Language: English
• Publisher: L. Ma’Shell
• Release date: Jan 16, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224841967

Book preview

ALL I SEE IS WORSHIP:

The Social Chameleon

© 2023 Grandfantabublessed Productions

No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without the permission of  the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

This book is dedicated to the Love of my life, Jesus!

Without Him I would be nothing!

And to my awesome and crazy exciting Children and Grandloves:

I love y’all’s total lives!!!

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***DECLARATION***

This is a true story. Names were omitted or changed. This is not a self help book, or a book about how to become a great worshipper. All of that is between you and God, honey! This is a memoir rollercoaster ride through the life and eyes of an Extra-Ordinary Worshipper.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

L. Ma’Shell was born and raised in Columbus, Ohio. She is an elated and thankful mother of three and GiGi of four.

L. Ma’Shell is a playwright, singer/songwriter, musician, and worship leader. Through the instruction of Almighty God, she has written and performed five plays and is planning performance for a sixth. Each play portrays self-love and acceptance of salvation through Jesus Christ. She has just recently released her first EP entitled They Can’t Make Me Doubt Him, now streaming on all digital platforms.

The inspiration for this book came from the endurance of hurt and shame from decisions made through the years that seemed like they were right at the time. Through the spoken Word of God, L. Ma’Shell  was reminded that she was not created to do; she was created to be.

CHAPTER ONE

WILL THE REAL ME PLEASE STAND UP?

I stood in the corridor of my newly leased apartment when the realization of my TRUE independence set in: I can be myself. I can just be me. But wait, who exactly am I again? Hmmmm, I seriously need to figure this out. I have been living for everyone else for so long that I had no idea who I was. Have I hidden my true self so deeply  inside  to the point that I have no identity?

I am seriously starting over with my life all by myself. I gasped out loud. The what ifs began to surface within me. What if I fail? What if I can’t make it without someone telling me what or how to do things? How will I know who I am or what I like if there is no one around to point it out to me? How had I allowed myself to be controlled for so long?  Eventually, I reached the real question- when did I allow myself to be so controlled in the first place?

I tried to collect my thoughts and snap back into reality. I began to unpack a few boxes to keep myself going forward. That’s when I came across a box of trinkets I had collected over the years, and I quickly found myself lost in thought again. Is the saying, in order to move forward, you have to stop going backward actually true? Well, let’s look at the word ‘backward’. The dictionary lists different meanings for this word, but the one that is best suited for this situation is, having made less than normal progress. If I’m constantly questioning who I am, then I am in a backward state of existence, trying to move forward with very little progress. It is now time for me to address the backward so I can move forward!

CHAPTER TWO

THE START OF EVERYONE ELSE

It is said that by the time a child reaches the age of 6, they are independent and seek to build friendships. They also have tricky emotions. I believe this is where I got it twisted. The independence faded when I decided that seeking friendships/relationships made more sense to me. It was easier to watch and mock others that piqued my interest than to think about what or how to do for myself. I got more attention when I wasn’t being myself, so I figured this was how life was supposed to be. After a while, morphing into whoever was with me at the time became second nature. Besides being independent only brought rejection and embarrassment. Who wanted that? Certainly not me.

And just who made me decide that I didn’t want to be myself, you ask? My family! They were notorious for pointing out my  unappealing features with no regards to leading me down a DIY or self improvement aisle. They didn’t hestitate to let me know how big my nose was, how stupid I was, and whatever else they found wrong with me. As a result, I saw the hideous nose they mocked when I looked into the mirror. Every time I opened my mouth to share my thoughts and ideas, I heard the dumb tone of voice that they enjoyed laughing at all of the time.  Family may mean well when they highlight all of our flaws, but what they don’t do is explain how to improve.  When you constantly tell a child he/she is ugly and you leave it at that, eventually that child starts to believe it. I used to wonder if my mom and the kids at school were plotting against me because she used to style my hair in an afro that would  flatten in the back and on the sides by the time I got to school. Paired with my hideous big nose, I was popularly known by my peers as The Incredible Hulk. I hated it! I would go in the bathroom and try to fix my hair, but I would just make it worse. They would walk by me and growl like the hulk or make a scene by saying, Don’t make her angry! You won’t like her when she’s angry! Yeah, I pretty much hated grade school. I became quiet, withdrawn, and very observant from that period of my life onward. I learned to be more aware of the world around me. I studied how others talked, walked, laughed, played, and all. I watched them. I was looking