Using Words to Find My Voice

By Eva Maria

Ever had an issue that seemed like it wouldn't go away? Emotions that come from nowhere and you don't know how to cope with them? Learn how one woman's act of journaling brought emotional healing into her life and can help you too!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 23, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638811541

Book preview

Introduction

Before you start to judge me, step into my shoes and walk the life

I’m living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe

you will see how strong I really am.

—Unknown

Life is sometimes not as neat and tidy as we would like it to be. If you have issues or have survived abuse, there are many things, like bad dreams and panic attacks and flashbacks, that can hang around to run out and slap you in the face when you least expect it. I know because I have been there. At times, I have felt tormented and wondered if I would ever be normal and free of them. The answer is no. They are always hiding in the shadows, looking for an opportunity to run out into the open and embarrass me. But I have learned—with the help of trusted friends, my pastor, and a great counselor—to control them. I have learned breathing exercises and ways of thinking that replace the old thoughts, so when the bad stuff crowds into my mind, I recognize them for the lies they are and go on with my life. One of the biggest helps, and the simplest, has been my journal. It travels with me everywhere; and I have a special case that has colored pencils and pens so that, should I need it, I can journal at a moment’s notice.

About six years ago, I was driving down the highway and had stopped quickly to avoid hitting the truck in front of me. I was breathing a sigh of relief at my narrow escape from an accident when I was suddenly hit from behind, and my van was knocked into the road. No one slowed down, and I was sitting right out in the middle of traffic. I was terrified of being hit again and could tell my right wrist was hurt as it began swelling almost immediately. I pulled out my journal and began writing about how frightened I was, where I was, and what was happening, breathing slowly and keeping away the panic until, about fifteen minutes later, the highway patrolman stopped the oncoming traffic so I could pull off the road. Thankfully I wasn’t hit and was able to drive my van to my then husband’s work so he could take me to the emergency room. Without my journal, I would have been a basket case by the time the patrolman got to me. Being able to write about what was going on kept me focused and somewhat calm. When instructed, I was able to drive to a safer place where I could be helped out of my van.

My journal is a safe place. There is no judgment or condemnation there, no matter what I write or what language I use to write it. No one reads my journals except whom I choose to let read them. At the same time, just as I have learned to use my voice in writing, I am choosing now to step out and use my voice for speaking. I speak at women’s lunches and at support groups about stepping out and learning to live again after a life of abuse and about what people can do to help others still trying to survive.

One very big issue for survivors of abuse is often God. It is a highly controversial and personal issue; for that reason, I