My Life: Exposed

By Sierra Cruz

This is the non-censored version of my life story. Beginning at age 9 and ending at age 19, welcome to the 10 years that shaped my life the most.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sierra Cruz
• Release date: Dec 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781540101297

Sierra Cruz

Just a girl sharing experiences.

Book preview

Sierra Cruz

Intro

What effect does one story have on over 7 billion people that make up the world? One will never know. My hope is that if you are reading this, then you too may be encouraged in ways that I will never know.

With that, my name is Sierra Cruz, a mere teenager with problems, and this is my life story.

(For privacy, names have either been changed or abbreviated)

Chapter 1: My OCD Monster

Nine years old. The age of elementary school, cooties, birthday parties, and for me, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD for short. So while all of the other kids were jumping on the playground and laughing at nothing, I was hoarding trash deep in my closet, feeling like crap, and crying myself to sleep because I would never be normal.

One day, one of my first days as a hoarder, I remember walking up the stairs in my house holding a used tissue behind my back so my brother didn’t know what I was doing. As I was walking, I remember being so disappointed with myself and what I was becoming. I had never thought of myself as a hoarder before... Until that moment. As I reached the top of my stairs, into my room, and then into my closet, I was welcomed with a wall of a disgusting smell of rotting garbage. It hadn’t become a problem until the smell started seeping into my clothes and I eventually started smelling like the dump. But I couldn’t stop. It was now a full time job. And as I closed my odorous closet door, I sat down on my bed and sobbed at the thought of what I was transforming into.

Weeks passed like that. My family and I stopped using paper napkins because I wouldn’t let anyone throw them away. No one could cook around me; I would have to keep the egg shells. It was bad. My closet reeked. I was miserable. My family was miserable. A poor 9-year-old stuck in bondage in her own mind screaming to get free.

We eventually found a temporary solution to my hoarding; burning the trash. We’d set up the fire pit in the backyard, pile my stuff in, and light a match. Even this, the simplest task, was hard for me. I would shake and scream and cry and nothing would calm me down. You would think it would be normal for a now 10-year-old to have some fits, but these were exceptionally alarming. My mom didn’t know what to do; probably because she didn’t understand what was trapped inside of me; later to be diagnosed as Bipolar Disorder. The rest of my family didn’t get it either. No one did. And that’s when my mom finally decided on bringing me to therapy.

Chapter 2: Therapy Take 1

One of my biggest inspirations would have to be my first therapist, T. I remember my first therapy appointment and being so scared of this woman. She was on the short side with short blonde hair and a fiery personality – one just like mine.