Trial And (Mostly) Error: How To Grow Through What You Go Through

By Laura Young

Do you ever look back on your life and wonder, What the hell was I thinking? If so, good for you! As a self-proclaimed black sheep with a rebel heart, Laura relates to so many in her debut compilation of personal essays, Trial and (Mostly) Error.

With essays like "Dying Sucks, So Write a Will" and "Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History," Laura takes you on a personal journey of self-evolution and discovery through stories and life lessons that are both relatable and entertaining. Her "tell it like it is" style will leave you laughing, crying, and endlessly entertained. At the end of each chapter, readers will find a list of "challenges" to ask themselves before moving on. These stories will inspire you and leave you feeling thankful for your mistakes because after all, we all can grow through what we go through.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887633084

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Introduction

How It Started

Let the Chaos Commence

Find Your Tribe, Love Them Hard

Ink Therapy

Roots and Wings

How It Went

Well-Behaved Women Barely Make History

The Chicken or the Egg?

Dying Sucks, So Write a Will

Saving the World Isn't Our Job, Although We Should Try

How It's Going

Being Born Again

Overprepare, Then Go with the Flow

Dedication over Motivation

In Hindsight

Conclusion

Acknowledgments

About the Author

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Trial And (Mostly) Error

How To Grow Through What You Go Through

Laura Young

Copyright © 2023 Laura Young

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2023

It is not legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited.

ISBN 979-8-88763-307-7 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88763-308-4 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

To my past self, who really needed to hear all the content in this book, and my tribe, who has loved me through it all.

Introduction

Maybe it was the moment that I found myself alone in a bar on New Year's Eve while my (first) fiancé was strolling the streets, drunk and incoherent. Or maybe it was when I realized that my life seemed like a revolving door filled with toxic men. Whatever the aha moment was, I knew long, long ago that life was fucked up or that I was fucked up—one of the two. Either way, it all boiled down to disappointment and failure—disappointment in myself, disappointment in others, failed relationships, and false hopes. I found myself asking time and time again, What is wrong with me? Why is my life like this? I try so hard. I am a normal, nice human being. There must be more to life than this! And there I was, thirty years old and desperately wanting more out of life, tirelessly looking for worth and value in all the wrong places for what seemed like my entire existence.

So, dear friend, before you decide to continue reading past the first two f-bombs, I must tell you that I believe life is a contact sport like a dodgeball game you didn't sign up for but find balls flying at your face, trying to tag you out. I believe that you must have grit, passion, and perseverance to not only survive but thrive in this life. I intend to help you find your inner warrior through a compilation of life lessons, raw honesty, and hard truths.

The kind of honesty I'm referring to is one that can only come from a woman that found out the hard way how to accept all of herself. I am no expert; I don't have a life coach degree. But I think that just makes me even more qualified. I am just a normal woman that has struggled through understanding herself and this wild journey. There are still many nooks and crannies that I have yet to explore within myself and other areas I feel I was forced to master by trial and (mostly) error.

Each chapter is a peek into life circumstances that have helped me learn some valuable lessons along the way. At the end of each chapter, I have a challenge for you. Are you ready to take a hold of your circumstances instead of thinking you're a victim of all this craziness? If so, keep reading.

My prayer is that when you finish this book, you feel a little less alone, a little less fucked up, and a little less stressed about what you're not and discover the courage to be everything you are and more.

I hope you enjoy the stories and circumstances in my life that brought me to put this pen on the page. They make up the fabric of my life, my fantastically fucked-up quilt of a life, and maybe some of yours as well.

Part 1

How It Started

Let the Chaos Commence

Sometimes when chaos burns like wildfire around us, we have no other choice but to fall in love with the warmth.

—Christopher Poindexter

Ihave OCD. Don't worry, I've had enough therapy to last a lifetime. If you are not familiar with OCD, it is an anxiety disorder that involves excessive thoughts that lead to repetitive behaviors. Sounds fun, right? It started to affect my daily life visibly when I was in elementary school. My bedtime routine was lengthy and calculated. I had to drink a certain number of cups of water, arrange my ChapStick on my nightstand just right, and lie on my back with my hair tightly tucked behind my head. It's a miracle that I ever fell asleep in that coffin position. I was also very scared that something bad was going to happen to my parents if I didn't perform specific rituals until it felt right to me.

I remember in middle school, I was watching an Oprah episode where some lady was so scared of germs that she bathed in bleach daily and wore white gloves everywhere she went, and that was when I realized, I think I have that. My parents—being the proactive, superinvolved humans that they are—sought out help for me. My little life was spiraling out of control, and they were helpless to stop it. I started meeting with the school guidance counselor, but eventually, I needed more support. That came in the form of a professional psychologist named Barb. I will never forget my first session with her. I was probably twelve or thirteen years old, and I had on fake acrylic nails painted blue with white snowflakes for decoration for Christmas. Why, you ask, do you remember this? Because I stared at my nails the entire hour and didn't say a word in true preteen fashion. Eventually, I warmed up to her, and she became my confidant and trusted friend. One of the biggest steps I took with her help was identifying my obsessive thoughts and ranking them on a scale from one to ten. From there, we developed scripts of what I could say to myself to combat the obsessions. The mind certainly is a powerful thing, and I mean that in both negative and positive ways. What we say to ourselves is arguably the most important voice of all. Conditioning it to be of service to us and not tear us down is a lifelong challenge worth fighting. We quantified my irrational fears that came with not doing the act (compulsion)