Hannahs Amazing Grace Broken but Healed

By Jeannie M. Washington

How can a heart, body and soul that is so broken be repaired? How can peace be found when there is nothing but a life of confusion? How can true healing begin and remain? Only the Love and Grace of Almighty God. Take a journey through the life of Hannah Martin and see that in spite of the past, the healing power of God's Love can surpass anything done by man. This Grace is not just for Hannah for all. Open your heart and experience Hannah's Amazing Grace that will not leave you Broken but Healed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BK Royston Publishing
• Release date: Apr 12, 2019
• ISBN: 9781386674948

Book preview

Dedication

To My Very Best Friends,

God, My Husband Alfred and Emily Howard.  They have always been there to encourage me and this book would never have been written without them. 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Broken but Healed.  I pray that you will be moved by my story and see that I am just like you. We are all people who are beset by the difficulties that many of us struggle with: relationships that are broken, illness that threatens to sap the soul of its strength, loneliness, money trouble, fear, and abuse.  I hope to inspire you to live every moment of your day with renewed optimism and faith.  Without passion for God, without zeal for life, without fervor in prayers, we are lifeless, and our faith can so easily be cast aside. Learn from my story. Never give up on God because He will never give up on you.  When I was set free from my prison of my parent’s making, I tried to hide my heart away so that it would never be broken again. But that didn’t work because what I needed to do was to find a New Romance.  I needed to fall in love with God and I am so happy that I did. It truly is the greatest romance of my life. I realized that to seek God is the greatest adventure I could ever hope to have.  To find Him was my greatest human achievement. What the cynical and indifferent heart needs is a healthy dose of romance from the lover of your soul. 

Let Him Love You, 

Hannah

CHAPTER 1

I’ve often heard someone ask, If God is our true heavenly and loving Father who has nothing but our best interests at heart, then why does He allow so many terrible things to happen to the children He created?

I used to ask this question. Why would God allow so much evil to be visited on so many people?

Why did He allow me to be born to parents who had nothing but hatred for me?  Why did He let such horrible things happen to innocent people?  I never found the answer to these questions.  For me, the answer would be moot because pain and degradation was all I ever knew.  I had no other concept no other point of reference to compare my life to and in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter.  One of the many lessons I learned from my childhood is that you live the life you were dealt and then you die.

I was born and raised into one of the most evil and dysfunctional families you would ever know. The only example of a mother I had hated the very sight of me.  I did not know that a mother was supposed to love and protect me. The mother I knew had no warmth no compassion. She stood by as I was abused by the only father I ever knew.  She watched with loathing as I was severely abused physically and sexually for my entire childhood. I didn’t know what it was to be shown kindness. I thought that this was the norm for families.

I never knew what it felt like to be anything other than a punching bag or a sex toy for those who were supposed to love and protect me from the monsters out there in the world, are the ones that might be hiding under my bed.

I never knew what it felt like to know that if I got scared, I can call my daddy and he’ll come to rescue me. I didn’t need to know that, because I knew there was no monster under the bed, because the biggest and the scariest monster I knew was lying beside me where he was most nights.  Since I was 6 years old, there was nothing mystical about him. I knew his face and voice as well as I knew my own, my monster was my father.

If someone had told me that one day that I would look back on the horror that was my childhood and see God’s blessings in disguise, I would have told them no that will never happen as long as I drew breathe.  Who would’ve believed that one day I would know the extraordinary love of a father that would raise me up out of the ashes of my severe adversity?  How could I know that with just one touch of His hand He would make me clean?  It was His love that saved me and changed my life forever.

For so many years, I was a victim of circumstances that I couldn’t control.  I was broken into so many pieces I thought I would never be whole again. I learned that No one on this earth is perfectly safe and perfectly immune from all of the different kinds of storm clouds that can come our way.  I realized that the trials in my life only made me stronger. The tragedy of my youth taught me to have Faith no matter what it may look like in the natural. Because of His blood, I would not be destroyed.  Now don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t always so confident and self-assured. It took years of intense therapy, spiritual counsel and a close intimate relationship with God to get to the place that I am in today. That broken and shattered girl I was back then had no concept of even being a real person. I could only see myself through my mother’s reflection.  Whenever she saw me, she told me that I was nothing but garbage. Whenever I looked at her, I could see her rage and vile loathing reflected back at me. I would lay awake at night and wonder what terrible crime did I commit that made my own mother despise me? I heard every day that I was nothing, would always be nothing, that I was born a nothing and that I would die a nothing. If you hear something about yourself often enough, eventually you will start to believe it and that's exactly what I did. From that moment, I realized that all I would ever feel is pain and all I would ever know is conflict and abuse. I had no expectation of ever having anything more than that. There were no happy family moments for the Jones'. At that point in my life, I didn’t know what happiness even felt like. I guess it’s true. You can’t miss what you never had. My only focus was my reality to survive by any means necessary. That became my motto. I was content to walk through life