A Promise to Keep My Angel

By Kate Austin

People recognize post-partum blues as an expected element after giving birth. These anxious feelings are usually associated with hormonal changes and the slow adaptation to change. Unbeknownst to many, even adoptive parents experience the same things too, but are faced with even more difficulty, because of this unfamiliar occurrence that was, and is, not widely taught to soon-to-be adoptive parents. This is commonly called the Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome, (PADS). And this is the nightmare that changed my life forever.

Before this, I had everything a woman could possibly wish for in her life. Due to suffering from PADS for the first time. I lost everything, including the most precious gift of all, my beautiful little Angel, Adam. I have spent years fighting Social Services, the Justice system and husband, with an unbelievably devastating outcome through lies, deceit, cover up, discrimination, and lack of understanding. I made a Promise to my son that I would never leave him and would always be there for him. Adam's fears came true as he had his mummy taken away from him for no known reason other than jealousy of the special and loving bond we shared, and resentment of my illness by his father. I will never give up fighting to have us reunited and to keep the Promise I made to him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Apr 9, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493142613

Kate Austin

Even though Kate is an Aries (the fire sign), she thinks of herself as a water baby. She can't resist the ocean; it sings to her. Every day, she spends at least a few minutes watching the water, and on good, or very bad, days, you can find her walking the seawall for hours, rain or shine. Kate Austin has worked as a legal assistant, a commercial fisher, a brewery manager, a teacher, a technical writer and a herring popper, while managing to read an average of a book a day. Go ahead, ask her anything. If she doesn't know the answer, she's more than happy to make it up because she's been reading and writing fiction for as long as she can remember. She's got loads of practice at making things up. Kate blames her mother and her two grandmothers for her reading and writing obsession, all of them were avid readers and they passed the books and the obsession on to her. And she reads everything, from fantasy to mysteries to literary fiction to romance. She's addicted to books, and buying them is her biggest expense. Kate Austin writes the same way...passion combined with a big dose of addiction. It's part of her day, every day. She loves writing, the process and the product, and is astonished and delighted that twenty years on, she's finally getting paid for it.

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Copyright © 2014 by Kate Austin.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-4931-4260-6

       Ebook           978-1-4931-4261-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Rev. date: 04/03/2014

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Contents

Introduction

The Adoption Process

The Placement And Loss Of My Little Angel

The Court

The Complaint

The Evidence Revealed—November 2013

This Is A Promise I Fully Intend To Keep!

PADS (Post Adoption Depression Syndrome) & Advice

http://images.free-extras.com/pics/b/broken_heart-1502.jpg

For legal reasons all real names and identities have been changed to ensure anonymity.

Chapter 1

Introduction

F or years people have said I should write my true life story, but I kept putting it off because just talking about what I have gone through upsets and angers me. I also thought it was such an unbelievable story that people would think it was fictional. However, in November 2013 I came across an article in the Adoption Today magazine that featured an article from a lady who wrote about Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS). I had never heard of this diagnosis before and therefore for 7 years I have lived with guilt, anger, shame and great sadness thinking I was the only person in the world who suffered depression after the placement of a prospective adoptive child. I had everything a woman could want, but within 3 years I lost everything, including my sweet little angel, to an illness that only other sufferers can understand. Since finding out that thousands of women (and men) have gone and are going through similar experiences I felt the time was right to share my story in the hope that my loss could be someone else’s gain. I never got the chance or choice to give any evidence in Court about my true life story, so I would now like to take the opportunity of saying , I solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm that the evidence I shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I have always been a strong, confident, sociable and happy person. I held a responsible position in a well paid job. I have always wanted children of my own having been very maternal to my nephews and nieces and other children I used to baby-sit for. I am a caring person and am fond of animals having adopted a rescue dog and taken responsibility for caring and training a neglected horse.

In 2000 I bought a beautiful house along with my then boyfriend, Steven, and subsequently married him in 2004. We tried to start a family for some time without success and then enquired about IVF treatment but, unfortunately, I had just turned 39 years old and the cut-off point with the NHS was 38. We made a joint decision to adopt and the adoption process began in 2006. This was an extremely tough and challenging time, but I was always determined to carry on no matter what it took. It was such a stressful period in our life and my husband felt it was too much and wanted to give up the idea of adoption. I, on the other hand, felt so strongly about starting a family, that I persuaded him to see it through for at least another year.

Three years later my little Angel, Adam, came in to our lives.

Chapter 2

The Adoption Process

March 2006

S teven and I attended Prep courses and completed an Interest Adoption Form and handed it in on the night of the course. This form went missing and Social Work assumed Steven and I were not proceeding. Our feedback forms were lost as well. One month later I completed the Interest Adoption Form again.

We heard nothing until 2 months later, when a Social Worker came out to see us, to assess our life, thoughts on raising a child, and our personality. We agreed that we understood about how divorce could effect children, agreed we would never use physical punishment and we understood that we would have to tell our child/children that they had been adopted. In her report she described me as being someone who did not reflect on the past, but can do so when necessary and sees positives out of negative experiences. She felt I was the more confident one out of our relationship and that I seemed to be the one that would make the decisions. She stated that Steven was quiet and reserved therefore found it difficult to know much about him.

A month later we were asked to complete a medical form. To my future