NPR

'I Was Utterly Gutted': Farai Chideya Endures 3 Failed Adoptions

The journalist, author and former NPR host speaks out about her painful quest for motherhood: "There's a lot of emotional blood on the floor."
Empty baby beds stand in the maternity ward of a hospital (a spokesperson for the hospital asked that the hospital not be named). Six days after Farai Chideya took her adopted newborn child home from a hospital, she was forced to give him back to his birth mother.

Farai Chideya wanted to become a mother. Five years and $50,000 after she began this quest, Chideya is still childless but has gained a harsh lesson about the ills of America's adoption system.

Three times, Chideya was matched with a child and three times the mother changed her mind.

The journalist, author and one-time NPR host of , wrote a , Medium's platform for women of color, sharing her pain in the journey

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