Dating in the Millennium: A Relationship Reality Check

By Alicia S. Walker

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate, Matthew 19:6
Good communication openly and honestly is ideal when it comes to dating and marriage.
Many women aspire to share a covenant relationship with the opposite sex, and really
don't bargain for being labeled as girlfriend #2, friend, baby momma, or any other label or title
that is given to them other than wife or fianc
. As young girls and young adults most aspire to be
married, have a family, and be in a one-on-one committed relationship. A relationship is like any
living plant that requires sunlight, nurturing, and water. If you don't water it and provide it with
enough sunlight, water and care, it dries up and dies. This holds true for any relationship between
a man and a woman. Love makes the world go round. When cultivating a healthy and fruitful
relationship, the relationship should be a win-win for both parties involved. It is important to
begin a relationship with honesty, integrity, respect and trust. Ask God daily to lead, guide, and
advise you so that you can make sound decisions when it comes to dating and marriage. He always
give us signs when things are not right so pay attention to the things that are going on around
you and in your life. Take time to do some soul searching and get in tuned with yourself and start
asking yourself some very important questions. What truly makes you happy? And what is the
real defi nition of love and what does it mean to you? Remember, you cannot make someone else
happy if you're not happy with yourself. Live for you and do what makes you feel the happiest
whether your family and friends agree or disagree. At the end of the day whatever choice or
decision you make, you are the one who have to live with it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483653044

Alicia S. Walker

Alicia S. Walker is a god-fearing professional businesswoman, motivational speaker, and entrepreneur. When she´s not writing she´s running her business and coaching others to become successful business leaders and providing training to empower youth to become successful at whatever they choose to do. She currently serves on the board of a nonprofi t organization and has partnered with other organizations to train, develop, and educate our youth nationwide. Alicia came from humble beginnings and has a passion to help others. She is the co-author of two books, God I Need to Hear a Word From You and Eighty Scripture Lessons On Your Journey To Wellness and Success. She is also the Author of In The Midst Of the Day and 100 Biblical Tips To Help You Live A More Peaceful and Prosperous Life. Her motto for success is “Seek the Kingdom of God fi rst” in all that you do, and everything else will fall into place. Use God as your spiritual guide, to lead you, encourage you, and challenge you as you reach for the stars. Believe in Christ and believe in yourself and you will be able to accomplish anything that you set your mind to do. Life is only what you make it.

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Alicia S. Walker.

Library of Congress Control Number:           2013910693

ISBN:           Hardcover           978-1-4836-5303-7

Softcover           978-1-4836-5302-0

Ebook           978-1-4836-5304-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This information presented herein represents the view of the Author

as of the date of publication. This material is general dating advice only

and is not intended to be a substitute for professional or psychological advice.

This book is for entertainment purposes only!

Rev. date: 07/03/2013

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

137335

CONTENTS

I Shall Rise Again

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Foreword

Chapter 1: Cultivating a Healthy and Fruitful Relationship

Chapter 2: We Have To Do Our Homework

Chapter 3: Living Debt Free, for Sanity

Chapter 4: What Standards Do You Have?

Chapter 5: Love and Happiness

Chapter 6: Let’s Get Feminine Ladies

Chapter 7: Spirituality

Chapter 8: Sexting and Texting, What’s up with Informal Dating?

Chapter 9: New Beginnings

Chapter 10: Forget About the Horror Stories of Dating and Try Something New

Chapter 11: A Self-Assessment and Analysis

Resources: To Empower Women

This book is dedicated to all the women who have experienced one dating challenge after another, don’t give up, God got

your back. You will be blessed with the desires of

your heart if you are patient.

I SHALL RISE AGAIN

I have been taken advantage of

I can’t believe this

What part of he’s not into you?

Did I miss

Sweet tender words whispered in my ear

Did I go deaf and could not hear

He said exactly what he was supposed to

So he could keep my attention, while he did what he wanted to do

Am I that afraid of being alone?

Do I have to answer every ring of the phone?

Do I have some self-esteem issues with myself?

Am I afraid of being left?

After all

I told him it cost to be the boss

But I am a little confused and lost

He disappear every weekend

Claim he’s working or hanging out with friends

I can’t take it no more

This relationship needs to end

It’s worse than a cold winter night

Cause when we are together

All we do is fuss and fight

I really get disturbed

When he tells me to hit the gym to increase my curves

I can’t believe he even has the nerve

He can’t possibly love me

Cause he would accept me for me

I have to open my eyes to see

I can’t pretend to be a blind woman anymore

I have to strengthen myself and walk out this door

In the end I realized he was not my man or my friend

But it’s his lost

And I shall rise again

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First and foremost, I would like to thank God, for given me the knowledge, skills, and abilities to accomplish anything that I set my mind out to do. I seek him first in all the decisions that I make in my life. I would like to thank my parents, because without them there would be no me, especially my supportive mother for being the strong force behind me to help me carry that torch to accomplish my goals and dreams in becoming a successful business woman. She encouraged me to go on, so many times when I felt like giving up. I thank god for her and all that she has done for me and my children. I would like to acknowledge my two beautiful children for being great children who are loving, kind, smart, and caring. I love you both very much and words alone can’t explain how proud I am of the both of you. You both bring joy to my heart. I would like to thank my beautiful siblings who support me with unfailing love, they have supported me and stood by me through the good and bad times, and my aunt from the west coast, who loves to travel the world. She inspires me to live life carefree and stress free by changing your scenery from time to time. I love you all.

I would also like to thank the extended family and friends who support me, including my sister-in-laws, cousins, nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, and the wonderful teachers and instructors who educated my children. I would like to thank the wonderful team at Xlibris Publishing for being so professional and providing me with excellent service and helping me publish three books. You all are the best! All the wonderful people in entertainment that I love so much who share their musical talent through their inspirational lyrics and melodies and the wonderful comedians who keeps me laughing when I feel like crying. Laughter is good for the heart and soul. Last but not least, all the positive people around the world that are not just watching things happen, but are actually taking a proactive role to make things happen to bring about change throughout the world by lending a helping hand to give back to the less fortunate, supporting a cause, empowering women, and serving and improving their communities. A special thanks to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, for continuing the fight against the deadly disease cancer that have claimed the lives of so many people close to me.

A portion of the proceeds of this book will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, for all the women who are battling cancer. I have lost several members of my family to cancer and would like to do what I can to help fight against this deadly disease.

INTRODUCTION

Who would have thought about the challenges that women would face with the men of the millennium? What happened to the gentleman that open car doors, take care of their families, and serve as a provider and protector to their wife and children? Are women the blame why these men treat them the way that they do, whether it’s good or bad? Let’s take this opportunity to explore, analyze, and diagnose some of the problems that face women of all races, ages, sizes, and shapes and come up with solutions that can be used to keep more hearts and spirits from being broken. It really don’t matter what color you are, or how pretty you are when it comes to men cheating and the games that they play. Men really have a way of charming themselves right into the lives of women and getting what they want, by playing on their vulnerabilities and utilizing their money, power, and influence. Most women are looking for love in all the wrong places without knowing that the best love comes from within, and the best relationship in the world that they would ever experience, is the one that is formed with God. When you have a personal relationship with god you’re more in tuned with yourself and the things that are going on around you. The strength and power of god gives us the knowledge that we need to build ourselves into powerhouses as we learn self-love and self-respect. This simply means loving yourself enough to know when things are not right, knowing when to let go of a very bad situation, and knowing when god gives you that sign to put your running shoes on and run like you are running a marathon race away from that man that can’t add to your life, but continuously take away from it. These bad relationships zap us of our energy, self-worth, self-assurance, and sanity. They leave us drained, in despair, age us, and deteriorate our health.

A lot of times women stay in relationships that are abusive, whether emotional, mental, verbal or physical, and the question is why? Why has cheating become so prevalent in the U.S. and so widely accepted amongst many women? Is it ok to close your eyes and pretend that this is not happening? Why is the divorce rate so high in the U.S.? As of 2012, the marriage breakup rate for first marriages in the U.S. are 41 to 50%, the rate after second marriages is from 60 to 67%, and the rate in America for third marriages are from 73 to 74%. The single women that are raising children alone are growing at alarming rates. Why are the words commitment and until death do us part taking so lightly in relationships? Why do women have to put up with so much to try and keep their families bonded together? Why are more children becoming fatherless? Minority women seem to be affected more, because of the so called statistical data that tells them that there is a shortage of men amongst their race. How true is this statement, and where does this statistical data actually come from? Although women are faced with many challenges, the question is do they really have to be? There are still good men in this world, who are god-fearing, loving and compassionate, strong, know what responsibility means, will accept you and your children as if they were their own, will treat a woman like a queen and actually have a value system in place with a special level of respect for all women. Women have to open their arms up to receive love, whether it’s from within your own race or someone of another race or nationality. Start with some self-love before opening up to any man, because you have to love yourself enough first in order to love anyone else. You have to be in tuned with what you want as a woman not only for yourself, but if you have children for them as well. It is important to ensure that your children grow up seeing you in a healthy relationship. This will have a long lasting impact on them as they grow up to be young men and women.

FOREWORD

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate, Matthew 19:6

Many women aspire to share a covenant relationship with the opposite sex, and really don’t bargain for being labeled as girlfriend #2, or friend, or baby momma, or any other label or title that is given to them other than wife or fiancé. As young girls and young adults most aspire to be married, with a family and be in a one-on-one committed relationship. Let’s talk about a covenant relationship that is shared between two people, which can be defined in several different ways, and is often referred to as a mutual agreement or a contract shared between all parties involved. Let’s look at how a covenant relationship is defined from a biblical perspective and how this can help you develop a more fruitful and long-lasting relationship with the opposite sex. If you are seeking marriage and not just a causal relationship than this is some very important information that I would like to share with you. A true marriage is a covenant agreement whereas each partner agree to be with one another for better, for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, etc., whatever you choose to add to your personal vows but the two of you also agree to share your bodies with one another. Remember that a marriage is not a contract. A contract takes the form of a written document whereas a covenant is based upon an unwritten promise that is often sealed with a sworn verbal oath or act. It involves promises and commitments that are shared between both partners who become married. Once the commitment is made between the man and woman they are held accountable for the bond that is shared by god. I say to you, if you’re not ready for a serious committed one-on-one relationship than you should just date, have fun, protect yourself and respect yourself.

CHAPTER 1

Cultivating a Healthy and

Fruitful Relationship

When cultivating a healthy and fruitful relationship, this simply means that the relationship will be a win-win for both parties involved. It is important as women to begin a relationship with honesty, integrity, respect and trust. Without these things in place, it could be a recipe for disaster.

How does one