The Five Laws of Love: Enriching the Love Within

By Dr. Judith Stay Moore

Inspiring, riveting and unflinching, author Dr. Judith Moore takes the reader on an epic emotional journey with a Hopi girl and her brother from the mesas of northern Arizona to the Pueblo de Los Angeles. Moore weaves a tale of diverse cultures, religions and beliefs while the characters learn through their experiences how to increase in love, forgiveness, joy and gratitude.

In The Five Laws of Love, Moore offers a juxtaposition of memoir, fiction, psychology, and religion to show there is more about each of us that is the same than that which is different. By knowing how we are the same and honoring our differences, she teaches how we can grow more in our love for ourselves and others.

Through meditations which can be downloaded, the reader can learn more deeply how to live the Five Laws of Love and find greater joy and peace in this life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Oct 15, 2018
• ISBN: 9781982213473

Dr. Judith Stay Moore

Dr. Judi lives in a log cabin called Shiver Me Timbers in the mountains above the small mountain village of Midway, Utah, in the beautiful Heber Valley. She is an osteopathic physician and medical director of the Diamond Spring Wellness Center in Midway. She specializes in treating chronic and difficult cases, looking for the cause rather than simply treating the symptoms. She treats both physical and emotional illness, as she feels the mind and spirit affect the body and vice versa. Dr. Judi is mother to seven children, grandmother to twenty, and great-grandmother to one at the time of this writing, and she expects her prosperity to continue to grow both in numbers and in love.

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Copyright © 2018 Dr. Judith Stay Moore.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1346-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1348-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1347-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018912006

Balboa Press rev. date: 10/12/2018

Also by Judith S. Moore

Behind the Smile: My Journey Out of Postpartum Depression by Marie Osmond, Marcia Wilkie, and Judith S. Moore

Healing from the Heart: The Inherent Power to Heal from Within; also includes two guided imagery CDs

First Night and Beyond: A Guide to Intimacy and Sexual Fulfillment for Newlyweds by M. Douglas Moore and Judith S. Moore

Between Two Minds: Healing from Depression and Anxiety for LDS Women by Judith S. Moore

Between Two Minds Workbook: 10 Techniques for Healing from Depression and Anxiety by Judith S. Moore

To Dennis Remington, MD, a magnificent

mentor who taught me that it is good thing

to love my patients.

To all my patients, who repeatedly teach me what love really is.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Epilogue

About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I give a grand thank-you to all my seven children and their spouses along with my twenty grandchildren. Through their reactions to my behaviors and words, they have taught me what is and is not love. Thanks to my son and four grandchildren who lived with me while I was writing a majority of this book for putting up with all my quirks.

I appreciate my loving, hardworking, and dedicated staff at Diamond Springs Wellness Center for their support and infusion of love when I am overwhelmed by the emotional and physical trauma so many of my patients have suffered.

I am grateful for my parents, now deceased, who brought me up in a loving and safe home and who still support and love me from the other side.

I am grateful for my siblings who are great examples of love and service to mankind and who love and support me even when I am different than they are.

I truly appreciate all of you, my readers, and pray that you will receive as much from reading this book as I did in writing it.

INTRODUCTION

I am tired and sick of war.

Its glory is all moonshine.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot

Nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded

Who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

War is hell.

—William Tecumseh Sherman

This introductory quotation was written in 1864 by Union General Sherman, who led some sixty thousand soldiers on a 285-mile rampage from Atlanta to Savannah, Georgia. This infamous Sherman’s March to the Sea is known for the cruelty and scorched earth policy of burning and utterly ransacking everything, leaving the inhabitants with no food or shelter. Sherman is looked down upon by history as a cruel man.

But just as every story in history, the full story is not as simple as that. The war seemed never-ending. General Sherman claimed he did not practice this destructive war out of personal cruelty. Instead he sought to end the war as quickly as possible with the least loss of life on both sides. He claimed he wanted to curtail the slaughter, to make people so sick of the war that they were willing to surrender.

It was similar reasoning that caused the U.S. to drop the atomic bombs on Japan, causing such cruel devastation and illness.

Were these things right or wrong? We cannot know what would have happened in the war between the states or in the war with Japan if these cruelties were not perpetrated. We cannot judge.

I, too, am sick of war—war between nations, civil wars, ethnic cleansing, genocide, wars based on religious beliefs, on greed and power, on fear. Truly, war is hell. But is it right or wrong? If we hadn’t gone to war with Korea, with Vietnam, with Iraq, with the Taliban, with ISIS, would we and they be better off or worse off? I can make assumptions, but I don’t know the whole truth. I cannot judge. But something deep within me speaks, saying there is a better way.

I am also sick of the verbal wars that cause divisions in politics, in ideations, between religions, between races, in sports, in the workplace, between sexes, and those related to sexual orientation. We treat one another with anger and contempt.

It starts at home—families at war, between couples, between parents and children, between siblings, and with extended families. Feelings are hurt, offense is taken, harsh words are exchanged, forgiveness is withheld, and abuses are given.

As a holistic physician, I repeatedly see that the deepest, most harmful war is within our own minds—our feelings of inadequacy, not being good enough, not worthy, not lovable, believing we are better than some and worse than others, feeling there is never enough. It all translates into either self-aggrandizement or self-punishment, affecting our physical and mental health.

Through the millennia mankind has too often focused on the differences between individuals, cultures, races, sexes, religions, and beliefs rather than the human thoughts, feelings, and desires that are all the same, the things about us that would bring us together. When we focus on our differences, it results in judgment and divisiveness, often leading us to becoming enemies and leading to abuse, war, and destruction. If we choose to focus on those feelings and desires that are the same in each of us, we can come together in peace and cooperation.

We have forgotten what love is. So often we believe we are loving when we are actually acting from fear.

The purpose of this book is to remember that there is more about each of us that is the same than that which is different. Through the knowledge of that sameness and through honoring our differences, we can grow more like God in our love for ourselves and for others.

All anyone really desires is to love and be loved, from the king to the pauper. The happiness we each seek is simply that feeling of being loved and being able to love. We have just forgotten what God’s love really is. Some believe if they have enough power, they will have that feeling. Others seek riches for the same purpose. Some believe if they put others down, they will feel better about themselves. Some seek love in the high of substances, often leading to addictions. Others believe they can find it in sexual promiscuity. Some believe they will only be loved if they do everything perfectly. Others believe they must please everyone and constantly worry about what others think of them. Still, others believe they must be in control and right all the time.

Everyone is seeking to fill the hole in their hearts caused by not having been loved perfectly. But like filling a hole in the ground with water, trying to fill the hole with possessions or actions only fills the hole temporarily. There is no right or wrong ways to try to fill this hole, but these substitutes are simply mirages of the real thing. They do not really give us the powerful love we seek for.

I grew up in a conservative Mormon (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or LDS) family. My parents were the best examples I could have for striving to live as Jesus asked. They weren’t perfect—and none of us are—but I watched over the years as they constantly strived to improve themselves and especially improve how they treated others and served them. I have watched my siblings follow my parents’ example, doing incredible things to reduce the suffering in the world and striving to love one another. I couldn’t have come from a better family.

My father was in the US Air Force in my early years, so we moved around a lot, and we usually lived in places where there weren’t many Mormons. Therefore, my friends came from every faith and no faith. I spent time with friends at Catholic Mass, Protestant summer Bible school, Lutheran youth group, Episcopalian services, and more.

I learned at an early age that there are good people in all religions and that no religion holds a monopoly on faith, goodness, and miracles. I found that the good in each religion is similar to the good in all religions. And that good is in teaching one another to seek our higher power for inspiration, teaching others how to be our best selves and how to love. Even atheism and agnosticism have their place, for as people let go of the belief systems that they felt bound them down, they are freer to become who they really are.

Now that I am headed into the winter of my life, I also see the harm that religion can do. Religions are human institutions striving to bring people to God or to their own personal progression. Hopefully, those human leaders are truly striving to receive inspiration from their higher power; however, at times in history, religion has been selfish and cruel, and the leaders have made horrible blunders by seeking power and gain rather than the highest good of the individual. Many also create much pain by believing that forcing people to do what is right (or what they believe is right) is the only answer, even if it entails private or public ostracism, violence, or war. Sometimes the belief that my religion is better than yours creates an unhealthy pride.

Many religions stopped coming from a place of love and turned their religion into a source of fear. They do not truly understand what the love of God is. Doctrines or cultures built around a religion may cause judgment that others are bad. Some members may feel self-hate because they believe they are unable to live the beliefs of that religion. Rules and regulations may become overwhelming so that no one can be totally obedient. They teach love, but that love is based on conditions and restricted freedom. They love others, but only if the others agree with and live their beliefs, values, rules, and perceptions.

Loved ones may be shunned or judged as bad or wrong if they do things different than the religion dictates or if they leave the family religion. They face separation, excommunications, exclusion, and sometimes death as an unbeliever. Some belief systems open the door to misogyny and abuse, at times even while teaching the opposite. We can see extremes in the Christian Crusades, the Catholic Inquisition, ISIS, etc., but most religions and societies have some cultural facet of conditional love, hierarchy, and judgment.

I believe that one of the greatest blessings of the United States of America is that people of all religions have been gathered here from all over the world. The founding fathers wished to create a new world where people were free to live in equality and justice and also free to practice their religion. The ideal America has true freedom of religion where different religions and spiritual beliefs are practiced side by side and communities are intermingled.

However, religions and communities tend to remain segregated. Cultural walls are built, and often people from different religions, cultures and races, even though they are neighbors, start to fear and even denigrate one another. But a careful review of history shows us that America grows richer as it wisely integrates all humanity, which creates an influence for good in the world.

I recognize that I have weaknesses, and I am open to the possibility that I may be wrong in my beliefs. Through my life I have made many mistakes in my relationships by not truly understanding what love really is. It is good for mistakes to come to light so that we can change them if possible. Mistakes and failures are not signs of weakness if we can acknowledge our role in them and work on changing them.

If we start acknowledging how we have been part of the suffering in our own lives because we believe things that are based in fear, then little by little our religions and governments can change as well. I don’t often see change come from the top down. Usually, it starts in individual hearts and then expands to groups and communities that change and influence those running the show.

Brigham Young said,

It is our duty and calling, as ministers of the same salvation and Gospel, to gather every item of truth and reject every error. Whether a truth be found with professed infidels, or with the Universalists, or the Church of Rome, or the Methodists, the Church of England, the Presbyterians, the Baptists, the Quakers, the Shakers, or any other of the various and numerous different sects and parties, all of whom have more or less truth, it is the business of the Elders … to gather up all the truths in the world pertaining to life and salvation, … to the sciences, and to philosophy, wherever it may be found in every nation, kindred, tongue, and people. (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Chpt. 2)

We are all a human family. Rather than criticizing and tearing down our own or another’s religion, culture, or ideology and rather than denigrating and excluding other races, cultures, and anyone who is not like us, which comes from fear, we can each gather the good, the golden nuggets, that we have learned from our own and other cultures, religions, upbringings, and belief systems. I choose to love that good, hold onto all the golden nuggets I have sought and learned from my religion and all religions, beliefs, cultures, and sciences. We can then build on that good to accept and love ourselves and one another, to be one in our love and service to one another, no matter what religion or what type of God or political persuasion we may or may not believe in.

I see a time when religious and spiritual groups are places where we can all feel the love of God, a love combined with wisdom and power, where there is no judgment, where service is given because of that love instead of what others will think and how they will be judged.

I personally believe in a higher power, creator, or source energy that I call God. I do not have a full understanding of what or who that is, but I have come to know the wise and powerful love and inspiration that comes from that source. My religious tradition makes God a male, so it is easy to use male pronouns when speaking of God, as that is what I grew up with. But my religious tradition also believes in a female God as our Heavenly Mother, so I could just as easily use female pronouns. In this book I am using the traditional male pronouns when I talk of this source, and I use the word God because that is easiest for me. But I am open to learning new and wonderful things about this source energy when it is my time to graduate from this earth life. You can substitute whatever pronouns or words make you most comfortable.

I believe that the human heart has the capacity to learn and change, to let go of fear and judgment, and to become truly loving. I believe that humankind can change, and we can achieve freedom, peace, and harmony on this planet that we call home. It is not impossible to consider the reality of peace in our hearts and in the world if we learn and put into practice the true principles of love. I pray that this book may assist somewhat in this change.

Through the fictional experiences of one woman and her brother, this book looks at diverse cultures, religions, and beliefs in an attempt to bring together the message and remembrance of what love really is so that in this remembrance we can each shift toward love and change the war in our own hearts.

This book is also somewhat autobiographical, relating a few of my own experiences, mistakes, and successes combined with the story of historical fiction. The incidences from my own life are true as I remember them, though others may remember them differently. I have attempted to make the stories about Talking Bird/Rosita historically and culturally correct, and I have brought into the story actual people from the history of Los Angeles and Southern California (San Gabriel Mission, the Tapia family, Rancho Cucamonga, Father Bachelot, Isaac Williams, the Olveras, and other more minor characters). However, what they say and teach is fictional. I’m sure there are inaccuracies in the cultures, history, and time frame, but I have done my best to stay as true to the historical information that was available in creating a fictional piece.

The accompanying meditations, which can be downloaded from my author website (discount code 5laws), are to assist in discovering what is truly in our own hearts to allow for personal change if necessary. These meditations can be listened to any time, but there are also specific areas in the book where the reader is directed to listen to a specific meditation. You can listen to them multiple times if desired. If enough of us heal our hearts and come to peace within ourselves, we can begin to heal the divisiveness in our families, in our communities, in our nations, and in the world. As the Native Americans teach, we can come together as a rainbow bridge of very different colors, creating harmony and beauty.

There is a lot of suffering described in the stories in this book. However, as I come closer to God and feel His love, I find an interesting thing about suffering. One can be in great pain and yet know an amazing joy. It’s like suffering opens the heart up so that heavenly joys may enter in. As I give my suffering to God for my own growth and the growth of those who do not yet know that exquisite, perfect love, I often feel a hope, peace, and love that seems beyond normal earthly experience.

It took me sixteen years to write this book. May you enjoy reading it in a faster time frame!

Judith Stay Moore

September 2018

THE FIVE LAWS OF LOVE

Love is letting go of fear.

Love has a grateful and forgiving heart.

Loving self is loving God.

Love in action is giving and receiving service with compassion.

Love does what is for the highest good.

CHAPTER

1

Love is letting go of fear.

Love has a grateful and forgiving heart.

Loving self is loving God.

Love in action is giving and receiving service with compassion.

Love does what is for the highest good.

When it first happened around 1954, I must have been only three years old. From the beginning I had little fear about starting out on new adventures. My parents later said that I was a wanderer and would often disappear when playing outside. Our dog Pokey would come with me, so my mother would call the dog, note what direction he came from, and go that way to find me.

I don’t know how correct this story is as it is from an imperfect memory from what happened long ago, filled in by my mother. We lived in a house in Provo, Utah, right next to Brigham Young University, where my father, a World War II veteran bomber pilot, was starting the US Air Force ROTC.

We rented the top part of the house, and a student family with a daughter named Carolyn, who was about my age, rented the basement. They were going somewhere. I don’t remember where, but they asked if I could go with them. My mother said no, and they took off. Apparently, I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. While my mother was busy with my little brother, I took off with my doll in my toy baby buggy to go find my friend. We lived a half block from University Avenue, so I headed there and went south, walking block after block.

I remember coming to a busy street with a stoplight and waiting for it to change to green so I could cross. A lady stopped and talked to me and took me across the street to a square building, which was the old police station. I remember a big policeman at a big desk asking me questions. I apparently knew my name but not much else. He then gave me a piece of Black Jack gum, and I fell asleep in the corner on a blanket. I don’t remember being afraid.

My mother said that they were looking for me and heard over the radio that I was at the police station. They were grateful I was safe, but I’m sure I was scolded.

Around the same time, Carolyn, another girl, and I were playing and decided we were hungry. My family had recently gone to a little restaurant close by called Old King Cole (later Heaps A Pizza and now Brick Oven Pizza), which was only a block from our house. All we knew was that it was a place where you got food, so we went over there and sat down at a table. I remember the red-and-white checkered cloths and chewed gum stuck on the bottom of the table. Then my father came in and angrily scolded me. I didn’t know what I had done wrong, but I felt like I was bad.

When I was about seven, we had been living in Lincoln, Nebraska, for about a year. I was shy and struggled with making friends, and the two girls my age in the neighborhood had locked me out of their group for a while. Then one of the girls who lived across the street from us, another Carol, invited me over to play. Soon her mother said that their family had arrived and that they were starting their barbeque. She invited me to eat with them. I ran home to ask my mother, who said no. However, I didn’t want to mess up this friendship, so I went anyway. My brother saw me in their backyard and tattled on me. My mother came to get me, and I was scolded in front of everyone for my disobedience. I felt embarrassed and guilty, and I knew I was bad.

There are many events like this in my life, times when I was disobedient to my parents’ authority because of what I felt were my own needs. I wasn’t a bad girl by any means, and in general, I was obedient to my parents and to the church I grew up in. I was just a typical child. However, small incidents like these caused me to believe I was bad. Over a childhood of incidents and other well-meant criticisms by my parents, I held a lot of guilt and felt like I wasn’t good enough. These feelings are common among most of us. We come from a place of incredible and perfect love into a darkened world that doesn’t understand true love. My parents were good parents, but I still felt bad about myself because of some of their words and actions. It wasn’t their fault; it was how they were taught by their own parents.

Many people have abusive parents, and their negative feelings about themselves are often even stronger. We quickly lose the natural love we have for ourselves when we come to this earth. We learn to dislike and criticize ourselves. This takes us away from what true love is. We are a part of God. Loving ourselves is loving God. Most of us have forgotten how to love ourselves.

There are times when our innocent disobedience causes something bad to happen. Then our guilt seems never-ending. We forget that the most important love in this world is the ability to love ourselves. Loving ourselves is loving God, who created us all for a purpose—strengths and weaknesses together. We may live for a long time, blaming ourselves for not being good enough, wise enough, or obedient enough to have kept tragedy from happening. Such was the case with Talking Bird.

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T he small dark heads bobbed up and down among the crimson and gold of the autumn leaves as little feet followed the game path up the mountain. Giggles were heard as Mochni [Talking Bird] and Little Leetayo [Fox] chased dragonflies and enticed chipmunks with pine nuts. The children were excited to climb the mountain alone, doing the work usually done by older ones. Talking Bird had made the trip a few times before with Father, but this was the first time for Little Fox. The old woman’s urgent need allowed them now to enjoy the trip as only children could when left to themselves.

Their father and mother and many from their village had come to the sacred Nuva’tukya’ovi mountains west of their ancient mesas for a ceremony and hunting trip as they did yearly. Their father was hunting with the men, and Mother was gathering plants for the old woman as the healing plants were more plentiful here than in their desert home.

The old woman required some of the sacred water for her winter medicines. The sacred mountain, where the kachinas lived, gave its gift of the cold spring with a clear pool about halfway up. As the village medicine woman, the old woman sought the pure water from its sacred source. Talking Bird had accompanied her father, the old woman’s son, to the spring the last two times the leaves had changed color. This year the men had been gone a little longer than usual with their hunting, and Mother, still nursing the baby, had reluctantly given permission for the children to fetch the water for their grandmother after many warnings to listen to the voices of danger and to return before the sun slept. They promised, and they started their journey at dawn.

Talking Bird of the Badger Clan had been given her name by