Don't Take My Cookie! It Must Be Earned

By Chainn L. Gahagan Sr.

There are many ways to go about developing your relationship but which way is right for you. Don't Take My Cookie! It Must Be Earned was inspired by the many relationships author Chainn Gahagan Sr.has encountered throughout his life journey. Some of these encounters are based upon his relationships, but some were based upon the relationships of others. Why did these women made such drastic and detrimental decisions in their relationships?

Girls are losing their virginity at an early age, hooking up with drug heads and drug dealers, experimenting with drug usewhich can lead to a whole host of other problematic situationsand using their sexuality to acquire money for themselves. This is not the way our girls should grow up!

Somehow, the teachings that needed to be passed down from generation to generation are becoming things of the past. Although the horrors of this broken system are undeniable, all it will take to turn the tide are people who can impart knowledge, wisdom, and understanding to those who are lostpeople who will listen to their pain and give them a hug to nullify the errors of their past ways. The sooner we can get to them, the better.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 22, 2010
• ISBN: 9781450256094

Chainn L. Gahagan Sr.

Chainn Gahagan Sr. currently lives in Dallas, Texas. He grew up in East Texas in a town called Terrell, Texas. He earned a BS in health and physical education from Louisiana Tech University. He and his wife have two sons. This is his first book.

Book preview

Contents

Dedication:

Preface:

Introduction:

Chapter 1: The Chef

Chapter 2: The Power of the Cookie

Chapter 3: The Cookie Jar

Chapter 4: Analyzing Cookie Monsters

Chapter 5: The Recipe

Chapter 6: How the Cookie Crumbles

Chapter 7: Cookie Dough

Chapter 8: What Kind of Cookie am I

Chapter 9: Shaping the Dough

Chapter 10: Straight Out of the Oven

Chapter 11: Stale Cookies

Chapter 12: Cookie Cutters

(Recognizing Game)

Conclusion:

Dedication:

I would like to thank God for everything that I am and everything I have accomplished in my life. He is the source for all of my successes and the inspiration to my life-long endeavors. He is my perfect father who sits on high to watch and guide my every step. He is the measure of all my pursuits and the beginning to my journeys ahead.

I would like to thank the many relationships I have had the pleasure of experiencing during my high school and college years. My voyage began when a simple seed of curiosity about the inter-workings of what makes a good relationship work and what makes a bad one fall apart, began to grow.

I would like to thank my parents for doing their best to raise me and my brothers to become the men we are today. Although there were times we struggled, we made the best out of every situation that came our way. To my mom, thank you for walking the walk and not just talking the talk. Your prayers for your children are forever realized in us. Every step of the way you have been there even when you had to sacrifice your own needs to take care of ours. Thank you Charr and Cody for being the kind of brothers that anyone would be proud to have. You both have allowed me to develop my personality to mimic the love and closeness we share. You have given me a strong pattern of how I should raise my boys.

I would also like to thank my wife Quin for standing strong by my side even when it wasn’t comfortable. Thank you for learning, sharing, and yielding to your husband’s vision for our family’s life even when the road we traveled was unclear. Thank you for believing in God’s promises for those that believe and are willing to develop the patience, the discipline, and the submission to God’s plan and will for their lives.

Thank you to my former colleagues at Richwood High School, Madison Middle School, Malvern Elementary, and Adamson High School for giving me the material to expand and develop my determination to grow beyond the norm (the status quo). Thank you all for solidifying the work I needed to do, to set my mind free to become what God meant for each and every one of us. Thank you to my students I have taught along the way. You are truly a peculiar bunch. Your love is pure, your innocence is genuine, and your convictions are inspiring. I have found no greater pleasure than to impart my knowledge and wisdom to guide you to become greater than us all. A parent’s hope is for his/her children to live on to surpass the current generation’s successes and blunders and pave the way to a better society for us all. This is what I see in you. Never limit your capacity to equal another man’s weakness. Live beyond the impossibilities of others. Soar higher than the eagles and let the clouds say, Although we ride high above the mountain tops, the capabilities of man are far beyond it.

Last of all, thank you Amway Corporation and the BWW System for developing the inner man in me and giving me a vehicle to release the potential that was hidden inside. Thank you for continuing to make a difference in the lives of so many families as well as others across the globe so that our own dreams may come true.

Preface:

This book was inspired by the many relationships I have encountered throughout my journey in life. Some of these encounters were in my own relationships but most were from the interactions of others. I have often wondered why these women made such drastic and detrimental decisions when it came to the relationships they carried. Girls are losing their virginity at an early age, hooking up with drug heads and drug dealers, experimenting with drug use which can lead to a whole host of other problematic situations, using their sexuality to acquire money for themselves, etc. This is not the way our girls should grow up! Where is the guidance from our parents and our grandparents? Where are our young ladies safeguards to a more fruitful and enjoyable life? Somewhere and at some point these things were lost. Somehow the teachings that needed to be passed down from our generations are slowly dwindling into something of a myth. As I contemplate the horrors of this broken system, I am reminded that all it takes are people who can impart knowledge, wisdom, and understanding to those who are lost. It takes people who will give an ear to their pain and a hug to nullify the errors of their past ways. The earlier we can get to them, the better.

How does this lack of proper information for our girls affect their lives as women? How do negative activities affect their lives in the future? Unfortunately, when our women fail to learn the lessons they should have learned early in their child hood, they become broken and confused to what is necessary to build and sustain a meaningful relationship. Being totally committed to one person and sharing all they have becomes a thing of the past. Protecting the biggest part of who she is becomes more important. Her HEART! No longer will she accept the slightest error in her relationship. No longer will she commit her actions to one person. She will begin committing several pieces of herself to many people thus safeguarding any disappointments that often come from building something meaningful with one person. She will not allow herself to be hurt any longer but will be the one who hurts others. She will tame her heart to care less, to not feel pain, and to never be taken advantaged of again. She will become heartless. She transforms herself into an impenetrable force. It is no longer other people who are hurtful, but it is she who becomes the very thing that she hates and despises. She has now become a tool to perpetuate her fears, her distorted logic, and her menacing ways to all those who fall in her path. She is not the hope and the vision for our future. She is not the blueprint for what it means to be the cornerstone of every house, the pulse and heart beat for her home, or the stability future families will have as a refuge for safe keeping.

What will it take? I wonder! I wonder if the very thing that has caused this pain is the very thing that is needed to heal and mend the wounds of her fallen path. I wonder if what is needed is what so many of us are afraid to openly explore. I wonder if LOVE is the key to healing all the pain and hurt we have experienced. It is just that. A loving heart with a stable mind will conquer all fear and doubt. Love will project a new reality and a new purpose driven era. Hold on to and develop your precious gift. You are not far from having all there is to having a loving relationship. You just need the patience to endure and the steadiness to continue the course that is before you. You are not alone. You were never alone but you have to work for it and never compromise.

Introduction:

The cookie is a representation of a woman’s attributes. It is the complete essence that women share. It is the embodiment from which women derive their strength. The cookie resembles the many facets of womanhood that help define her characteristics. It is the focus of that which allows her to endure and persevere. It is the revelation of occurrences that has marked her coming. She is the source in which love thrives and the passion for which it sustains. When she learns to value her self worth, the effect is for men to do the same. This is how a man is to earn her time. This is how men should respect and value who she is. When a woman does not compromise her value she will not accept the imitations of men. She will crave for the true man to cover her. In that, all men will become better because of their struggle be one with her. His hold will never be broken from her grasp. He will become better because of her uncompromising fortitude.

With what seems to be a shifting of patriarchal roles, there has been too much speculation concerning men and their behavior. The contributions of men are necessary to bring stability to the household. Men are the pillars of every society. We need to understand men’s actions from a man’s perspective if we are to sustain a working relationship. The major difference between a man and a woman are the way each think. Women think from an emotional view point and the man, a logical view point. This understanding is key to bridging the gap for the purposes of keeping that special someone you can call your own. When we seek to understand, many things are revealed. With the right understanding we become more patient and helpful because we realize the limitations or the true potential one has. This may help to validate the work that is needed to build the relationship where it should be.

We must begin to stabilize the relationship by establishing a strong foundation. This foundation comes with understanding that the man is the head (leader) of the household. Genesis 3:16 says, to the woman, "I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and [in] thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." Symbolically, the man is equal to the head and has been given the authority to rule. His rule shall be over the woman. There can be no contradictions to this fact. Man alone is the only one who can receive this precious gift. Doubting this fact will forever put your love life in an imbalanced state of confusion.

So, what does the head represent? It seems very surprising to me that the head houses four of the five senses needed for our survival (sight, hearing, taste, and smell). All of these senses allow your man to gather information in to make decisions for his family and the people around him. He must use all of these gifts to make sense of his environment. Over time he will ultimately use these gifts to improve his situation for the benefit of everyone. These four senses help him to effectively lead his house. They are necessary for his leadership to be accurate. You must help to develop him in these areas as he moves closer to maturing his self to lead. Here are some characteristics to each of these senses: Sight (having a vision and setting goals that are necessary for success; seeing beyond present circumstances), Hearing (listen more to gather information; this is key to attaining wisdom, understanding, and developing the heart to know when to show compassion without being mislead), Taste (having the ability to separate or organize complex situations and circumstances), and Smell (to know a things essence by taking it all in and following ones spirit ).

Within the house, the head needs the body (the woman) to get work done. How can he do anything that is meaningful alone? He cannot. He needs your help. Touch is the last of the five senses that completes the body’s ability to function properly. This sense is left for the helper in the relationship, the woman. The characteristics of touch include: having the ability to create and be creative, to help reveal the path/direction (to make it clear), to help remove obstacles, and to help create balance. Genesis 2:18 says, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet [helper] for him." Part of the helper’s role is to do the work needed for the head to accomplish his goals and to cultivate the environment so he is void of distractions. Without the head, the body is lost. When the body is lost, it is subjected to its own emotions without having the checks and balances to keep it on tract (the brain/head). The body has the capacity to take in many different sensations which are needed to make sense of the environment around us. Without the head, the body is left confused and disoriented by all that is coming into itself. The body needs the head for direction and guidance. Combining these strengths will allow for a strong and prosperous union.

The head’s goals (men) are to find ways to support and sustain the family. His obligation is to his home first. Have you ever seen the boss of a new company direct the day to day operations while always away from the job? I don’t think so! That is almost unheard of. It is vital that the man run his house. A man that does not take care of the day to day operations of his home does not gain the respect of his house. A man that does not take care of his own house is perceived worse than an