Dear Therapist: My Daughter’s Boundaries Are Preventing Us From Having a Relationship

Editor’s Note: On the last Monday of each month, Lori Gottlieb answers a reader’s question about a problem, big or small. Have a question? Email her at dear.therapist@theatlantic.com.

Don't want to miss a single column? Sign up to get “Dear Therapist” in your inbox.

Dear Therapist,

My daughter is in her late 20s and I am 65. She was married last summer and has no children.

I have felt for many years that she has kept me at arm’s length, starting in her early teens, and it seems to have worsened in recent years. We had many clashes during her wedding planning over things like attire, my choice of song for the father-daughter dance, and the guest list, to name just a few.

My wife and I got to the point of saying virtually nothing in the weeks before the wedding so as to not have her upset with us on her wedding day. The wedding was beautiful and went off without a hitch, although my wife and I both felt that our daughter didn’t include us as much