Unstoppable Joy: The Art of Finding Hope, Healing, and Happiness

By Dr. Nicole Robinson

We all struggle. We doubt our abilities, and we feel hopeless about our future. For some of us, these struggles manifest as depression, and for others, as a rough patch. In difficult times, we lean on our friends for comfort and guidance. We consult that one person with the wisdom and courage to tell us exactly what we need to hear.

In <

• Language: English
• Publisher: Purposely Created Publishing Group
• Release date: May 5, 2016
• ISBN: 9781942838777

Book preview

img1.jpg

UNSTOPPABLE JOY

Published by Purposely Created Publishing Group™

Copyright © 2016 Nicole Marie Robinson

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form by any means, graphics, electronics, or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, taping, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, quotes, or references.

PUBLISHER DISCLAIMER: This book is based on the opinions and ideas of the author, third parties, and current research. It is not to be considered as providing any professional medical, health, or psychological services of any kind. It is not meant to diagnose or treat any physical or mental health problems or concerns. This book is also not to be used as a substitute for diagnosis, treatment, or professional services or assistance.

The author is not a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. Therefore, the reader should obtain professional help if needed or required. The reader should also consult with his or her doctor, therapist, or other trained medical personnel before implementing the suggestions, tips, advice, or techniques contained in this book.

The author and publisher are not responsible for any liability, loss, risk, or other consequences that occur from reading, using, or implementing its contents both directly and indirectly.

Printed in the United States of America

ISBN (ebook): 978-1-942838-77-7

ISBN (paperback): 978-1-942838-76-0

Special discounts are available on bulk quantity purchases by book clubs, associations and special interest groups. For details email: [e-mail] or call [phone].

For information log on to:

www.PublishYourGift.com

To my almighty Lord, my wonderful mother, Sandra Land, and my beloved grandparents, Cleophas and Leila Land.

To my loving family, my soulmate Aaron Ferguson, and all individuals struggling with their mental health. I love you all.

Table of Contents

Foreword By Natasha L. Frye

Reflections of Imperfection

Introduction

Chapter One: Preparing for the Journey

Chapter Two: Hope in a Consistent Source of Power

Chapter Three: Accept Reality over Expectations

Chapter Four: Paint Your Own Picture of Joy

Chapter Five: Prepare for Emotional Roadblocks

Chapter Six: Identify yourself as Valuable

Chapter Seven: No More Negative Thinking

Chapter Eight: Eat Smart, Plan Well

Chapter Nine: Self-Care is a Must

Chapter Ten: Secure a Safety Plan

Conclusion

Helpful Resources for the Journey

About the Author

Foreword By Natasha L. Frye

img2.jpg

Everyone has friends that come and go. When things get rough, people—those so-called friends—tend to stray. There are people that will judge you. There are people that will make you feel bad for expressing yourself. Yet there’s always that one person with whom you happen to cross paths, who changes your life forever.

I believe God has a funny way of bringing people together. I bonded with my sister and best friend today through an unexpected encounter. I live in a house in northern Virginia, where roommates move in and out constantly. I had no idea that one roommate who moved in as a doctoral student would make such a huge impact.

At first, we didn’t really say much. Gradually, we found ourselves confiding in each other with conversations that lasted for hours. Then one day I was told she was moving back home to Buffalo, New York. We hung out and chatted as much as we could until it was time for us to say goodbye.

It’s funny how a friendship can flourish when everyone is gone and all is silent.

When she left, it seemed as if our friendship grew stronger.

During the good times, we were there for each other. When she received her doctorate in 2012, I was there to cheer her on as she walked across the stage. I was so proud of a young woman not even 30 years old making such a great mark in her life … and the world. When my own family was not there to cheer me on as I received my master’s degree, she was there for support.

In bad times, we saw each other through the pain.

On September 12, 2014, I was at my lowest. I was hit by a drunk driver. Upon graduating, I had received no job offers. I had no money, no food, and no car. My body went numb, and I didn’t want to deal with life anymore. Then, everything went dark.

I had a box cutter, and I started to cut myself.

I reached out to many people, but she was the only one who answered. She stayed on the phone with me for hours trying to get me to a hospital. I refused, but she never gave up on me. Upon hanging up, she contacted crisis services in my area. As a result, two police officers showed up at my door to help me.

She was in another state, but she saved my life.

Did I want to die?

No.

I merely wanted someone to show she cared.

Even after the incident, my friend never judged or asked questions; she simply accepted me.

Although we’ve gone through many hardships over the years, we’ve always managed to keep each other encouraged. I’ve never met someone so full of compassion, and her caring nature extends well beyond our friendship into the classroom. As one of the most humble and intelligent minds I’ve ever encountered, she is among the greatest professors any student could ask for in higher education.

Her name is Nicole Robinson, Ph.D., or as I call her, the good doctor.

I’m so honored to call her my friend, my sister, my angel.

Reflections of Imperfection

Never good enough, never to be

The person in the mirror is not she

The woman who was is clearly long gone

a different being now belongs.

Behind all the laughter refreshed anew,

the smiles she hopes you’ll continuously view,

Lies darkness down in the center of mind

that holds a pain scale marked one-of-a-kind.

Beyond love and care found deep in her heart,

many often miss the most ironic part.

The love she feels for everyone else

is the very same love she can’t give to herself.

They say she’s a blessing—tender loving and dear.

She can’t recognize qualities she refuses to hear.

They don’t seem to fit the mirror’s reflection.

It screams unworthiness; no love, no affection.

Until she believes, she’ll fight off the sorrow,

holding hands with her Lord to face another tomorrow.

If those she loves can love her in distress,

then she can keep hope for true happiness.

© Dr. Nicole M. Robinson

Introduction

The toughest lesson in finding joy is learning how to let go of the desire to lead a perfect life in an imperfect world. True happiness evolves when you allow yourself to see the beauty in those imperfections.

For over 20 years, I’ve dealt with depression.

I’m not talking about the I have a pimple, so I refuse to go out the house today type of depression. I’m talking about the type of sadness that asks, What’s the point of leaving the house at all?

For the longest time, I thought of joy like perfection—you try your best to obtain it, but everyone knows you can never reach it. Thus, I managed my depression like many people within the African American community. I labeled it stress, brushed it off, and kept moving. I wasn’t content with my life, but I desperately tried to make the necessary adjustments.

Until one day I grew tired of being sad.

I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

At some point, it actually became easier for me to tackle the reason I was unhappy instead of staying that way. Finally, I was ready to be honest with myself. Glancing in the mirror, I murmured the words my soul had been longing to hear: I’m the hold up. I’m the only person stopping myself from being happy.

Needless to say, admitting the harsh truth that I didn’t want to be happy was a life-changing experience. There was a sense of comfort in neglecting happiness. Actually, I had been taught to ignore my mental health since childhood. I thought being unhappy made me stronger. If I never accepted joy, then I was already prepared for the tough times. If I hung on to disappointment, then I could face the difficulties of life