Straight Up: A Guide to a Better Bar Experience

By Cooper D Ville

This book is designed to educate the average patron on what represents respectable behaviour in clubs, bars and restaurants in western countries. For some reason, only a small few seem able to crack this code, which makes our jobs (meaning bartenders/hostesses/hosts/security/djs/coat check/kitchen staff and owners) much more difficult than most patrons may understand. This book will outline the very, very, very, bad things you should never do at the bar/club/restaurant, and answer the questions you have but are afraid to ask like, why did I get kicked out or, why does the bartender always ignore me? I’ve had way too many kids these days ruin my fine bar experience by being douchebags, but having no idea why they can’t get good service! But, like I said, it’s only partly about me, it’s mostly about you. So, for your entertainment, you’ll hear my side of the story and some stories to help explain what you’re doing wrong.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Mar 27, 2013
• ISBN: 9781300882626

Book preview

Straight Up: A Guide to a Better Bar Experience

Straight Up: A Guide To A Better Bar Experience

First Edition

Copyright © Cooper D Ville 2013

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission from the Publisher.

To Shannon

This never would have been possible without you.  I wouldn’t have wanted to share this with anyone else.

ISBN: 978-1-300-88262-6

Written by: Cooper D Ville

Edited by: Shannon Cooper

Cover Photo Copyright © Kyle Chartier 2013

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AUTHORCOOPERDVILLE

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This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/ or send a letter to:

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Introduction

This book is designed to educate the average patron on what represents respectable behaviour in clubs, bars and restaurants in western countries. For some reason, only a small few seem able to crack this code, which makes our jobs (meaning bartenders/hostesses/hosts/security/djs/coat check/kitchen staff and owners) much more difficult than most patrons may understand.

On our part, those times you have gotten so drunk you can’t remember - on holidays, friend’s birthdays, and ‘any excuse to drink’ nights – are nights that we are working – at our jobs. And, although you usually think you’re fine, I’m sad to tell you that even the nicest sober patron can become the most annoying person EVER - such that - if you had to listen to or deal with yourself in this state, you might just hang yourself with fishing line. Furthermore, it is a common misconception that, when we are working, we badly need the money – so we will put up with any behaviour. Again, sorry to say, this is not the case. Typically, we work these jobs by choice - because we can make more money in one night then a regular 9-5er might make in a week –and cause it’s fun. After paying the bills, it’s not uncommon for us to spend your money doing the same thing you spent your money on, but successfully taking home the hot guy/girl you unsuccessfully tried to hit on.

As for myself, I have been drinking and working in bars since before I was legally old enough to drink. I’ve played every role but the kitchen staff and have travelled the western world, working and getting shitfaced in bars, yet have only been asked to leave very few. I’ve been in situations where the average intoxicated patron would have been tossed out on their ass while the bartender wears their coat home, goes through their pockets, and drunk texts nasty shit to their girlfriend. I have owned two nightclubs before I was 25 and helped some of the sickest bars improve their industry status. So whether you believe it or not, or like it or not, I consider myself pretty fucking qualified when it comes to this shit! I party the better part of the week and always show people a good time (even if they weren’t planning on it).

But, this book is only partly about me. It’s mostly about you. This book will outline the very, very, very, bad things you should never do at the bar/club/restaurant, and answer the questions you have but are afraid to ask like, why did I get kicked out or, why does the bartender always ignore me? I’ve had way too many kids these days ruin my fine bar experience by being douchebags, but having no idea why they can’t get good service! But, like I said, it’s only partly about me, it’s mostly about you. So, for your entertainment, you’ll hear my side of the story and some stories to help explain what you’re doing wrong.

For