How Then Shall We Behave?

By Dr. Judy Barrett

How Then Shall We Behave explores some of the more complicated aspects of Christian behavior. By learning how God wants us to behave, we learn how to live a righteous life; a life that is blessed by God.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Feb 28, 2013
• ISBN: 9781300787181

Book preview

How Then Shall We Behave?

How Then Shall We Behave?

by Dr. Judy Barrett

© 2013 Dr. Judy Barrett, all rights reserved

ISBN# 978-1-300-78718-1

Photography by Matija Barrett

Introduction

Dear Reader,

While this is not a comprehensive guide to Christian behavior it will hopefully answer some of the more difficult questions about how then shall we behave after accepting Christ.

There is much here to think about. Hopefully this book will reinforce what you are doing well, make you think in new ways about what you are struggling with, and give you the words to help those who are struggling with things you have overcome.

This is meant to be a book of encouragement, not condemnation, so if you find yourself becoming upset, ask yourself why. When we don't wish to face something we often become upset. It may be that you feel I am wrong, but it still behooves you to discover why what you see as my mistake causes you to react as passionately as you do. Often, where there is a passionate response, there is an underlying hurt that should be dealt with so that we may move on and deal more reasonably with people who bring  the topic up.

That being said I hope you enjoy this work. While everything in here stems from the Bible I had to live through quite a few of these problems and scenarios to truly understand what they meant, and why they were a problem. Learn from my experiences and soar!

Love, in Christ,

Dr. Judy Barrett

Sin

What is a Sin?

In scripture a sin that breaks your relationship with God occurs when you believe that something is wrong and you do it anyways. Why is this a big deal? Because your behavior shows you know what God wants you to do and just don't care. You are going to do what you want, whenever you want to. Despite what you say, your actions show that God not is the Lord of your life.

There are some interesting twists to this. If you believe something to be a sin and do it, then you have just sinned, whether or not God actually said not to do such a thing. Why? Because you thought God said 'no' and you were determined to do it anyways. You intended to disobey God and this is bad. While you did not actually do something wrong, your actions did indicate that God is not the Lord of your life. (Rom. 14:14)

Sins that were done unintentionally (by mistake), or because you were deceived and did not fully understand what you were doing was wrong do not say that God is not the Lord of your life. They only say that you were not fully aware of the severity of your actions when you did them. There are still consequences for having done the act, since most sins are sins because they are hurtful to you and others. But doing something 'by accident' does not indicate that God is not your 'Lord,' just that you were ignorant of His rules. This is why death came into the world through Adam, not Eve, and why unintentional sin has different consequences. (1 Tim. 2:14)

Convincing other people to sin, and/or not stopping someone when they are sinning, or headed to sin is also a sin. We are responsible for at least warning our brother or sister in Christ. If we know that they know that it is wrong and they are set on doing it anyways then we may walk away. Christianity is 'nice' in that we are required to inform people that they are headed on a bad path that will likely destroy their lives or hurt others, but we are not required to nag. (Ez. 3:18-19)

So what does this look like in 'real life?'

Let me give you an example from ours.

The Harry Potter Series had just come out. Having just adopted children who were determined not to read our family bought the series on audio cassettes (yes, we are that old) and listened to them together hoping to show our older children that reading could be fun and interesting. Since we listened to them and then discussed them as a family we did not see them as 'wrong.' (Our children were in more danger of being illiterate than they were of engaging in witchcraft.) Other families were of a different opinion. What we told our children is that the other children were under the authority of their parents who believed reading the series was wrong. If their friends were to read the series they would be disobeying their parents and doing something they believed God did not want them to do. This is bad. For this reason they were not to go on and on about how good the books were, or about how their parents did not think reading such things was a sin. Their friends were under a different authority. The discussions were therefore to occur between the adults, if they were to occur at all, because not reading Harry Potter was not going to seriously affect anyone's life. The only time the discussions occurred (at our initiation) was when we felt the people involved were misrepresenting the series and making Christians look ignorant and stupid when discussing the issue with non-Christians. This was more to remove stumbling blocks to others coming to Christ than it was to get Christians to believe differently about the books.

There are a few things at work here. We were not 'sinning' because we did not believe reading the series was a sin. We may have been sinning unintentionally because we were 'deceived' into believing this, but this does not break our relationship with God. If we were to be convicted that we had sinned by reading this then we would apologize to God and not read them again.

The people who believed reading the series is a sin would be sinning if they read it for pleasure. (Reading the series to have an informed opinion is different.) If they were reading it for pleasure while believing it was wrong to do so then they would be saying that they do not care if they sin, and this shows a problem with their relationship with God.

Children are entirely different since they are under their parents' authority. Even if the children do not believe reading the series to be a sin, if they were told not to read it, they sin by disobeying their parents, which is a command from God. If we encourage them to disobey their parents, then we sin. For this reason no one is to go behind a parent's back and encourage children to do something that their parents have expressly forbidden the child to do. When the children become adults (out of their parent's house) then they may do what they see as right regardless of what their parents believe.

Believing That We Do Not Sin

Most people who say they do not sin (do anything wrong intentionally or unintentionally) usually have the people who know them snickering behind their back! (Rom. 5:12) Believing you do not sin is often a sign that you are not paying enough attention to the people around you to see exactly how your actions affect them. ‘Bumping’ into others in ways that are not completely wholesome is part of the human condition. Recognizing that we do not handle everything in life perfectly is a sign of maturity. You cannot apologize (repent) if you believe you do nothing wrong. A belief that you are without fault stresses your relationships because no one can talk to you about what they do not enjoy having done to them, since they know the conversation will be fruitless and will merely result in you telling them that they are wrong to feel that way. If you truly think you do no wrong I feel sorry for those around you. Hopefully you are fairly good most of the time, because when you are not their only choice is to suck it up and take whatever you dish out, since your belief leads to a stubborn, non-repentant heart- which is a very ungodly thing.

Thinking that you must be perfect is also a problem. Since we, as humans, have trouble with our flesh and sin, ‘perfection’ is difficult to attain. We are not called to be ‘perfect’ (wholly without sin) but repentant. We are to ‘overcome’ rather than to be already there. When we think that we must be ‘perfect’ we often avoid repenting (since that would be admitting that we missed the mark…). Instead we justify what we did, and twist things so that it looks like ‘technically’ we were right. The problem is, sin often hurts another human being. Someone is left feeling wounded while you explain why you were right to hurt them!

Believing that we are not allowed to mess up also leads us to water down God’s laws. We decide that what we were doing was ‘not really a sin because…’ This type of thinking not only keeps us from repenting, but allows us to continue doing whatever stupid, hurtful thing we just did. And then we wonder why, even though we are so ‘perfect,’ we have no true friends. It must be that everyone else is messed up. Yeah, that’s it. Wrong. The truth is that we are all a bit ‘messed up’ and only those who have figured out how to say they are sorry, and forgive others will have lasting friendships. If you expect perfection from yourself and others everyone will disappoint you. God did not expect us to be ‘perfect’ to be in a relationship with Him. In fact He knew that we would not be, forgave us and sent Jesus to show us that He loves us more than we can know. He allows us to repent of our sins, even after we come to Him. Are you better than God? Then stop holding yourself, and others to standards that even He does not expect! (Rom. 7:14-25)

The Different Aspects of Sin

We have been taught that all sin is equal, and that is true when it comes to destroying your relationship with God. Any willfully and knowingly committed sin tells God that He is not your Lord and master and that you do not believe that you need to obey His rules. This is a deal breaker. It is why all men have sinned and thus deserved to spend an eternity apart from God. Repentance solves this, but who can repent of everything? Our human failings are why Jesus died on the cross, and why belief in Him is the key to eternal life. When we believe we are saying that we can't be perfect, that we will not be able to repent for everything we do and that we need God's mercy in making this relationship work.

On earth however, there are different types of sin. Why? Because a relationship with God (accepting Jesus' as your Lord and Savior) fixes your relationship with God, but there are still people whom you have hurt who you must fix your relationship with as well.

The first type of sin in the Bible occurs when you are 'deceived.' For some reason, you did not fully know that what you were doing was wrong. In scripture we are told that Eve was 'deceived.' Even though Eve took a bite of the forbidden fruit first, death came into the world through Adam because he was the one who ate with full knowledge that what he was doing was wrong. We do not know exactly how Eve was deceived. Some blame Adam for adding to God's rules (notice that what Eve tells the serpent about eating the fruit includes not touching it, which was not in the instructions we were given prior to this in scripture) and they believe that this 'addition' made it easier for Eve to be 'deceived.' (Notice in scripture that God says not to 'add' or 'subtract' from His words often.) Others claim that the serpent was the only one who twisted the truth. One of the ways he did this was to tell Eve that she would be like God, knowing right from wrong. What he failed to tell her is that there is a downside to this and making your own decisions, rather than walking with God and valuing His opinion, is not the easiest way to live. The devil also told her that she would not die. This could be another twisting of the truth, since she would not immediately drop dead, but begin the process of degeneration that would eventually lead to old age and death, or it may just be an out-right lie. The point here is not to argue about how she was deceived, but to show you that being deceived and doing wrong does not have the same consequences as knowing you are sinning. Eve's actions had consequences, and she was cursed, but it did not break her relationship with God and bring death into the world. So, while you still must face earthly consequences for what you do, even if you did not fully realize that it was wrong, being 'deceived' does not have as severe consequences as intentional sin. (Gen. 3, 1 Cor. 15:22)

Another sin category in scripture, which is similar to being 'deceived,' is unintentional sin. In Leviticus there are lists of consequences for when we sin 'unintentionally.' We did not mean to do it, but we did it none-the-less. Like being 'deceived' the consequences are less than if we did it on purpose, and we still must 'fix' our relationship with God (likely because we are responsible for being careful and knowing His rules). So, if I hit you with my car, or allow you to fall off my roof unintentionally I may not go to jail for murder, but there are still consequences that I must live with. And God is hurt that I did not care enough to be careful with His creation. I need to show that I intend to never let it happen again. (Dt. 22:8)

Intentional sin, when you are definitely guilty (like Adam) also has its consequences. On earth, this type of behavior requires the most punishment to make up for what has been done. Why? Because God cares about our motives. Our heart attitude matters. Willful disobedience shows that you are a danger to others. Unintentional sin shows that you just need more knowledge, and/or need to learn to be more careful. There is a difference. A person who sins unintentionally will likely learn from their mistake and not repeat it. A person who does something wrong purposefully will likely do it again and again. They also show, through their actions, that they believe they do not need to obey God. (Gen. 6:5)

There are also times when we are not aware that we have sinned. Repeatedly through the psalms David asks God to search his heart. He also prays that if he has done wrong, God may reveal it to him so that he might repent. These are good prayers to pray. Since scripture tells us that all men sin, and lie, if you think you do not, you are likely deluding yourself and need this prayer as well. (Rom. 3:23, 1 John 1:8)

Notice too in scripture that there are sacrifices to God for every type of sin, and there are also earthly consequences (thing we must do to make it up to the person we sinned against, or punishments we must face). What this tells us is that every sin affects our relationship with God, and we must therefore apologize to God for doing it. But fixing our relationship with God is not enough. We must also fix our relationship with the people who were affected by what we have done. (This is the love your neighbor part.) Jesus died to 'fix' our relationship with God, but He did not 'fix' our relationship with the other people He placed on earth with us. This is why there are still earthly consequences for sin. Jesus forgave our sins against Him (God), but we are still in debt to our neighbor when we sin against him. For this reason scripture tells us that if we have anything we need to 'fix' in our relationship with our brother we are to leave our offering at the altar and go to fix things with our brother first. God loves the other people He created as well, and fixing your relationships with them (when it is possible) is something God considers more important than what you do for Him. (Mt. 5:23-24)

So what is the point?

1. All sin, whether you are aware it was a sin or not has consequences. It is not good to go through life 'unaware.' Bible study and prayer will help as they will show you what not to do, and reveal where you have gone wrong so that you may repent and do better next time. This is the purpose of the Law.

2. Christ died for our sins, and our 'debt' with God is fully paid, we just need to accept this as fact. Our debts to others however still need to be settled with the person we hurt. This is why there are still earthly consequences even after we have come to Christ. God cares about how we treat others very much. That's why 'love thy neighbor as yourself' is in scripture, more than once!

3. Our motives matter, and there are different consequences depending on why we did what we did. God cares about our heart attitude. It is why He asks His people so many questions in scripture, to show us where our heart is. Telling the truth indicates that you are sorry for what you have done. Lying, like Cain, and Ananais and Saphira, shows that you are still bent on doing wrong.

4. How you handle your sin matters to God. He does not force you to repent and do what is right. As Paul did with Philemon God pressures you to follow the right path, but does not force you to do it. This is why there are blessings for good behavior and repentance, and curses for bad behavior.

5. Your actions, and attitude show whether, or not, you have made God the Lord of your life. Even the demons know that Jesus is God. The difference between them (who are not with God) and us, is our willingness to obey Him. Avoiding sin, and repenting when we fail, shows that we want a relationship with God. Willfully doing what is wrong, lying, and trying to justify our actions shows that we do not truly believe we need to obey God, and He is not the true Lord of our life. Doing what is right for selfish reasons, such as making yourself look good says the same thing. This is what is known as 'doing right in your own eyes' in scripture and it is not good. Whose rules you follow shows who you are truly following. When you do whatever you want, even if it is technically 'good' most of the time, you are not a follower of God.

So, while Jesus' blood covers all of your sins (past, present and future), how you handle sin shows whether, or not, you have truly accepted Him as your Lord and Savior.

How To React When A Non-Christian Invites You To Sin

Recently a college student asked me, What do I say when a friend asks me if I want to 'get blazed' and watch a movie with him? This is a great question, and by asking it the student shows that he does not want to hurt this person's feelings, but he also does not want to 'get blazed.' So how does he decline in a Christian manner?

Many Christians go overboard when someone asks them to sin. They go all 'fire-and-brimstone' on the person and scare them away. The person then leaves feeling hurt and thinking Christians are a bit mean. Why? Because the person was asking you to join them to be nice, because they liked you, and was blindsided by the amount of emotion you put into your response. Here is what we forget when we behave like this:

1. 1 Corinthians 5:12 tells us that we are not to judge those outside the church; they are expected to sin. Our acting 'shocked' that this person would do something 'sinful' is unreasonable. While you may hope that they would choose better, even without a relationship with Christ, they have not made Christ the Lord of their life, so it is foolish to expect them to follow His rules, or be shocked when they don't.

2. What they have just said, without saying it, is, 'I am not a Christian.' The bad behavior (here the drug use) is not their biggest problem. If you keep them from doing drugs tonight you may save them a few brain cells, but have you really changed their life? Introducing them to a loving Savior is therefore