How to Deal with Betrayal the Godly Way

By Tola Dehinde

As a counsellor, author Tola Dehinde sees people being untruthful, people being betrayed, people deceiving others, and the list goes on. Since the world began, individuals have been untruthful toward one another. This isn’t new; it’s life. However, when it happens to you, you feel as if you’re the only one going through a betrayal. You’re not. We’ve all been betrayed.

In How to Deal with Betrayal the Godly Way, Dehinde offers a guide on how to deal with betrayal in a Biblical manner for you as a child of God. It discusses what betrayal is, gives examples of Biblical betrayals, and teaches you how to:

• deal with anger when hurt:
• manage rather than overlook anger;
• handle feelings of desire for revenge;
• learn to forgive;
• release those who have hurt you; and
• love your enemies.

With scriptures, prayers, affirmations, and exercises included, How to Deal with Betrayal the Godly Way encourages you to lay down the heavy burden of unforgiveness so you can live a fulfilled life in Christ.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664255906

Tola Dehinde

Tola Dehinde, a relationship counellor, has been a student in the area of Bible study for decades. Her love for God led her to start blogging on www.pastors1stlady.co.uk. She has been pouring out spiritual nuggets since the onset on a weekly and later monthly basis. Visit her online at www.toladehinde.com. Dehinde has written several other books.

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Copyright © 2022 Tola Dehinde.

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-5591-3 (sc)

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-5590-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022901577

WestBow Press rev. date:   02/24/2022

This book is dedicated to you, the reader.

Contents

Thanksgiving

Introduction

1     What Is Betrayal?

2     Biblical Betrayals

3     How to Deal with Anger when Hurt?

4     How to Manage Rather than Overlook Anger

5     How to Deal with Feelings of Desire for Revenge

6     How Anger Can Ruin Your Health

7     How to Learn to Forgive

8     Forgiveness Exercise

9     Ways to Forgive Yourself

10   Anger towards God

11   Don’t Replay; Forgive Yourself

12   Release Those Who Have Hurt You

13   Love Your Enemies

14   Jesus, Our Example

15   Scriptures

16   Affirmations

17   Prayers

Conclusion

References

Thanksgiving

I thank God for the Bible because it helps us as Christians.

I thank the Holy Spirit for using me the way that He has done.

I appreciate the Holy Spirit, who has helped me to write this book.

I would also like to thank everyone who has encouraged me to write.

All Bible references are from the New King James Version (NKJV).

Introduction

I decided to write this book on betrayal because as I journey through life and go about counselling people, I see people being untruthful, people being betrayed, people deceiving others, and so on. Since the world began, individuals have been untruthful toward one another. This is not new. However, when it happens to you, you feel as if you are the only one going through a betrayal. Let me assure you that you are not the only one. We have all been through one betrayal or the other, and it is called life. As we continue to live life and love people, people will come our way with impure intentions, with good intentions, or with motives that are not right.

We all have concealed hurts that only God can truly see. We might not talk about what happened to us with anyone, but God knows, and He sees. Concealed offenses come from recollections of our past mistakes and emotional or psychological pain. For everyone reading this book, the remembrance could be one of torment, distress, anguish, agony, mockery, sadness, torture, discomfort, self-blame, regret, or repulsion. These are all negative feelings that weigh one down. There are five different kinds of relationship. So, if you have been hurt, it will be from one of these, namely romantic, spiritual, business or work, friendship, and family. If someone is going to hurt you, it will be from one of these categories too.

I wanted to write a book that looks at how to deal with betrayal in a biblical manner for us as children of God.

When you have been betrayed or hurt, you must be careful whom you share your story with. Sharing it with someone who has no compassion for your plight can be problematic. The person might just say something that would further set you off in a negative way. What I mean is the person might reply insensitively to something that hurt you, and this might make you regret speaking out. You might then decide not to talk about your pain again, and keeping things bottled in is not good for us.

The thing about betrayal is that it is the people who are closest to us who betray us the most.

Our enemy, the devil, cannot have a foothold in our lives without an open door somewhere. Sometimes those who betray us are not rivals but loved ones, those we have helped, close relations, friends, work colleagues, someone we have confided in, or neighbors. Matthew 10:36 says, and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.

Many times, as Christians, we are told to pray it through, let it go, forgive, and forget. Truth be told, it is not easy to behave as if one has not been hurt when one has. There is a process involved before one can honestly move on without holding on to any resentment. Human beings are not robots, so letting go might be difficult for some people, and they might find it tough to do so initially.

Likewise, to pretend that nothing happened can also be a hard pill to swallow. I am of the opinion that it is not healthy to not allow people to express their feelings or emotions in a safe manner.

People need to be able to express their hurt in a safe place, with someone that they trust or someone who would listen to them without judgment (a counselor or therapist). It only causes more emotional and psychological damage to the aggrieved person in the long run if emotional hurt or betrayal has been bottled in without an outlet.

This book comes from a place of personal experience and what I have learned over the years about being betrayed and being hurt as a child of God. However, as I counsel people, I notice that a lot of people have not had the opportunity to deal with the betrayal they have been through in whatever way is best for them as a child of God. And so, months or years down the line, the residue of the betrayal is still lingering on.

There are a lot of Christians dealing with issues of betrayal, unforgiveness, hurt, and bitterness inside them, going about their lives. The church, you, and I need to be healed of what has happened to