Po' Man's Guide to Keepin Her Happy

By b.r. bennett

Po' Man's Guide is a short, humorous look at dating and mating in the free world in a comedic attempt to keep
the male out of the doghouse, or at least limit his stay. It's a funny, non politically correct, yet practical and
realistic look at the male, female dynamic and how the male can accept and appreciate all the wonders and
mysteries of the female; when she's the most beautiful, understanding, and compassionate person in the world
to the most vain, vile, and vengeful creature on earth. It's also a guide for the male navigating the dating world
seeking that special female and how he can keep his wits and control his temper when she seems to be losing
her mind. In a light hearted and amusing fashion, this book looks at romantic relationship psychology and
behavior and how the male can accept some simple premises to win and keep the girl of his dreams
while staying true to himself and his values. In the inexplicable, irrational, and illogical world of romantic and
sexual attraction, this guide will help both genders, but specifically the male in accepting the psychological and
emotional differences and how he can learn to embrace and cherish those differences. And it allows them both
to laugh at themselves in a loving way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 3, 2018
• ISBN: 9781543939033

Book preview

1

Who’s in Charge?

In every romantic relationship, one person is the leader, whether implied or by proxy, whether assumed or given, whether taken reluctantly or confidently. One person is looked at to take the lead or to be the ‘head of the household’. Traditionally, that leader has been the male. In more modern progressive relationships, both persons’ feelings and opinions are taken into account when decisions are made, using the experiences of both to come to a mutually agreeable decision or solution. However, there are times in a truly democratic relationship when one person yields or acquiesces to the will of the other for the collective good of the relationship and that acquiescent has traditionally been the female. Culturally, for the last two millenniums, the female has been placed in the position of yielding to the dominant male personality. In Western cultures, politically and legally, the female was forced to accept second-class citizenship. There was a time when the male could simply treat his female partner like a child using the power vested by a society which gave the male complete dominion over the land, spouse, children, and all wealth of the family. Just as a parent may say to a child, ‘because I said so’, it was normal and acceptable for the male to say the very same thing to a female and have complete social, political, and legal support. Even though the suffrage and civil rights movements have negated the legal dominion of male over female in America and many Western countries, the long-held psychology of male dominance has died slowly with some males. These males still believe that physical strength and brute force remain the determining factors over who is ‘in charge’. This writing is not directed toward males of that ilk. The troglodyte male that believes he should reign supreme for any other reason than the unpressured, voluntary partner agreement should seek professional counseling, not the wisdom of this book. Although there are certain religious texts that may seem to reinforce the male dominance theory, every male should remember the time in history those scriptures were written. And if they still believe they should have total, unfettered control, they should adopt residence in the backward countries that continue to adhere to that ridiculous philosophy. The male can no longer dominate the female by virtue of any dictatorship or authority as granted by this false social hierarchy. Today’s female is just as capable, if not more so, of providing financial, emotional, educational, discipline, and psychological wealth and well-being than her male companion. Many relationships have been strained because of male ego deflation when the female makes more money than her male counterpart.

Females claim to want a strong man, a man capable of confident decision making and decisive action. That’s what they ‘say’. A female may say she wants a strong, confident man. However, the wise man knows that he is not in charge. He understands and accepts this because the female has the supreme power of the one word that will shatter all the confidence the strongest man can muster. That word is ‘no’. It matters not how wealthy, intelligent, talented, gifted, or whatever positive attribute we can afford a male, the ‘no’ from a female, his female, can reduce this male to complete bafflement and despair. When in bed he touches her, longing for some nocturnal affection and she says ‘no’, it can crush the most confident of men.

During the Greek dominance of power of the so-called civilized world, playwright Aristophanes wrote about the power of sexual rejection in the play ‘Lysistrata’. Both Delilah and Lysistrata proved that the power of female sexuality from the right woman can topple the mightiest of men, the fiercest of armies. And over 3000 years later, nothing has changed.

Affection rejection is the #1 nightmare of all men, regardless of what they may say. Also, the word ‘no’ can haunt the male in almost every other aspect of their lives. ‘Are you cooking tonight?’ ‘Can we do this today?’ ‘Will you please fix this?’ ‘Baby, give me a kiss’. The rejection of ‘no’ has broken many a good man. And because of the ‘no’ phenomenon, every smart man also knows he is not in charge and will never be in charge. The truly wise man embraces this fact and realizes that he really does not want to be in charge.

Let us consider the following example.

Mother, father and 16-year-old son at the dinner table enjoying the evening meal:

Son: Dad, are you head of the household?

Father: Ask your mother.

Son: Mom, is dad the head of the household?

Mother: Let me explain something to you. Your father and I eventually decided to build a life together. And you know your father, he’s a man’s man. He’s strong, smart, and I trust his judgment. But let’s get one thing straight. I make just as much money as he does but even if I didn’t; I have my own bank account, he has his own bank account, and we have a house account. And I have veto power over anything and everything that goes on in this house including you, your sister, the dog, AND your father. So, if he wants to feel like he’s the head of the household, I LET him feel that way.

Son: Dad, is that right?

For the first time during the conversation, the father removes his gaze from his plate and looks at his son incredulously.

Father: What did your mother say!?!

This is worth repeating. Every man worth his salt knows he’s not in charge and will never be in charge. The wise man does not want to be in charge. He just likes to feel that way every once in a while.

2

Happy or Right

In a relationship with a female, the male has to make a choice to be happy or be right; rarely will he get both. The disapproval of the female can put the male in very untenable and unpleasant situations. On one hand, the male wants his female to be happy. Females are fickle: what makes her happy changes constantly. Problems arise when conflicts and disputes occur which is something that cannot be avoided. When conflicts happen, the female is rarely willing to admit when she is wrong. The male species is psychologically wired to being right, to proving he’s right by pointing out the flaws in another’s logic and thus, proving that his point of view is superior and the only acceptable point