Common Courtesy Makes Good Lovemaking Sense: A Couple's Pocketbook Guide towards Relationship Success

By Anita Newman

It is all too easy to sabotage a potentially good relationship because of a little thoughtlessness. In Common Courtesy Makes Good Lovemaking Sense, author Anita Newman passes along her personal recommendations to assist couples in nurturing a long term happy relationship.

Making the right choice of partner is significant and following the guidance in Common Courtesy Makes Good Lovemaking Sense new couples will be able to determine if the major step towards a permanent relationship is a wise one. For those couples who are in a relationship that could use some “revival”, Common Courtesy Makes Good Lovemaking Sense offers so many reminders of how we treat our partners in a casual manner or how we take them for granted and forget to show them the common courtesies with which we approach common strangers or others with whom we come in contact.

This self-improvement and relationship guide for couples is interspersed with thought-provoking quotations and clever cartoons, making it another easy and delightful read in the Courtesy Books series.

“This book is an easy read that contains true gems.... Each chapter offers sensible suggestions on how to keep a relationship vibrant. Advice on how to address issues is handled in a sensitive manner that may be a real eye-opener for many couples.” –Anne Jacob, Family Life Facilitator

Author Anita Newman immigrated to Canada from England in 1986. She attained a Bachelor of Business Administration from Mount Saint Vincent University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. She also achieved a Lifetime Certified Federal Contracts Manager professional designation from the National Contract Management Association in Virginia, USA. After more than twenty years in corporate management primarily in the aerospace industry, Anita is now enjoying a fulfilling retirement in Nova Scotia, Canada.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anita Newman
• Release date: Jun 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9780988092143

Anita Newman

Author Anita Newman immigrated to Canada from England in 1986. She attained a Bachelor of Business Administration from Mount Saint Vincent University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. She also achieved a Lifetime Certified Federal Contracts Manager professional designation from the National Contract Management Association in Virginia, USA. After more than twenty years in corporate management primarily in the aerospace industry, Anita is now enjoying a fulfilling retirement in Nova Scotia, Canada.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

—Albert Einstein

After one broken engagement and one failed marriage prior to my current happy marriage, I feel qualified to share my opinions as to why some relationships are successful and why some are not. Very often the discovery starts by looking within ourselves and our own behaviour, rather than by scrutinizing our partner.

Although this book is directed towards heterosexual couples, it goes without saying that common courtesy principles apply to same-sex couples.

The following pages reveal my thoughts and conclusions for any new or struggling couple to ponder.

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CHAPTER ONE

Compatibility

I know there is strength in the differences between us

I know there is comfort where we overlap.

—Ani DiFranco

When we are little and under the sole influence of our parents or caregivers, we assume that everyone shares the same lifestyle. As we grow up and attend school, we discover that everyone in fact has not had the same upbringing. By the time we reach adulthood, it has usually become very clear that each of us is indeed quite different. We have our own unique race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, other ideologies and sense of humour. It is no wonder with such diversity in human beings that many partner relationships do not happily endure the test of time.

Bearing in mind the nature of diversity, compatibility has to be given serious consideration when we are each deciding to spend our life with another human being. Sadly, many of us do not pay attention to that fact and are often blinded by the pure physical attraction of another, only to make a grave error in judgment. Those who marry unwisely are likely contributing to the current statistics which indicate that at least 40 percent of marriages end in divorce.

Our beliefs do not have to be identical (and of course that would be impossible) with those of our partner; however, there does need to be similarity in personal principles if we are to seek a harmonious relationship. The alternative is often an unhappy relationship because of arguments, fighting, resentment, and ultimately no interest in lovemaking.

If you have any of those niggling feelings that perhaps your partner might not be the one to spend the rest of your life with, then definitely wait to meet someone whom you find is easy to be with and feel certain is a good match; rest assured, getting permanently involved with the wrong partner will lead to nothing but heartache. Assuming you have chosen the right partner, then regularly displaying common courtesy towards him or her will foster ongoing lovemaking and will help in securing a long-term happy relationship.

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CHAPTER TWO

The Greeting

Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

Assuming we are open to it, it is interesting what we can learn from failed relationships. I remember when I was a teenager, a boyfriend saying to me that I never looked pleased to see him when he arrived for a date. It is something that I retained in my memory and, with effort, corrected in future