Stoicism: A Guide for Couples Who Live Together Towards a Life of Harmony and Happiness by Appling the Stoic Principles in Everyday Life

By Chandler Andersen

Researchers estimate that divorce in the United States happens in almost 50% of all marriages.

Here is an interesting fact; for first marriages, 41% do not last, for second marriages, 60% get annulled, and for third marriages, 73% end in separation.

You would expect the divorce rate to drop with subsequent marriages owing to the fact that there's some experience with the previous marriages, but no, it increases.

This rate does not include couples who choose to cohabit before getting married. Most of them rarely get to the marriage part. They separate soon after they realize that they cannot put up with their significant other.

You may think that you make the perfect couple, that you can overcome any obstacle, that he "gets you", or she "completes you" but that's just before you actually live together. Think of the many celebrity couples who get divorced in less than a year of getting married.

Once you are in the same house, the imperfections become clearer. You start to notice some annoying habits. You realize that they are not so pretty without makeup, or that they are spendthrifts or intolerable drama queens.

Unless the person is a psychopath, leaving the relationship is never the solution. The next person you get together with is still going to have flaws.

No one is perfect; you are not perfect, your partner is not perfect. You both have different personalities, weaknesses, and have been brought up differently. There can never be a perfect match. Each of you has to make an effort to make it work.

There are many changes and discomforts you experience when you move in together.

They include:                           

Monotony

Lack of Freedo

Boundaries

Finance

Dealing with Your Partner's Lifestyle

 

These changes require a lot of wisdom and commitment to handle and above all, guidance. What you thought was a big step forward can end up as a bigger step backward. Some of the things you experience may not just be from your spouse, but from you as well.

Negative feelings that you never thought you are capable of experiencing may emerge. They can make or break the relationship, depending on how you handle them.

So is it possible to have a happily ever after? Yes, by practicing stoicism.

Guidance in living a stoic life as a couple is what this book offers; commitment to stick through the changes, and practice what you learn requires your effort.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Chandler Andersen
• Release date: Dec 31, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386344513

Book preview

Stoicism:

A guide for Couples Who Live Together Towards a Life of Harmony and Happiness by Appling the Stoic Principles in Everyday Life

Content

Introduction

Chapter 1: What can we learn from the early Stoics?

›  Marcus Aurelius

›  Seneca

›  Epictetus

›  Teachings from Musonius Rufus

Chapter 2: Overcoming jealousy

›  Signs of Insane Jealousy from your partner

›  What causes destructive jealousy?

›  5 negative effects of jealousy

›  How to overcome jealousy

Chapter 3: Envy in the relationship

›  What leads to envy among romantic partners?

›  How to triumph over success envy in relationships

›  Other sources of envy 

›  What if you are the envied partner?

Chapter 4: Anger and conflict management in relationships

›  7 ways to manage anger in the relationship

›  Conflict resolution in the relationship

›  How to effectively manage conflict in a relationship using 5 ways

Chapter 5: Managing finances as a couple

›  Top 7 reasons for money problems among partners

›  Managing finances as a couple

Chapter 6: Selfishness among couples

›  10 clear signs of selfishness in a relationship

›  8 effective ways to deal with selfishness in the relationship

Chapter 7: Appreciation and gratitude

›  Why you should build the habit of appreciating your partner

›  How to appreciate your partner and show that you value them

Conclusion

Introduction

Researchers estimate that divorce in the United States happens in almost 50% of all marriages.

Here is an interesting fact; for first marriages, 41% do not last, for second marriages, 60% get annulled, and for third marriages, 73% end in separation.

You would expect the divorce rate to drop with subsequent marriages owing to the fact that there’s some experience with the previous marriages, but no, it increases.

This rate does not include couples who choose to cohabit before getting married. Most of them rarely get to the marriage part. They separate soon after they realize that they cannot put up with their significant other.

You may think that you make the perfect couple, that you can overcome any obstacle, that he gets you, or she completes you but that’s just before you actually live together. Think of the many celebrity couples who get divorced in less than a year of getting married.

Once you are in the same house, the imperfections become clearer. You start to notice some annoying habits. You realize that they are not so pretty without makeup, or that they are spendthrifts or intolerable drama queens.

Unless the person is a psychopath, leaving the relationship is never the solution. The next person you get together with is still going to have flaws.

No one is perfect; you are not perfect, your partner is not perfect. You both have different personalities, weaknesses, and have been brought up differently. There can never be a perfect match. Each of you has to make an effort to make it work.

There are many changes and discomforts you experience when you move in together.

They include: 

Monotony

When you were living separately, the romance was hot and interesting. You would frequently go out on dates, look your best, and be mysterious.

Once you move in together, the magic goes off. It’s always about whose turn it is to do grocery shopping. You have to deal with your partner’s bad morning breath. Date nights are forgotten and everything becomes a routine.

Lack of Freedom

The freedom you once enjoyed is cut short. You can no longer stay out late without informing your partner. The good thing about this is that you enjoy having someone who cares about you and is worried about your whereabouts.

You have to involve your partner in almost every detail of your life, unlike before where something could slip by unmentioned. They are going to want to have a say in your life and this is something you have to adjust to.

Boundaries

Unless well discussed, boundaries can cause a problem. If you have a snooping partner, living together means they have more access to your private things.

It can be irritating when your partner goes through your diary or phone. A snooping partner may be a sign of distrust in the relationship. If left unaddressed, it can grow into a major problem.

Alone Time

Unlike when you were living alone, moving in together means someone is going to be around you throughout. If you prefer having some me-time every day and your partner craves attention, there is bound to be some conflict.

You have to be creative and find some way to get away,