The Enlightened Relationship: Mastering the Metaphysics of Love
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About this ebook
Steve Smith LMFT
Steve Smith, LMFT, is an innovator in the field of relationship counseling. He infuses leading-edge psychology with timeless metaphysical principles to assist couples and individuals in creating enlightened relationships. Experiences of universal love transformed his life, and he is passionate about helping others discover and express this love that resides within all of us. Steve lives in the beautiful community of Campbell, California with his wife, Lisa, and daughter, Jordyn. www.TheEnlightenedMind.net
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The Enlightened Relationship - Steve Smith LMFT
Copyright © 2014 Steve Smith, LMFT.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
Balboa Press
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Cartoon illustrations created by Alif Firdaus Azis
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
ISBN: 978-1-4525-1765-0 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4525-1766-7 (e)
Balboa Press rev. date: 07/16/2014
Contents
Dedication
Preface
Chapter 1 Struck by a Bolt of Love
Chapter 2 The Jerry McGuire Syndrome to Cultivating the Love Within
Chapter 3 The Enmeshment Virus to Self-Empowerment
Chapter 4 Judgmentitis to Unconditional Love
Chapter 5 Mad Compromise Disease to We Can Both Have What We Truly Want
Chapter 6 Disconnection Delusion to We Receive What We Give Out
Chapter 7 Purpose Deficiency Disorder to Joyful Co-Creation
Chapter 8 Embracing the New Frontier
Dedication
To my wife Lisa and daughter Jordyn. I
love you with all of my heart and soul.
To all the authors and spiritual teachers who
had the courage to express their truth.
And to all of my clients who have allowed me to
participate in their journey of growth and becoming.
Preface
In the winter of 1982, a plane carrying 74 passengers crashed into the icy waters of the Potomac River in Washington, DC. Several of the passengers survived the crash but were stranded on wreckage and blocks of ice floating in the middle of the river. After nearly 20 minutes, rescue workers finally arrived by helicopter and began to airlift the survivors out. A lifeline was lowered to one of the survivors, Arland Williams, Jr., but instead of holding on and saving himself, he passed the rope to one of his fellow passengers. He did this several times, allowing for the others to be pulled to safety while he clung to the ice in freezing waters. By the time the helicopter returned for the final rescue, Arland was gone. He couldn’t hold on any longer and slipped away into the frigid water. I will never forget the profound impact this event had on my twelve-year-old mind. The idea that a man (or woman) could give up their life for the sake of another filled me with awe. For most people, this was a demonstration of courage and bravery to the highest degree. And it certainly was that, but it was also an act of pure love that touched something deep within my heart. It was the same way I felt when I thought about other heroic figures who personified love, such as Jesus or Mother Theresa. What could possess someone to make a decision to do such a thing?
I understand now that Arland was able to transcend the grip of his ego, which is based on fear and survival, and listen to the call of the heart. I don’t know exactly what transpired in his mind, but my guess is that he surrendered to his Spirit, and let love lead the way. He was likely possessed
by the Spirit of Love, which is indestructible, limitless, fearless, and knows we are all connected. And today, while his body may no longer contain life, that Spirit lives on and continues to inspire others, including me.
Most of us are not called to give up our life for the sake of another, but if we listen carefully, we are called to set aside our ego for the sake of love every single day. The ego, in the way I am defining it, is the personality construct comprised of belief systems that keep us separate and ward off any threats to the individual personality. It cannot see beyond the physical body or the connections that exist at the level of Spirit. The idea of genuine love threatens the ego because love recognizes oneness, togetherness, and connectedness. The paradox is that individuality still exists in genuine love, but the ego cannot comprehend that. It is only interested in survival, protection, and maintaining separateness, none of which are characteristics of love. The heroes who can overcome and transcend this limitation, such as Arland, Jesus, and others like them, symbolize the willingness to give up the self (ego) for the love of another. And it is in this transcendence where we can all truly find our Selves.
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