Control: A Children's Guide to Money, Power & Sex

By A Jobain

This guide gives dozens of short, to-the-point suggestions on how young adults & professionals can be comfortable in their own skins well into their careers. It's a useful reference on self-control, being managed and directing others; and

•for parents who ask: Does my teen have the skills it takes to make it on their own?
•for young adults wondering: How should I deal with people asking for money?
•for those entering the workforce: What challenges will I face as an employee?

The book covers tips on dealing with financial situations, companies that don’t pay dues, relationship hurdles, and many more.

Full disclosure: The author is no psychologist, therapist or certified coach; but he's successfully led teams, guided staff and earned praise for his management style from more peers than have criticized it; and the companies and departments he's run have consistently shown improvements in results and revenues.

"Wonderful tips on developing unique skills, reaching out to successful people, and knowing your rights anywhere you go" Leslie Orr, Head of Worldwide Occupier Services, Core/Savills MEAP

"I love this. Your boys will benefit as will mine." Tim Love, former Vice-Chairman of the Omnicom Group and author of The Book that Gets Better with Age and Think Like the Sun

• Language: English
• Publisher: A Jobain
• Release date: May 22, 2018
• ISBN: 9781732234512

A Jobain

A Jobain has written fiction and nonfiction for over several decades with articles appearing in academic and business publications like Campaign, Communicate!, MarketingSherpa, Arabian Business and AMEInfo. His views on advertising in Arabia are included in Wally Snyder's Ethics in Advertising: Making the Case for Doing the Right Thing; and he authored Control: A Children’s Guide to Money, Power & Sex as well as An Anthology of Boems & Ferses. He has worked on 3 continents over the past thirty years, first employed by a horse stable, a gaming arcade, a video cassette rental shop (yes, he’s that old) and several nightclubs; and, once adequately educated, by global ad agencies and real estate developers before succumbing to fatherhood. Since marrying his muse, he's tried to raise 4 @#$%^&!* gentlemen, which has made managing companies feel like a cakewalk. A Jobain’s ebooks are available on Amazon Kindle and Smashwords.

Book preview

For Dalia: A flower missed every day

Acknowledgements

I owe a great debt of gratitude to so many people, chief among them every bully, braggart, backstabber, tergiversator, sponge, leech, deadbeat, swindler, hypocrite, impostor, rat, liar and pompous egomaniac that colored the pages of my life. Theirs is a sad existence, as they must live with who they are; and at best suffer the isolation they will inevitably endure. They have, however, enriched mine by being unintentional tutors in the ways of the world.

I am, of course, even more thankful to those pure souls who have kept my faith in humanity alive. Those who selflessly offered support when it was needed most. Others who never realize(d) that their decency alone was and is worth a thousand hours of therapy. And still others who gave away the material – a Volvo car, a professor providing a needed albeit unsolicited sum, a wedding limousine (ok, it was rented; but the only classic Merc in town) – without expecting anything in return, simply because they cared.

It is the combination of both categories of people, Yin and Yang’s personification I suppose, that helped create balance in my mind; and inspired me to pen this work for my boys; and for anyone else interested. I am also grateful for the input of many dear friends and mentors, as well as my mother’s selfless love and her slipper, my father’s business insights and the unique perspective that a growing boy has when adjusting to step-parents who must adjust to him; and to my wife, who constantly lectures me that I have a 5-minute rule to adhere to when I lecture my children (following which she can and will shut me up before releasing her spawn from my grasp). In the review of this work: Tim Love, who reminded me that I needed to consider the sensitivities of both a western and eastern audience particularly in the different views men and women hold over relationship-building; Leslie Orr, who provided a literary rudder; and Lucy Doman, Caroline Swart and Munah Zahr, who patiently and generously gave counsel and creative input. To these and many more near and dear, you didn’t have to help me like you did, but you did, but you did; and I thank you.

Introduction

Life teaches us a lot of lessons that should be shared; and a few that shouldn’t. We choose what to heed or ignore and bear the consequences. Some are harmless. Like the time a creative writing professor admonished the class against using a lot in our prose. I couldn’t resist its inclusion here – decades after having graduated. No harm done other, perhaps, than annoying some linguistic purists. Some advice once shunned can have uncomfortable or even painful ramifications. There are the obvious don’t do drugs, friends don’t let friends drive drunk, or only you can prevent forest fires – that last one hearkening back to the days when kids actually spent time outdoors – supported with big budget ad campaigns. The not-so-obvious don’t get splashed across our screens or on buses, helping us make sense of an opaque world. So, without guidance, the smaller hurdles of life can be daunting. Yet once you reach a certain age, things start becoming clearer when you’ve been around for half a century, even if you don’t necessarily have all the answers.

I still have much to master. A man my age, with four boys growing up in precarious times, spends many a sleepless night wondering what kind of world they must navigate; and how well I’ve prepared them. Money comes and goes, as does position and prestige. The only constant in life is change, according to some; but there can and should be another: character. Regardless of what life may throw at us, if we work on the premise that principles are sanctified, we will meet our Maker with a clear conscience; and perhaps we’ll make the world a better place with children that know right from wrong. The mistake, however, is to raise our youngsters with high moral standards without preparing them for the harsh realities that will test their resolve.

Life diverts our carefully mapped-out plans all too often; and when it does, we must not worry about why things happen, only about how we handle each hindrance. Challenges come to us in all forms; but other than those dictated by nature, most are driven by a desire for control. The intentions behind this innately human need may be noble or nefarious – a teacher disciplining a rowdy pupil, a boss mandating a certain presentation format, a mother berating junk food consumption, a bully demanding lunch money, and so on. We basically want others to follow our lead, advice or instructions. Perhaps not always consciously; but the satisfaction of seeing someone do what we think they should do has been consistently evident in so many of my human interactions.

These controlling impulses generally fit within one or a combination of three drivers: money, power and sex. These govern virtually every aspect of our existence from when we are first cognizant of the world around us, until we go senile or six feet under. The buddy who borrows a buck, the bully who pushed you around or the girl that giggles at your, or your adversary’s, jokes – these and more mark the beginning of a young person’s adventure through the trials and tribulations of living. I recall many such instances while growing up first in Arabia then Europe and the United States of America. I experienced it in all the places you’d expect: school, work and social outings; yet what made it all the more interesting were the consistencies I saw around the world.

I’m no psychologist. And I neither have a degree in education nor am I particularly intelligent. I