Poised for Success: Mastering the Four Qualities That Distinguish Outstanding Professionals

By Jacqueline Whitmore

Secrets to mastering the details that will get you ahead at work, from international etiquette expert and author of BUSINESS CLASS, Jacqueline Whitmore.


In the past, the business world favored the aggressive "Type A" personality. But in these unsettled times, being courteous and thoughtful has proven to be a more effective way to win clients and customers and influence others. The competitive advantage depends on your ability to use your emotional intelligence and social graces to take your career to the next level.

In POISED FOR SUCCESS, Jacqueline Whitmore states that good business etiquette is important, but she also knows that there is more to becoming invaluable at work than simply mastering good behavior. In order to be poised for success, you must cultivate what Jacqueline calls the four "P" qualities: Presence, Polish, Professionalism, and Passion. These include how to:

-Package yourself for success by refining your personal brand
-Nurture professional relationships with flair
-Master the five ways to make yourself more memorable
-Learn the seven unwritten rules of workplace etiquette

Whitmore, using her 15 years of experience as a protocol and etiquette expert, will arm you with the skills to become more self-aware, more confident and comfortable in your own skin, and better able to communicate with others in a credible, authentic manner.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Macmillan Publishers
• Release date: Nov 8, 2011
• ISBN: 9781429989763

Jacqueline Whitmore

Jacqueline Whitmore is an internationally recognized etiquette expert and the founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach. Her extensive client base includes the U.S. Department of Defense, Booz Allen Hamilton, Office Depot, The Hartford Financial Services Group, Deloitte, Merrill Lynch, Ernst & Young, Bloomingdale's, Sprint, and Burger King Corporation, among others. Jacqueline is a popular guest on radio and television and her etiquette advice has appeared in The New York Times, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Real Simple, Fortune, and O: The Oprah Magazine. Jacqueline and her husband, Brian Gleason, live in Florida.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

LUCK IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PREPARATION MEETS OPPORTUNITY.

—SENECA, ROMAN PHILOSOPHER

How does one compete in today’s competitive job market when there are so many bright, capable people out there? The hard truth is that the ones who get ahead are often those who are able to muster enough courage to take risks and connect from the heart.

Between your desire to succeed, your ability to recognize opportunity, and your willingness to take action (especially if it holds some risk), you have the potential to alter the course of your career. That’s how success happens. There often isn’t a straight line between where you are now and where you want to be; the road may be winding, rocky, or rough, but it’s there. The pathway is called ambition and it leads to success.

Success doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by design. Successful people aren’t smarter than everyone else. They just practice more than their peers. Hall of Fame basketball player Ed Macauley once said, When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win. Successful people are willing to take advantage of opportunities that come their way and they keep on moving toward what they want, sometimes in big strides but mostly in small steps that ultimately make a difference. To become better at anything, whether it’s sports, music, or building better business relationships, you must practice often. Whether you’re working toward a career goal or the dream of one day owning your own business, this book can help you move closer to your vision by showing you how to connect with others who can help you get there, but you have to practice.

When I wrote my first book, Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work, I included stories and examples of why soft skills (communication, diplomacy, and good manners), once considered the soft stuff, are now the hard stuff. The book was a huge success; however, there’s more to being your best self than knowing how to properly shake hands or wield a knife and fork. That’s why I decided to write this book.

Poised for Success is less about etiquette and protocol and more about how to build longer-lasting, more meaningful relationships and how to put others first in your life. By learning how to cultivate four personal qualities—presence, polish, professionalism, and passion—you can propel yourself toward success, however you may define it. Success is as much the journey as it is the destination. The purpose of this book is to make that journey, your journey, a mindful and meaningful process.

Reading this book is an investment in yourself; it will help you do all you can to prepare yourself for the moments when opportunity knocks on your door. By putting these four uncommon qualities into common practice you’ll open yourself up to circumstances you might otherwise have missed or simply passed by. You’ll be in a position where you can enhance your relationships, expand your horizons, and move forward to the next level of your career with confidence. You’ll be poised for success!

PART ONE

PRESENCE

CHAPTER 1

Poise Is Presence Personified

GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU HAVE, AND THE BEST WILL COME BACK TO YOU.

—ELLA WHEELER WILCOX, AUTHOR AND POET

Whenever you have an unusual job, particularly if you’re a circus clown, crematory operator, snake charmer, or etiquette expert, people make assumptions about your personality and background. In my case, I am an etiquette expert, and many people I meet today assume that I grew up enjoying a privileged lifestyle. But nothing could be further from the truth.

I was born the fourth of five children in the small town of Haines City, located in Central Florida. My mom, Elsie, left my abusive, alcoholic father (her third husband) when I was just five years old. Unable to support all of us on her own, Mom had to make the heartbreaking choice of sending my three older siblings to live with their father. My mother, my younger brother, and I moved in with my Granny Johnson until Mom could afford a down payment on a government-subsidized house she found in a quaint middle-class neighborhood.

Growing up, I didn’t attend fancy tea parties, cotillions, or private schools. Life was more than modest; my clothes came from discount stores or I dressed in my cousin’s hand-me-downs. The special activities many of my friends enjoyed, including dance classes, piano lessons, and summer vacations, were simply out of the question. I was raised Southern Baptist and spent most of my childhood in church, where I learned to sing and play handbells.

Because my dad was a World War II disabled veteran, I was fortunate to attend college thanks to the educational funding I received from the Veterans Benefits Administration. I majored in broadcasting at the University of Florida with the intent to become a TV reporter. But my career aspirations quickly fizzled when I took an internship with CNN in Washington, D.C. Unfortunately, I loathed every minute of it and realized that I wasn’t cut out for the cutthroat radio and TV industry.

After graduation, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I explored a variety of unique and diverse occupations. I was a sales associate for ladies’ clothes at an upscale department store, a singer, dancer, and actor at SeaWorld of Florida, an administrative assistant and special events coordinator at the Walt Disney World Dolphin Resort, and a flight attendant with Northwest Airlines.

I found happiness in every job I had and I never imagined that life could get even better … until I landed my dream job in 1993. That’s when I had the good fortune to be hired as the assistant director of public relations for one of the most luxurious and exclusive hotels in the world—The Breakers in Palm Beach, Florida. Listed on the National Register of Historic Places, the hotel has played host to generations of the rich and famous. My job at the prestigious and palatial Breakers Hotel was a portal into a glamorous, glittery, and elegant world. It was also my finishing school. Who knew that one day this small-town girl would dine and dance at some of the most opulent charity galas in the world or rub elbows with people she read about in magazines and newspapers? As time went on, I eventually took part in The Breakers Annual Executive Etiquette Camp and then went on to take a more extensive business etiquette certification course in Washington, D.C. As a result, I was named the hotel’s first protocol officer, which afforded me the opportunity to mix and mingle with some of the world’s most interesting and influential people who came to Palm Beach.

WHAT PRESENCE IS AND WHAT IT IS NOT

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines presence as a noteworthy quality of poise and effectiveness. Poise is all about balance—the way you hold yourself and how you move through the world. It’s about paying attention to the details of you, which means accepting, embracing, and taking full advantage of all you have to work with. It’s your desire to improve, without the fear of embarrassment or intimidation.

The Palm Beach lifestyle could have easily intimidated me, but my sheer desire to be a part of this exciting world helped me quell any hesitation or discomfort I felt. I learned to cultivate my presence and adapt and assimilate into my surroundings just as a chameleon blends in with its environment. I loved working at The Breakers, but like all good things, my tenure there eventually came to an end.

My mother often said, A person’s life can change in an instant with just one phone call or trip to the mailbox, and she was correct. On a hot, sticky afternoon in August 1998, I unsuspectingly received a phone call that changed my life. My boss called me and in a curt voice he instructed me to report to his office immediately. When I hung up the phone, I broke out into a cold sweat—the kind you get right before someone tells you some really bad news. When I entered my boss’s office, my heart sank when I saw the director of human resources sitting next to him. My suspicions were immediately confirmed—my job position was about to be

Reviews for Poised for Success

[Britney Coto · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Very old mindset. Not accurate to modern life, and full of stereotypes, gender role biases, and exclusion.