Creatures Of Vice - Plans Change: Books Of The Doomed, #1

By Jonny B. Deviant

Booze. Drugs. Pitches. This is the life of charismatic CEO and functional addict, Jake Sonnen. Follow him and his protégé Santiago on the surreal road that is advertising and marketing, drifting from client-to-client, attempting to keep their humble-yet-cutting-edge agency from the edge of bankruptcy and living through the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

"Plans Change" is Jonny B Deviant's first short story of the "Creatures of Vice" series, and takes a humorous, wide-eyed look at the life of agency work, painting a vivid portrait of London's most eccentric characters along the way. The piece is dark, funny and in turns, full of hope. A must-read if you're threatened at gunpoint.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jonny B. Deviant
• Release date: Aug 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781533752659

Jonny B. Deviant

Jonny B. Deviant writes copy for a living. Mostly cold sales letters. He's worked in the marketing and advertising world for 15 years. After thousands of compliments to his cold letters, he finally realised he had a knack of writing. After taking a range of potent stimulants, he started writing this series.

Book preview

PLANS CHANGE

I tightened the noose. As I proceeded, I felt genuine peace and bliss. I was ready. Nothingness would envelope me. No more memories. No more thoughts, only darkness and silence. I had thought of this moment for so long. It was time. That was until my god-damn phone rang. I knew exactly who was calling. It was Santiago, no doubt drunk and in peril. I said For fuck's sake... and let out a brief sigh. I didn't answer the call. This wasn't new territory for me. I sprinted through the streets whilst the cold temperatures numbed my extremities. I reached my destination, the only bar Santiago visits alone. That would be the trashiest, sweatiest bar I've ever set foot in, Mosquito Bar. I will never understand Santiago's fascination with this god-forsaken place. He should spend his free time in some place that isn't filled with tragic faces.

I found Santiago and he was in the state I expected. I had to hold him up. He had been gambling with some fellow patrons and couldn't afford to cough up. Large men began circling us and they were making no secret of their intentions. The total restitution was a mere £23. I handed one of the men a £50 note and dragged Santiago out of the bar onto the icy pavement. Upon standing up, which took a few attempts, he protested. I'd made a terrible error of judgement, apparently.

We could've taken them, man!

Don't be fucking stupid. Those men were huge and you enraged them. You can't even stand up straight. What the fuck is wrong with you? You're damn lucky I was able to get here on time!

A taxi picked us up within a minute. Santiago leaned back as far as his chair would allow. Every 10 seconds or so he would mumble intoxicated nonsense. I expected he would be out of commission until tomorrow as the mumblings ceased. He wasn't getting into any more trouble tonight, that's for damn sure.

I opened our front door. OH FUCK! THAT FUCKING NOOSE! There was a GIGANTIC self-lynching device with a garish red chair below it, hanging in the middle of our fucking living room! Thank fuck Santiago drank so much. I didn’t have answers for him. I moved my unconscious friend into his room, forcing his neck and head down to