Bullies in the Family

By Johanna Sparrow

There are some people that you’re just not going to like or get along with, and unfortunately, they may be in your family. Everyone that I know seems to have a certain family member who causes gatherings to end on a sour note no matter how good of a time everyone has been having. The rest of the family pulls together to attempt to calm this person down, but it never seems to work. As a result, several family members end up confused, disrespected, and bullied before the night is over. We all know who they are and find them unpleasant to be around.

If things aren’t going their way, they take over and force attention there way. When will it end? No one is exempt from this type of family member; one who causes your emotions to fluctuate between love and adoration for them and wishing you never knew them or were related to them. They’re never happy, and they’re paranoid that everyone in the family is out to get them or make them look bad. If they only realized that they are the cause of their own unhappiness and paranoia, they may shape up and fly right.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Johanna Sparrow
• Release date: Jan 4, 2016
• ISBN: 9781311284877

Johanna Sparrow

Antoinette M Watkins writes under the pen name Johanna Sparrow, she has been writing for over 17 years and has published a variety of books from children's books to self-help books dealing with relationship, personal growth and conflict issues. She uses her expertise, knowledge and experience on a system she's created and used over the years dating back as far as 1995 in improving relationship issues, called the (HBCCR)© Heart Bruised Conscious Connection Renewal codes which we either have or don't have inside of us. When she is not writing self help books she writes Novels and Novella under the pen name SPARROW.In 2015 Johanna Sparrow will release for the first time her powerful and inspiring HBCCR system she's created for the rest of the world in hopes that we all can find a common goal or ground within our daily connections. She has researched and studied over the years connections between human to human and human to nature interactions in which she concluded in her research how understanding ones connections and disconnections in life is the essential step code and laws for love, happiness and tragedy, governing and guiding us in becoming life's greatest or worse creation to ever exist.

Book preview

Bullies in The Family

Act Right Series

JOHANNA SPARROW

Smashwords Edition

Bullies in The Family, Act Right Series Copyright © 2016 Johanna Sparrow

All rights reserved.

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my readers!

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

You’re Being Abused

It’s All About Control

Cry Baby Bullies

Shouting Hurts

Verbal Abuse

Stop Crying

Moving On

When It Hurts

Parental Bullies

The Aggressor

Face the Truth

Feeling Rejected

Family Disconnections

Thirteen Keys to Positive Thinking

Bullying is Really Relational Aggression

Reinventing A New You

Dismissive Family Members

Bullies Play Games

Bullies Standout

You’re Not Alone

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to acknowledge the people in my life, who have stood by my side no matter what has happened. Thank you!

Introduction

Everyone I know seems to have that one family member, who no matter how good of a time everyone is having, seems to end things on a sour note. We all come together and try to calm this person down, but it never seems to work, and many family members end up confused, disrespected, and bullied before the night is over. Face it, we know who they are and find them unpleasant to be around.

Which reminds me of the time when I was very young, and a family member around the same age as I, never ever played nice. One minute, I found myself having fun and trusting them, and the next, running to my mother with teeth clenched, in the middle of my back. I always wondered about that as I got older; who in the heck was that cousin who no matter what, found a way to attack me by biting me in the middle of my back when we were supposed to be playing. It was not until later that I had a talk with my mother about those incidents, and discovered that this was done not only to me by this kid in the family, but to other kids; it did not make me feel any better, but it left me disturbed. I always was afraid of visiting the house with that kid and today, I understand that I had no choice because I was taken into that environment, but as an adult, I have control over what I allow to happen to me going forward. I told my mother every time it happened, but this did not stop me from experiencing this horror. I mean, my mother could have left me home instead of taking me to experience this. What happens when the teeth in your back is a knife by a much older family member? Today, you may be going through that, you openly express how you feel about something that someone is doing to you. You express this to the person that seems to have everyone’s attention, and can make a difference in a negative family environment, yet they do nothing or say nothing to you after you tell them. It makes you wonder if they are enjoying what’s going on.

When you find yourself going through drama because of someone’s feelings about you, that’s not your problem. If that family can’t talk to you the right way, or has a history in treating you wrong, it’s time to walk away. If you are not sure how to distance yourself from a negative family member, you will learn steps to protect yourself and make the decision that’s right for you.

YOU’RE BEING ABUSED

Sometimes, the face of abuse isn’t always clear, and sometimes, it’s difficult to tell if someone you love is doing things to you on purpose. I’ve found myself in such situations over the years and recently, by so called family members. One minute they love you, the next, they say or do something that makes you turn your head while asking, What the heck just happened? It does not matter what it is they are doing or saying, all you know is, it does not feel good. You find yourself trying to be the better person, which locks you up in that moment of abuse made to look like drama or bullying. I am here to tell you that family can be the worst bullies on the planet. Having a good heart and soul can easily make you a target.

I know what you are thinking and how you feel about family members who mistreat you, can they just fall off the planet? No! You don’t have to act the same way they act. I’ve learned it’s the pure souls and good-hearted people who become abused in their families, and many times, that abuse is accepted even if many in the family know what’s going on. I had to learn just recently, how to walk myself out of such a family, and close the door on what could be, because the mental abuse became more than what I could handle at the time. I’ve also had friends who at this moment, don’t know why they go around members of their family who have made it clear that they don’t like them. But I understand why and what type of person they are, still they don’t deserve what happens to them when they give away their heart and soul to loved ones. What makes a family member a bully and abusive? This is one question I’ve always asked myself, and over the years, I’ve found the answers.

• Jealousy

• Regret

• Envy

• Character

Yes, some family members, no matter how much you’ve allowed them in your life, or have bent over backwards to help them, hate you for it. They take without giving back, and later talk about you behind your back. They walk around as if you owe them, not the case. Many may be in need and hate asking you for help, but for the most part, the minute they feel you are at a low point in your life, they are all over you with negativity and their issues. You’ve seen it time and time again, so don’t play like you haven’t, yet you ask yourself what you did wrong to spark that reaction, or behavior from that family member. You’ve done nothing; they have the problem with you, but because they need you, they use you. Bullies in the family don’t only use and abuse, they play mind games, leaving you to figure out what’s wrong with you, while they are hating on your life and the things that you may be accomplishing. That bully or abuser in your family can be anyone as stated below:

• Mother

• Father

• Brother

• Sister

• Uncle

• Aunt

• Brother-in-law

• Sister-in-law

• Cousin

• Grandparents

Yes, a bully in the family can be any of the above; your life and the things that you are doing or not doing may make you a target. Once you see what’s going on in your family, you will not allow anyone to take advantage of you ever again. If your loved ones can’t or won’t respect you the same way you respect them, move on; they are not worth holding on to. Don’t let the good times keep you in a sick relationship with anyone, including your family. A family member who’s jealous of you will go out of their way to say hurtful things which is a clear indicator that they have issues with you. Below is a list of what can be said to you by that bully in your family:

• You are fat.

• You are skinny.

• You don’t dress nice.

• You are not helping enough.

• You think you are better than everyone else.