A Life of Turmoil: The Short Stories of Ana Franken, 08150017

By Johanna Sparrow

Mother keeps me as her servant and her bitch. I’m a mistake that she desperately tries to cover up. She would probably be ecstatic if I was a whore and a liar, but since I’m neither, she despises me. In time, you’ll come to know why I’ve decided to tell the world my tumultuous story. I wouldn’t recommend reliving an abusive past, but for the last forty-plus years, I’ve been living a lie. Daily, I’m finding broken pieces of myself scattered around because of how Mother and her sons shattered the real me. Now, I must put myself back together. I’ve beat myself up for staying in their lives far too long; hoping they’d eventually welcome, accept, and love me. But instead, I’ve continued to be used and abused. I’m often left with anger, rage, and thoughts of having their heads on a platter. Too much time has been wasted. I just want the world to know the true story of Ana Franken.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Johanna Sparrow
• Release date: Oct 11, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370582587

Johanna Sparrow

Antoinette M Watkins writes under the pen name Johanna Sparrow, she has been writing for over 17 years and has published a variety of books from children's books to self-help books dealing with relationship, personal growth and conflict issues. She uses her expertise, knowledge and experience on a system she's created and used over the years dating back as far as 1995 in improving relationship issues, called the (HBCCR)© Heart Bruised Conscious Connection Renewal codes which we either have or don't have inside of us. When she is not writing self help books she writes Novels and Novella under the pen name SPARROW.In 2015 Johanna Sparrow will release for the first time her powerful and inspiring HBCCR system she's created for the rest of the world in hopes that we all can find a common goal or ground within our daily connections. She has researched and studied over the years connections between human to human and human to nature interactions in which she concluded in her research how understanding ones connections and disconnections in life is the essential step code and laws for love, happiness and tragedy, governing and guiding us in becoming life's greatest or worse creation to ever exist.

Book preview

A Life of Turmoil

The short stories of Ana Franken

08150017

JOHANNA SPARROW

Smashwords Edition

A Life of Turmoil, the short stories of Ana Franken 08150017 Copyright © 2017 Johanna Sparrow All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher: exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

Edited by: ASH THE EDITOR

www.ashtheeditor.biz

www.johannasparrow.com

DEDICATION

Thanks to my husband and kids for their love and support.

CONTENTS

Introduction

Cut to The Bone

Pretty Face, Nothing, But Lies

Yes, Mother

Attacked While Grieving

Seven Years

Life After Death

Papa’s Baby, Mama’s Maybe

Confession

Shame on You, Mother

They Said

Mother’s Perfect Daughters

Attempted Blood Sacrifice

It’s the Little Things, Mother

Don’t Talk About Your Hubby

Running Out of Time

Don’t Hit Me, Brother

You’re Not a Virgin

What Did I Do to Deserve This?

Kill Her with Silence

Mother’s Spell

I’ll Never Be Your Daughter

Not One of God’s Chosen

Look Alike

Take the Backseat

Rest in Peace, Ana Franken

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank everyone who worked with me on this book.

INTRODUCTION

God will make thine enemy your footstool, Mother told me while rubbing her aching feet. I almost agreed but wasn’t sure if I was the footstool she was talking about. I mean, our relationship hadn’t been the best. I tried to be the perfect daughter that any mother would’ve be proud of. But I fell short of my mother’s standards. Oh, Mother, Oh, Mother, why hast thou forsaken me. I’m your only biological daughter, and yet, I was treated like your servant and footstool. I’m not sure if Mother ever loved me the way she loved her sons. Her eyes would light up every time they were around. I could feel and hear the excitement in her voice as she made sure that I granted everyone’s wishes.

I’ve taken care of two homes, and it’s broken my back. I used to run and crawl on my hands at Mother’s every command with no reward. If I was one of her sons, life would’ve been much easier. She would’ve made sure to prove her love for me, but instead, I was constantly rejected. If I’d been a young, abandoned woman that was looking for love, I’m sure she would’ve held and comforted me. Those are thoughts that I’ll forever keep to myself. Just like my aching heart.

I’ve learned to bury my emotional torments. I don’t know what I’d become if I looked at them. But yesterday, certain thoughts stopped me in my tracks.

Yes mother, I’m on my way. Yes, Mother, I’ll take care of you even if you break my back or feed me cyanide mixed with that surgery, powdered stuff I like so much. You can take my life if you wish. I’ll still be there for you. I was never good enough to be your daughter. I was cursed from the day I exited your womb to never experience a mother’s love. So, I’ll wait ‘till my dying day for you to bless me as your child. Even though I’m your blood, you can continue to bury me in that faraway place where I’ll never feel your love. If you say that I must die, I just need to know what method of taking my life would please you. Oh, dear Mother, I love you ‘till my last breath.

******

Ana Franken was a mother and wife, but never a daughter. She lived in a world where abuse and neglect caused her to be permanently saddened. Striving to be noticed in a family where she was considered a ‘nobody’ and forced to do things that no one else in the family wanted to do, was heartbreaking. Even as an adult, Ana struggled to gain her mother’s love but never succeeded. Like a wounded but loyal dog, she kept going back in hopes that just once, her mother would have a desire to see her and show her love.

Loving someone in exchange for abuse and neglect is painful. Especially when that someone is your mother. But that was the life of Ana Franken.

CUT TO THE BONE

Standing in the mirror makes you look fat, Ana Franken. So, move your skinny ass out of my way.

Yes, Mother.

I was confused. How could I be fat and skinny at the same time. Which is it? Mother always had a unique way of telling me exactly what was on her mind, even if I didn’t want to hear it. Her sentiments rolled off her tongue like a scratching cat or touching hot skillet.

When I looked in the mirror, I saw bones. My body was lacking flesh and muscle. Mother had cut it all away, leaving me exposed to endure whatever she brought my way. She’d tell me that the way she treated me would make me strong someday, but I could see the lies in her eyes and her trembling smile.

Everyone in the family had flesh and muscle except me. I was afraid to ask for it back because I knew Mother would punish me for doing so. She’d tell me it was the will of God for peace and happiness to elude me and that I was destined to only experience sorrow.

When I’d close my eyes for just a minute, I swear the sound of birds