Some of the Most Poisonous People Come Disguised as Family

By Summer Reign

I applaud your courage for taking a stand against disrespect and abuse. It's not an easy thing to do because more often than not you stand alone. The yes-person and cowards are not going to support you. They are comfortable with the existing conditions or in alignment themselves with the dysfunction and your truth will rock the reality they have chosen to live in.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Summer Reign
• Release date: Aug 8, 2018
• ISBN: 9781721990641

Book preview

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to all of us who have recognized abuse inflicted as a child. There are more of us than one can imagine. Together we will reclaim our lives and live them to our fullest by not repeating the past. 

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I want to thank everyone who ever said anything positive or taught me something. I heard it all, and it meant something.

My best friends, Mary Alice, Karen and Lisa who relate to what I’ve been subjected to and overcame to become the wonderful, self-confident, independent, strong woman I am today. Each of you was there when I needed a sounding board with unconditional love.  I love each of you to the moon and back!

My name is Summer, and I refuse to be a victim of my mother’s unhealthy parenting. I wanted to write this book for the same reason you are picking it up now—I felt a tremendous amount of pain in my life and I wanted it to stop. It is said life is a terrific storyteller. I agree. I am not educated as a psychologist. I have gained counseling skills through practice and firsthand experience. I will share what I learned during years of professional counseling and my personal experiences with abuse. If you believe you’re a survivor of toxic parenting, I hope this book will provide answers. Children of a toxic parent or parents can live happy and healthy lives, but the first step to healing is recognition. I swam through the shark-infested waters of my childhood, but I am not beyond repair. 

CHAPTER ONE

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.

― Mitch Albom

I base this book on the premise that everyone wants to become whole, to fulfill their potential. That we all like seedlings or tadpoles, intend to become our full selves and will do so if they do not thwart us. People need not be forced to grow. All we need is favorable circumstances: respect, love, honesty, and the space to explore.

When I speak of parent/parents throughout this book, know abusive, toxic individuals are not only parents but can be siblings, spouses, friends, grandparents, or aunt and uncles.

Parents plant mental and emotional seeds in their children as far back as the womb.  These seeds will grow as the child grows. In many families, these are seeds of positivity, love, encouragement, respect, and independence.

In too many, these are seeds of fear, guilt, and obligation.  If you’re grown and still fear a parent or parents, you were likely raised by a toxic parent.

My first experience with my toxic mother was when I was in her womb.  An article in a 2013 Science Magazine opened my eyes. The name of the story is ‘Babies Learn to Recognize Words in the Womb’ written by Beth Skwarecki. After reading this first paragraph, I was hooked to continue discovering.  Be careful what you say around a pregnant woman. As a fetus grows inside a mother's belly, it can hear sounds from the outside world—and can understand them well enough to retain memories of them after birth, according to new research.

There is a growing body of research showing that babies in the womb sense, taste, learn, and have a level of consciousness. Researchers concluded that fetal life can learn and memorize with capacity lasting into neonatal life (post-birth).

Womb regression is therapy.  The client's guided into a relaxed internalized state with hypnotherapy techniques, guided imagery, and visualization.

The client's guided through happy/neutral memories of his/her childhood and then guided into the mother’s womb.

On the multiple cases done and clients’ feedback, it’s noted the fetus has a memory of all it absorbs and experiences while in the mother’s womb. It also absorbs the energies and emotions of the mother and what is of significance in the mother’s environment.

They create many of our beliefs before birth. Thus, one comes into the world with predestined beliefs and patterns which work as filters through life. In therapy, while going through the womb regression, the client discovers that what he/she believed as his belief and life rule does not belong to him/her but something they may have picked up or from the parent and/or the environment.

I experienced a womb regression session when I lived in Cleveland, Ohio. They guided me through various ages in my childhood before guided to the womb phase. I felt and heard reactions when my mother’s told she was pregnant. I, (the fetus) felt the pain mother experienced. She was unhappy she was pregnant again. (Months earlier she experienced a miscarriage with her third child.) They then guided me to my mother informing my father about the pregnancy. Dad’s not as disturbed as my mother. I heard dad say, ‘this will be our boy.’ They were parents to two girls. Fetus (I) am devastated. I felt grief, and I yelled from the womb, I’m not a boy. My tiny clenched fists wave when I stated, I will be the son they yearn. I'll make them love me.

They then guided me to my birth. I saw myself being born. When mother awoke from ether to the news, she had a picturesque baby girl, her reaction stunned both nurses. She wasn’t happy, Oh, another girl, she muttered.

This was my first experience being raised by a toxic parent. As a child, I was the Tomboy. I didn’t choose baby dolls to play with, but hot wheels and race cars. After the womb regression, I understood why I chose ‘boy’ over ‘girls’ toys.

My home environment growing up did not mimic The Brady Bunch. True, my parents had six children, all daughters, but I never felt loved.

I’ve had several occurrences in my life where I was the first one to speak about painful memories, let downs, deplorable behaviors, and experiences that left me feeling unprotected and afraid. I can assure you it did not make me popular to express my truth. It met me with anger and a barrage of excuses. Something