The Secret Life: A Collection of Short Stories

By Melissa V. Yaw

The Secret Life is a collection of short stories that takes you inside the lives of five individuals struggling with infidelity, mental health, body issues, or just keeping up with the Joneses. Each character desperately strives to keep their behaviours and lifestyles secret from those closest to them—and sometimes from themselves. That is, until they are confronted with situations that force them to face those issues head on.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9780993641213

Book preview

Published by: ASPIRE Books

Copyright © Melissa Veronica Yaw, 2014

All rights reserved

Canadian Cataloguing In Publication Data

ISBN: 978-0-9936412-0-6

eISBN: 9780993641213

Formats: E-Book & Trade Paperback

Publisher: ASPIRE Books

Category: Trade, General Fiction

Publication date: 2014-11-01

Author: Melissa Veronica Yaw

Book cover design: Bahia Watson

Editing contributions: Evangeline Uzoruo

Editing contributions: Maryan Gibson

Printed by: Blurb.com

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means - electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without first obtaining written permission of the copyright owner.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the internet or via any other means without permission of the publisher is illegal and susceptible to copyright laws. Please only purchase authorized electronic editions. Your support to the author’s rights is appreciated.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Introduction

STORY 1 Battling Me

STORY 2 The Meet-Up

STORY 3 The Working Poor

STORY 4 The Bulge & I

STORY 5 The Screen Test

Author Bio

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thank you to everyone

that has contributed

in any capacity

to the creation

of this book.

INTRODUCTION

The difficulties and challenges faced by me; family, friends and acquaintances and our struggles to overcome them inspired the stories in this book. To respect the anonymity of the individuals, I have chosen to merge similar stories into one.

The stories in this book are not tales of incredible adversity or overly scandalous behaviour. Rather, they are stories about personal trials and circumstances that are, for the most part, quite ordinary. The interesting commonality amongst these stories is their often secretive nature. In every instance, the individual goes to great lengths to hide what’s going on.

The idea that people live secret lives might seem unusual, but I believe it’s quite common. Chances are, someone you know, a friend or a family member, is going through a difficult period right now and you may know little, if anything, about it.

So why is it that a person may experience a problem for years, and yet no one, not even close family members are aware? In a nutshell, I believe it’s because people with serious problems fear the judgement of others. Our society, despite its relative openness and freedom, still has many stigmas: behaviours considered socially unacceptable, weak, indiscreet, or just plain wrong. And so when people believe that what they’re doing is shameful or weak, they do not want others to see them in that embarrassing light and judge them. They often lie to themselves, as well. That is why for some individuals, if they don’t admit they have a problem, then that problem doesn’t exist.

It disturbs me that we all seem to be striving to be perfect in an imperfect world, living up to ideals none of us created. It is easy to blame the media and say that is where and how the unrealistic ideals in our society were established. But I contend that we are all complicit, in that we enforce those ideals within and outside our social circles, despite having the power to determine whether those ideals can be reached or if they even matter to us. And when others don’t live up to these ideals we tend to judge them negatively.

With societal pressures to appear perfect, it’s no wonder some people choose to endure their struggles in silence, put their best face forward, and hide or deny any discretions. In other words, live a secret life. But no one should have to live a secret life, especially when others can learn from our struggles.

No one is perfect and we should stop feeling pressured to appear that way. Being honest about our imperfections will create the opportunity for others to seek us out for advice when they are facing difficult times. Additionally, it will permit for the required help by those willing to support us during our time of need.

I hope these stories will inspire, at the very least, an internal conversation within you, dear reader, one that makes you evaluate your own ideals and those to which you hold others. I hope, too, these stories will have a positive effect on how you interact with those around you, by giving you a deeper understanding of what motivates and influences some people to behave the way they do.

Although none of the stories are my own, as the author, I admit to being affected by all of them, directly or indirectly, which gives me even more reason to write about them. If you’re interested to learn about my personal experiences with each of the stories in this book, you may visit www.thesecretlife.ca to learn more.

Thank you for reading this book. I hope you find it enlightening.

"The most important of life’s battles

is the one we fight daily ...

in the silent chambers of the soul."

- David O. McKay

BATTLING ME

PART I -LIVING A LIE

It’s a lot easier to hide than you think. Most people go about their days so preoccupied with their own lives that they seldom stop to ask if you’re really okay. Sure, they don’t hesitate to exchange the customary greeting—Hi, how are you, to which you respond I’m fine, everything’s okay—with the expectation that afterwards, you’ll happily go about your day.

But what if, instead of that mundane exchange, they stopped and looked into your eyes for just a moment to notice they were glossed with tears?

What if, after you said you were fine, they asked, Really? Then why do you look so sad? And then maybe persuaded you, asking questions that convinced you they were genuinely interested in your well-being, to tell them how you were really feeling.

I’m talking about myself of course, and the day I’d just come from balling my eyes out in the restroom of the office where I worked. The person I encountered probably wasn’t interested in how I felt at all, though. Why should they take any interest in my sad story, especially if things in their life were going well? It’s difficult and timeconsuming to hear someone’s sad story and then respond to it.

I didn’t want to put anyone in that situation. Besides, there’s no room for that type of exchange at the office. In the world of business you need to be more concerned with productivity and the bottom line. Attending to the emotional needs of employees, well, that’s for HR, or maybe there’s a dedicated helpline for that noted in the employee manual somewhere. But is a depressed person really going to use that line, and if so how would the conversation go? Hello, complete stranger, sometimes I get depressed ... no, I’m not depressed at this moment but sometimes I do ... I’m just calling because someone suggested I call this helpline and you could make everything better .. .

What other options did I have other than to reassure everyone that I was okay? You see, as long as you show up to work and get the job done, nothing else matters. In your personal life, keeping few friends and living a life of mystery and solitude also does the trick.

Hiding depression is a lot easier than many people think, but the problem with hiding it is that you can’t plan when or where it’s going to hit you. Trust me, when it does hit you, it hits you hard and you’re lucky if you can pick up the pieces quickly enough to revert to your regular self without anyone noticing. The other issue is that you have no one to call when it does hit you, because everyone has already fallen for your lie that everything is just peachy keen.

Before I go any further, I should make one thing clear. I was not some weak, pity-seeking woman sitting behind a work-laden desk secretly craving attention. Not me! I was a manager of a large service firm and earning a good salary. I admit it wasn’t always easy to conceal my depression, and there was a period earlier in my career when I called in sick a lot. I also made erratic business decisions and finally lost an important job. From that moment on I knew I had to figure out a way around my issue, because I had great aspirations for myself and I was certainly not going to let depression get in my way.

As time went on, I picked up subtle tricks that helped me maintain a fairly normal and successful life by society’s standards. The guise I built for myself in