Controlling the Yo-Yo

By Nancy Kulyk

Need help controlling your emotional yo-yo?
Need a quick fix and effective long-term strategies?
Controlling the Yo-Yo, is a do-it-yourself book full of quick, simple methods that positively stimulate your body’s physiology, to combat the mental, emotional and physical challenges of living in a modern society.
When you boost your mood, you boost your immune system too! You will learn how to enjoy the process of emotional transformation and recovery, by applying the methods Nancy reliably uses every time. It doesn't matter what is bringing your yo-yo down. The rules and tools remain the same to lift your mood! Learn how you can get immediate positive results... any time!
Like a best friend would, Nancy shares how she got through life’s low moments including:
• stress
• depression
• divorce
• unemployment
• tragic death of a loved one
• being stuck in a negative mindset
• suicidal thoughts
You will discover how simple, gentle, and enjoyable each chapter is to apply into your life. Nancy uses light-hearted, non-technical language. You can heal yourself at your own pace and lift your mood any time you choose to. The same methods can be used to learn how to live a life full of peace, self-love, and enjoyment. You will become your own best friend!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nancy Kulyk
• Release date: Dec 2, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311817006

Book preview

Now You Can See the Light at the End of the Tunnel

You have the power to make yourself feel good!

Although this book is written as if it is addressed to people who are struggling with their moods, it should be equally valuable for those who know someone who is feeling low; in particular, those who are living with someone afflicted in this way.

This is a concise read so you can immediately apply what has consistently worked for me.

My personal life examples will demonstrate how to overcome emotional lows, and I’ll show you how to turn to yourself for answers and to trust that you do have them.

We all know what it feels like to be down. Whether you are feeling a bit low, lonely, ‘winter bluesy’ or depressed over the way your life is, Controlling the Yo-Yo will help you learn how to be your own best friend and lift your mood any time. I am not a doctor but I am a real person with real experiences, offering real help. This book is the empathy you are looking for if you are struggling to feel good about yourself and life, or if you are living with someone who is bringing you down. If you have a clinically diagnosed mental health condition, I cannot guarantee the positive results that I have experienced. Yet, I truly believe people with mental health conditions can benefit from everything shared here.

Are you suffering unnecessarily?

It’s easy to be stuck feeling down, struggling to get through each day. So, are you suffering unnecessarily? Most of us were never taught how to handle our own negative thoughts and feelings; certainly this was not part of our education in school. No wonder it can be challenging to keep your chin up and pull yourself together. Anyone can benefit from learning how to lift themselves emotionally, even if they would not describe themselves as out-and-out depressed.

My methods and hard won wisdom helped me out of depression, so it’s no surprise that they also fortify me against those common lows of life that hit everyone from time to time. I’m talking about those lows of anger, frustration, and stress that come from parenting, relationships, responsibilities and work. (Note: The methods are activity experiences and not prescribed step-by-step processes. They are simple and easy.) Over the years, I’ve come to realise that it doesn’t matter what the life situation is. The rules and tools remain the same, to move through and beyond any situation. All you have to do is read them here, apply them and practise.

Feeling down – Friend or foe?

I did some research on the subject of depression. According to the Overcome Depression website, approximately half of those with typical mental health conditions such as depression will continue to be affected after 18 months. Even when my yo-yo hit rock bottom, as you will find out in Chapter 6, I managed to heal by lifting my mood within three months, using the following methods. I was able to avoid anti-depressants, lift my emotional yo-yo naturally, gain self-knowledge and self-awareness, and move forward with my life!

I see depression, in particular, as the foot putting on the brakes in the momentum of our lives, to the point that it feels like being stuck in the mud. Depression comes from our body’s intelligence demanding change because the way we are thinking, perceiving, and living is not working. Seen this way, depression is helpful! Our challenge is to get ourselves unstuck and moving forwards again on a safer, healthier, happier path. This is the key purpose of this book.

Being ‘stuck in the mud’ could also be applied to anyone who is not depressed but lacks passion, enthusiasm, and joy – a sneaky forewarning of depression. Depression begins with our perception of a situation. This then triggers our emotions. Our bodies tend to respond by turning these emotions into physical signs, such as drastic changes of appetite or sleep disorders. Instead of trying to treat those symptoms directly, we need to get to the root causes.

You can be your own doctor

To judge by what I’ve learnt from people and health articles, medical treatment can be a slow, drawn-out process, taking, on average, three months to figure out which brand of anti-depressants and what dosage works for the individual. As I’ve mentioned, I ended my own depression within three months without using anti-depressants. I will share with you how I did it. You can then try for yourself.

The most common anti-depressants affect serotonin, one of the neurotransmitters involved in regulating mood. However, other neurotransmitters also affect our mood: endorphins, norepinephrine, and dopamine. The good news is that the chemicals involved in mood can be manipulated through exercise and practices such as those described in these pages. For example, nature’s miracle drug: endorphins. They are absolutely free and reside inside me… and you! How convenient is that? Whenever I release my endorphins, I notice my yo-yo lifts to feeling better. You can take charge of how you feel instead of letting depression and other negative feelings, be in charge of you. (It’s beyond the scope of this book to give a physiological explanation. I’ll leave this to the scientists. You can easily find this information on the Internet and in the library.)

The convenient solution

You need to lift your emotional yo-yo before you can change your outer world circumstances. Are you open to exploring new ways to handle your thoughts and emotions? If you’re like me, wanting simple methods to easily transform yourself from feeling down to feeling better at any moment, then you are reading the right book. It requires replacing the old habits that haven’t served you well with new ones that will. Instead of finding ways to distract yourself from depression, sadness, anger, hopelessness, guilt, and stress by watching TV, trying to keep busy, or by using hard drugs, alcohol, or anti-depressants, you have chosen to read this book. Well done, you!

The bonus

The bonus is, the methods in this book will not only demonstrate how easy it is to feel better, but they will help you to access your intuition, or inner guidance. Everyone has intuition. We are all born with it including you, whether you are aware of it or not. Again, most of us were not taught to trust our gut instincts; certainly this wasn’t part of our education in school as well. You just need a friendly reminder that your intuition will guide you to make the best choices for you, leading towards good health and happiness. My intuition was my doctor. It was the best friend I’ve always wanted and can count on to this day. This best friend and doctor is ready to serve you now.

Life is too short to be miserable. So, let’s begin with the basics. Take my hand and walk with me into the next chapter.

CHAPTER 1:

The Basics: Rest or Activity?

If you’ve had enough of being stressed or feeling down, you need to grab the bull by the horns and empower yourself. This needn’t be difficult. Do you need to learn how to rest or to insert more physical activity into your daily routine?

Depression itself can be associated with too much activity of the wrong kind, such as exhausting physical labour, or too little activity. Depression can also be associated with sleep deprivation or, paradoxically, it can be associated with spending a lot of time in bed. Which applies to you?

Here are some examples of erroneous habits:

•Spending hours on the computer or watching TV/movies (Although it’s an activity, it’s not physical activity, it can disrupt sleep, and is not beneficial for mental and physical health.)

•Sleep deprivation associated with obesity [Tired people eat more to keep their energy up but tend to choose high calorie foods and high glycaemic index foods, which I’ll explain later in the book; in addition, being overweight itself interferes with sleep because it can make breathing difficult (sleep apnoea) and increase the risk of heartburn.]

•Not taking proper breaks during the day.

•Not eating healthy snacks during the day to sustain energy in order to avoid gorging at dinner time.

•Not taking a nap when your body craves one. (An afternoon nap has been shown to help keep blood pressure down.)

In developed societies, many of us do not eat properly, do not get enough physical activity, and fail to give our brains sufficient rest in the form of sleep.

Ways to increase the quality of rest

The health industry seems to neglect this topic. It focuses mainly on nutrition and exercise. Getting enough quality sleep is fundamental to your health and well-being. I learnt this the hard way years ago, when I was ill with mono, strep throat and Hepatitis all at once. Since then, I’ve noticed that sleep and naps are effortless yo-yo lifters and at no cost.

Here’s what I do to help myself sleep

When I come home from work late at night, feeling depleted of energy and feeling down about work (mentally active, physically depleted, emotionally down), I:

•take care of my body by hydrating it with water, a superfood green drink, a cup of camomile tea, or a glass of diluted juice (not from concentrate);

•eat something simple like an egg on a piece of toast, a homemade muffin, or a bowl of cereal;

•shower to get that soothing, clean feeling;

•listen to nurturing music while doing stretches.

When my mind is chattering away, making it hard to get to sleep, I:

•become the observer of my thoughts to separate myself from them;

•acknowledge that it’s dark and late and I can’t do anything because businesses

are closed – I accept that I am forced to do nothing but sleep. I have to surrender, which feels good;

•focus on how good it feels to be in bed, feeling safe and secure like being cocooned in a warm, cosy embrace.

My created bedtime ritual:

I’m not necessarily suggesting that you do these exact things. You can experiment to find things that work with what you believe and what you are comfortable doing.

•First, I do an aboriginal ‘smudging’ by candlelight, while listening to aboriginal music. (Smudging is the burning of a dried bundle of sage leaves and the scooping of the smoke with your hands to wash it over your head, closed eyes, closed mouth, ears, and then heart. This symbolises the washing away of any negativity you’ve collected in those areas: what you’ve thought of, what you’ve seen, what you’ve said, what you’ve heard, and what you’ve felt.)

•Then I ‘cleanse’ my bedroom or entire home, waving a feather to disperse the smoke. It smells wonderful.

•Next, I burn a bundle of braided sweetgrass. The idea is to add the positive into your home. I love the smell of this one.

•Then, I do Qigong movements to the music. Qigong is a Chinese method of doing movements with breath.

• I finish with stretches. I relax into them, focusing on the music. This enables me to quieten my mind. Positive thoughts and feelings of peace and comfort readily come to me, making me feel ready to let go of the day and have a good sleep.

Ways to get more activity

Your mood will tend to improve when you are doing a physical activity, whether it’s cleaning, walking, exercising, dancing, or physical labour. If you have been inactive for a long time, you need to move your body! Depending on how much you are moving your body, you will experience anything from a gentle boost to an invigorating lift.

There are many constructive, easy things to do every day, to help you clear away negativity whenever your mind and heart drop like a yo-yo. They can help you feel better, heal and connect with your intuition, to guide your next step.

Here are a few examples of gentle activities you can do each day:

•Dancing to ‘the right kind of music’. (Chapters 10 and 11)

•Qigong movements. (Chapter 11)

•Stretching to music. (Chapter 11)

•Go out for a walk in nature. (Chapter 5)

•Create your own space – clean, reorganise, rearrange, de-clutter. (Chapter 16)

•Take photographs in nature. (Chapter 5)

•Learn to meditate. (Chapter 5)

•Consciously preparing and eating enough healthy food. (Chapter 12)

•Interacting with my cat. (Chapter 13)

•Doing something creative for art’s sake or something useful. (Chapter 16)

•Taking a shower to cleanse the mind, body, and soul. (Chapter 14)

If you are unemployed, I know how much that can be a downer, but the advantage is that you can easily find