Do you think you aren’t good at negotiating? Do you worry about offending people or disappointing them?  Do you want to learn some mindset strategies for effective negotiating?   Listen to learn why doctors and women often struggle to negotiate.  Learn the basics of effective negotiating. Leave with mindfulness and coaching tools to help you negotiate better.   Why is negotiating is hard for many women doctors? We dislike conflict. We intentionally chose a giving, caring profession instead of a competitive conflict-driven profession in part to avoid conflict We interpret discomfort as danger We dislike uncertainty We believe our role is to serve and self-sacrifice and we are often afraid to ask for what we want or need We are consistently told that we should be grateful to work in medicine and that we do not deserve to get paid for all the work we perform  We tend to undervalue ourselves because we have been and continue to be undervalued in our professional lives We have an “urgency bias”-- we believe all problems must be solved immediately  Our sense of right and wrong is very black and white and we often have difficulty finding common ground to compromise We are afraid to walk away during a negotiation because of our: Catastrophizing Negativity bias Scarcity mindset   Mark’s Tips for Successful Negotiating (*not legal advice) The two most important rules are to know your “bottom line” and be willing to walk away. Other tips: Do your research. Know as much as you can about who you are negotiating with before you start Decide what is important to you before you start Be realistic about your situation and never negotiate without options. If you are a physician who struggles to get your charts finished on time, you are unlikely to convince someone that you deserve a raise. If you have zero “leverage,” your negotiations are unlikely to succeed. Know your bottom line. You must know the what you are willing to accept before you start negotiating.  Ask for what you want. You will rarely get what you want without asking. Be assertive, but not aggressive. Recognize where you can compromise. Negotiations are more successful if you also find ways for the other side to “win.” Negotiations are often asymmetrical. For example, you may want a higher salary while your boss needs you to cover different shifts. Focus on the pressures the other side is facing. Tell them how your proposal will solve their issue. Be patient. You don’t need to resolve every issue in a single email, phone call, or meeting. Time is often helpful. Play the long game. Leave yourself options. Don't share your bottom line or issue a “take it or leave it” demand unless you absolutely, 100% mean it forever. If you undermine your own bottom line you will lose all credibility and the negotiation. Be willing to walk away. This is the secret to successful negotiating. You will be shocked at how effective walking away can be. (But see number 10 below.)  Leave the door open to further negotiations. Do not get angry and refuse future negotiations. You may eventually get what you want. Allow yourself to be happy when you get what you ask for. Too many people fall into the trap of thinking they should have asked for more when they “win” a negotiation. This kind of thinking leads to the unsolvable conundrum that you “will only accept what the other side is unwilling to give” and you will never negotiate successfully. Jessie’s Mindful Coaching Tips for Successful Negotiations Know your worth. Do not overvalue or undervalue yourself or your position. Trust yourself. It is ok to want what you want. What is important to you may be different than what is important to someone else. Tell stories that serve you. Instead of thinking that you are lucky to get the job, realize that they are lucky to have you accept the job. Know your habits. Recognize and avoid catastrophizing, scarcity, and black and white thinking. Be happy when