This episode is coming out on Thanksgiving Day, and the holiday season is officially here. But sometimes, as humans, we’re in pain even when we are doing celebratory things. Today, my friend and grief coach, Leslie Gelfand, is here to talk about navigating grief as a parent, especially around the holidays.As a grief recovery specialist, Leslie helps her clients navigate through many different kinds of grief and become complete with the pain associated with the loss. I’m so grateful to Leslie for all that she’s taught me and helped me to work through in my own life, and I am so glad she is here to share her expertise with you, as well. What Is Grief?Leslie explains grief as “the normal and natural reaction to a loss” that is caused by an end or change in a familiar pattern or behavior. It is the end of how things were.We can feel grief over a loved one dying, losing a relationship, pet or job. In fact, Leslie shares that there are over 40 different kinds of loss that people can experience that cause grief. Of course, grief shows up differently for different people and situations, including the type of relationship you had with someone you’ve lost. And we often have conflicting feelings. For example, a combination of sadness, relief and guilt.  Anticipatory GriefAnticipatory grief comes up when you know that a big loss is coming. I know that a lot of you are in a stage of life where you have children in your home, and you’re also caregiving for aging, ill or dying parents. I call this the “Panini Place” because it isn’t just a sandwich. It’s hot, you’re feeling pressed and there’s a lot of pressure. This is also a time when you’re likely experiencing anticipatory grief. It’s almost as if we’re pre-grieving. We’re anticipating that the loss and pain is coming. In some ways, this anticipation brings the pain to us early. But it can also aid us in helping to prepare for the loss. It can make the pain a little easier to digest by spreading it out over time. It can also help us to be more present, because we’re aware that each time we see that person it may be the last time. And anticipatory grief gives you a little bit of a preview of how you're going to manage this loss and how you're going to come through it.  Navigating Grief as a ParentAs parents, there are two main concerns that come up with grief: How can I take care of myself and mourn while still caring for my kids? And how do I talk to my kids about what is going on?Many kids’ first experience of death is with a pet, but with any loss at a young age, it feels really, really intense. When my kids were young and experienced the death of a pet, they really followed my emotional lead. They took a cue from me, how I was responding and the emotions I was showing. Our kids don’t have the capacity to take care of us, and they’re looking to us to see if they’re going to be okay. This means that we want to process some of that emotion before bringing it to our kids so that they understand the feelings without it being overwhelming.Kids start to understand the concept of death around age 5. When talking to kids about loss and grief, Leslie says that the details of diagnosis, treatment, etc. don’t really matter. She recommends that for kids up to age 12, explaining death as “the person’s body stopped working,” is a simple explanation they can process. Older kids will ask more questions. They might want to know how or why their body stopped working. She also explains that it’s important to use the terms “death” or “died” rather than more abstract phrasing like “passed away” or “moved on”. We want to use language that is clear and that kids can understand, not nuanced terms that might be confusing. Many of us were taught by our parents to not show emotion. Stay busy,...