Layered Unlacing

By Evee Douglas

This book is a collection of poems that express a piece of my personal journey through mental illness and transitioning from abusive relationships into healthy relationships. From confusion to clarity, these poems detail as much of the emotion and thought process that I could document over an approximate four-year period of my life. I greatly hope that this book positively impacts anyone who chooses to read it, and I thank all who do.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Evee Douglas
• Release date: Apr 22, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224365340

Book preview

Layered Unlacing

Written and Edited by Evee Douglas

Edited by Alex Jolley

Dedicated To:

Everyone who appreciates it.

Thank you to my other half, Alex Jolley, who has been my motivation, my muse, and my right hand in producing this book.

Thank you to Lauren, Elaine, Jack, Rehanna, Aundra, Elijah, Emma, Remy, John, Tianah, and Odin for inspiring me in the process.

Thank you to everyone I have not named that helped to inspire these poems.

And thank you to myself for actually finishing it.

Indecision:

Like eating chalk.

Up front interaction.

Turn right: Reaction.

Turn left: Distraction.

Head’s spinning,

Inaction gaining traction,

Having battled disillusion from the beginning,

And wondered if there was ever any winning,

Grappling for even a fraction of that satisfaction we’re all still searching for...

Only found when one shifts focus to the present instead of the more.

Hate the sound of my own voice,

But I still talk too much.

I still have conversations with my reflection,

Like a self love crutch.

Armies of diamond tears,

Scarlet tinted atmosphere,

Platoons of skin and bone,

Mercenaries on our thrones.

Hear the rattling attack of the skeletons, who fight only to bring more war, a further undoing of the seemingly already undone.

Today these socks don't match,

They are wildly different,

The colors clash,

The patterns too,

They are not opposites that go together like black and white,

They are a kind of opposite that would thrash and scream if forced into the same space.

But you would never know,

Because all showing clothing compliments itself perfectly,

Each article and accessory are meant to be,

Not a single aspect of the visible outfit is amiss.

Their face is composed,

Never would you be able to tell that there is an emotional wreck behind it.

These socks don't match, but no one will ever be the wiser unless they undress us.

It rained that day,

And his hands were surprisingly soft and gentle,

Though they are scarred and strong,

And his skin was flushed and salty,

I had never looked so deeply into his eyes,

And I found that they were like amber,

Beautiful crystallized pools of hidden emotion,

And I wondered if he knew how he felt to me,

Or if he could tell who I was back then.

Fate makes us grateful in its own time.

I do not take the morning lightly,

But I do take it softly,

Like the taste of blood in my coffee,

Salt dripping off me.

There are some days that we might say

The night deserves our company,

And some that have different energy,

Some that put us to bed early.

Natural medicine,

Deep tissue massages,

Cream cheese and bagels,

London broil beef,

The passing of seasons,

Sun,

Snow,

Sun,

And yet only for a small period of life did we sit in those chairs side by side.

A new phase seized us both,

And then another,

Each intertwined,

Some close, some distant,

So on and so forth.

Simply a gift to spend time with her each time we do.

My decisions were too gullible,

Too trusting of people I hardly knew.

––––––––

Each one enticing

And detrimental

In their own ways. 

They all permeated need,

And they all masked it in something else:

Anger,

Pride,

Self pity...

––––––––

My mouth can't keep up with my mind,

Recklessly chasing an infinity ride,

I pick up plenty of bruises...