Give the gift of your time wisely

By Regula Meile

Embarking on the mindful journey of investing time in what truly fulfils you is an art in itself. 
This unconventional approach to time management entails recognizing your authentic desires and strategically allocating your time accordingly.
Bestow the precious gift of your time with discernment, ensuring it aligns with your deepest aspirations. 
Have you ever found yourself grappling with the perpetual sense of insufficient time for activities that hold genuine importance for you? Does the relentless pace of life leave you with a yearning for a more self-determined existence, liberated from the expectations imposed by society, your social sphere, and even the standards you set for yourself?
This book serves as a guide to pressing the "stop" button, prompting you to scrutinize ingrained habits, adopt a fresh perspective, and undertake the necessary transformations. It aims to spare you the poignant retrospection of a life marked solely by unrealized dreams, neglected projects, and strained relationships.
The author skilfully illustrates, with vivid narratives and thought-provoking exercises, innovative ways to invest your time and attention in meaningful relationships and significant projects. Are you prepared to embrace this transformative journey?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Franzius Verlag GmbH, Bad Zwischenahn
• Release date: Feb 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9781667469737

Book preview

1. Introduction

This book isn't focused on mastering self-discipline to juggle multiple goals simultaneously. Because, let's be frank, in our Western society, self-discipline isn't the primary hurdle for most of us. The issue lies more in setting an excess of goals and succumbing to the pressure of accomplishing them all at once, so that we overlook the gifts of the present moment. So that we forget what we are actually doing all this self-optimization for. Instead, this book aims to help you shift down a gear. Our time is the most precious asset we possess. It's a gift we've received and we should make the most of it by paying it forward! Through countless small gifts to ourselves and to our fellow human beings! To do this, we need to be mindful of this precious resource. We must learn to prioritize what truly matters in our lives, instead of fixating on trivial matters and allowing them to overshadow our existence. In a time when information overload is almost infinite and our idols and role models suggest that one can juggle everything and lead a perfect life, it is often difficult not to fall into a constant feeling of chronic lack of time. We want it all right now! After all, the motivational coaches have shown us that we should not be content with settling for less! We want to be successful and design our lives according to our own ideas. This requires motivation, commitment, and investment!

This may well be true, but it leads many of us down a path of perpetual restlessness and wanting more. We are constantly busy trying to tackle ten or twenty goals at once, and it's no surprise that it leaves us feeling stressed out. Enough of that! Are you ready to break new ground? Are you ready for a change in perspective? You don't even have to turn your whole life upside down for this. Unless, of course, you want to or if it naturally evolves over time. Mainly, this book is about looking at things in a new way! That doesn't mean you can just sit back and read this book expecting everything to take care of itself. Change requires commitment and sticking with it in everyday life. For this very reason, this book offers many suggestions for practical application. There are exercises that you can integrate into your daily life. Again and again, I will ask you to write things down. For this, I invite you to get a Time Gift Booklet or a Time Gift Book with blank pages. Choose a beautiful book or even design the cover yourself with your favourite colours and designs! In addition to the exercises, you can also record your thoughts, inspirations and insights that relate to the topics we are tackling together. And perhaps you'd like to use it for things that go beyond all of that. For thoughts on how you align yourself in life, what moves and inspires you, or to capture your visions and positive affirmations! Writing things down helps the brain gain clarity. If we put something in writing, it automatically takes on more weight, we are more likely to remember it, and we have taken a first step towards taking action just by picking up a pen. Unlike a diary, in a book like this we deal with our future and start to pave the way in our chosen direction.

In addition to the writing tasks and the exercises that you can use in everyday life, this book also contains numerous mini-meditations. These are imaginative exercises that help you to be fully in the moment and focus on what is important. The mini-meditations will also help you to sharpen your senses and in these quiet moments, when we turn our attention inwards, we acquire skills that we can then apply to our lives. Furthermore, they bring you back to yourself, allowing you to take a step back and see the bigger picture, instead of just concentrating on tasks that appear urgent and immediate. The mini-meditations should last about five minutes each and can be incorporated anywhere into your everyday life whenever you have some free time and a reasonably quiet place. In an emergency even the toilet at work will do.

But wait! Doesn't that sound like even more things to do and therefore even more stress? Writing in a book, doing exercises every day, mini-meditations, what else? And when are you supposed to find the time for all this? This brings us back to the problem that probably made you pick up this book in the first place! Of course, this book is NOT telling you you should do this every day you won't achieve anything if you don't practice diligently and you have to keep at it. Naturally the best results are achieved by people who consistently put what they have learned into practice, but exactly how you do this is up to you. Just let yourself be guided by the pleasure principle! Perhaps the exercises described are just inspirations for you, and you derive your own from them. Or you do some of them very rarely, but when you do, you do so with complete joy and dedication. Or you initially store the information in your brain, which sharpens your perception in your daily life, you begin to adjust your thinking, and suddenly, sometime after reading the book, the desire to apply one or the other exercise arises. Everything is okay. Right now, give yourself the freedom not to have to do anything! Even if you are occasionally asked to do something, this is where the implementation begins! Don't make a to-do list out of it! Do the exercises if you feel you would like to do them. If, on the other hand, you think that an exercise would make sense, but doing it does not appeal to you right now, then this is probably not the right time for it. If that’s the case just let it go and see if the exercise comes back to you at a later date and see if you want to put it into practice then. How you implement the exercises from this book is the first step towards integrating the concepts into your life. However, having said that, in the following chapters, this book will not suggest that you should only do the exercises if you feel like it. No, you will be asked to do them now. This is deliberately worded in this way so that you can start to implement what you have learned into your daily life. People in your life often attempt to dictate what you should be doing at any given moment. Their suggestions may seem sensible or even appealing to you, and undoubtedly, there's a part of you that feels inclined to follow their advice. However, sincerely ask yourself, fully embracing any potential outcomes, whether what they're urging you to do aligns with what you truly want for yourself or for them in that particular moment.

In addition to being mindful of who or what you want to give your time to, the focus of this book is also on consciously savouring the act of giving. No matter what you decide to do in the moment – this could just be doing the dishes – you can do it with dedication. When you fully immerse yourself in an experience, there is no time lost. It is always a question of evaluating the activity and not a question of the activity itself. The aim is to infuse more vibrancy, emotion, and intensity into your daily life, savouring each moment, be it the perfect one or something less enjoyable. There should be a pause, a break from the restlessness, the constant searching and striving for more. This approach allows us to recognize the gifts that our surroundings offer us as well as the gifts that we possess within ourselves.

The book is divided into three parts. In the first part, we shed light on the problem, dealing with why we constantly have the feeling that we don't have enough time. In the second part, the solution of giving the gift of time is presented. In the third section, you will find practical tips and motivations provided for both putting ideas into action and navigating through potential obstacles. To begin applying the insights as you read, the initial section of the book offers hints and tasks for putting what you've learned into practice. If difficulties arise during this process, there's always the option to skip ahead to a chapter in the third part of the book that addresses the specific challenge.

2. Identify the problem

A Morning in the Life of Luisa

As is so often the case, Luisa wakes up a little before the alarm clock rings. Still half dreaming, her thoughts jump straight to the presentation she has to give in the afternoon. Has she really thought of everything that needs to be discussed? But wait, she had in fact intended to kickstart her day by visualizing her goals and setting the stage for her success. So, don't start thinking about what needs improving, but imagine how you will sweep the audience away and how everyone will hang on your every word. However, you should add a comment to that one graphic in the presentation. That could make all the difference in making the topic easier to understand. Yes, that's a good idea! Should she get up to make a note of this? So that she doesn’t forget! But no, actually she wanted to be well-rested and if she got up now, then she certainly wouldn't be able to fall asleep again. Moreover, she has set herself the goal of sleeping eight hours every night. Now she can’t do that because she went to bed twenty minutes too late last night. So, she should go back to sleep for at least a few more minutes. Just so that her performance doesn’t suffer due to sleep deprivation! Especially today, when the presentation is due. So, close your eyes and relax. She should lie her head down. All these circling thoughts keep her from falling asleep. That's when it occurs to her that she should have her trainers ready. Otherwise, she will end up leaving them at home. She has decided to use the way home as time for some exercise. If she doesn’t, she will just waste time sitting on the bus. This is her new initiative to keep fit, because the scales are showing two kilos more than half a year ago and the extra padding on her stomach and thighs definitely has to go. And she knows herself all too well, if she's not consistent, then that's it with the good intentions. If she forgets her shoes one day it will serve as an excuse not to train the following day. So, should she get up just for a moment and get her shoes ready? Yes, that might be best, she can still lie down again afterwards. Luisa gets up, takes her trainers out of the cupboard and puts them in the entrance hall of the apartment. Inevitably, her gaze lingers on the dwarf palm and she looks at its leaves up close to see if the insects she discovered there recently are actually all gone - after using the biological pesticide. She had just purchased the palm tree as part of her project to greenify the apartment. But she had made extra work for herself. Perhaps she should resort to chemical weapons, as a one-time thing, although she had decided to keep toxins out of her home - after watching a documentary about how harmful they can be. But there are still several of these little creatures crawling around on the plant! She has to take care of them immediately, otherwise, they will continue to multiply! Luisa crushes the little animals with her fingers. But what if they have already spread to other plants? She goes into the living room and begins to examine the plants there. How do these little beasts multiply? Could eggs that you can't see with the naked eye stick to the plants? Beep... beep ... beep ... The ringing of the alarm clock takes her out of her thoughts for just a moment.

Is it enough for you? Do you find yourself getting irritated as you read this? You can skip the rest of this chapter if you don't feel like delving further into Luisa's world. However, if you want to stick with it – which I recommend you do – then pay attention to what it triggers in you as you read. Do you sense a touch of frustration building up? Or get a knot in your stomach? Does your heart rate go up? Do you get cravings for sweets? What happens as you read this is probably a lot like what usually happens in your day-to-day life. But we often don't pay much attention to this because we're too busy focusing on other things. The better we get at picking up on these signals and tuning in to them consciously, the more likely we are to recognise them as signs that it's a good time to make a change in our thoughts, feelings, and actions! So, here Luisa's morning continues:

Oh no, the alarm clock has gone off already. So Luisa didn't sleep enough after all. She just never manages it! Today, she absolutely has to go to bed earlier. The best thing to do is to put an alarm on her mobile phone that reminds her it's time to go to bed! Luisa goes to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. While the coffee machine is flashing red, she quickly does the strengthening exercise she saw on the internet yesterday. This is supposed to help you get toned buttocks. What was that again, at what angle should the knees be? Oh dear, I’ll have to take another quick look. She pulls out her tablet and searches for the video. Ah, there it is. An advert advertises vegan and sugar-free organic raw food bars. How cool! Luisa clicks on the link to the homepage. But actually, she doesn't have time to look at it now. She can leave the website open and take a closer look at it later. Now, she wanted to watch yesterday's video again. But in the meantime the coffee is ready and Luisa doesn't have all the time in the world until she has to leave the house. So, quickly make a coffee and then take out the fat- and sugar-free breakfast porridge, that was prepared last night, from the fridge. Wash an apple, cut it and spread the pieces over the porridge, and breakfast is ready. It's not enjoyable though. She used to prepare these breakfast bowls with peanut butter, bananas and cocoa crunchy flakes, which was really delicious. But the fat-free start to the day is good for her. Recently, she saw a video claiming that this increases both physical and mental performance because the body is less burdened with fat digestion. And she will eat enough delicious things for the rest of the day anyway. Luisa's gaze falls on her mobile phone. Sixteen new messages. She can look through them briefly while she is standing in the kitchen eating her breakfast. Oh, one of the messages is from a friend who is currently in a relationship crisis. She can't just leave this unanswered, the friend would definitely be disappointed if she knew that Luisa had read the message but is so focused on her own life that she can't even take a few minutes to express her sympathy. She writes a few lines and sends them off. Oh no, she can't ignore the messages from the colleagues she's scheduled to have lunch with either. The restaurant they have chosen doesn’t have any available tables and they are looking for alternatives. No one is particularly happy with the other options proposed so far. Oh yes, she'd recently heard about a new restaurant that she’s sure everyone would like. How stupid that she’s forgotten the name of it. Wasn't it the colleague in the yoga class who had mentioned that? She could write to her quickly and ask her. A glance at the clock shows that this has to be done fast. She writes a short message to her colleague and then rushes to the bathroom. Quickly take a shower, shave your legs, and wash your hair. Ouch, of course, that always happens when she is in a hurry, she cuts her skin while shaving her legs. You are so clumsy, she curses softly to herself. But she doesn't have time to think about why this constantly happens to her. While shampooing her hair she goes through her presentation once again in her mind. Will the boss from the other team be there? The last time he had asked such stupid questions about financing and she couldn't give him a satisfactory answer. This is not part of their main area. Maybe she should come up with a clever answer just in case he brings up the subject again. Looking at the shampoo bottle, Luisa remembers that she had recently read an article about which ingredients in shampoos are bad for the skin. For ages now, she had been meaning to see if her shampoo contained these substances. Tonight she's finally going to do that! As a reminder, she puts the bottle in the sink. When she finds it there later it will remind her. So, dry yourself quickly and get dressed. Should she wear the dark blue trousers? She almost gave them to the second-hand clothes collection because she hadn't worn them for ages. But then she sort of liked them again. She doesn't really feel like wearing them, but she has promised herself that she will actually wear trousers that she decides to keep This was a recommendation in a tidying-up podcast, to only have things at home that you really use. But, when she looks at the wardrobe, she is still at the very start of this process. Oh dear, a sense of stress and overwhelm hits her just thinking about going through all these clothes, deciding which ones are just for show and then letting go of them. This is going to take so much time...! But, today, right now, she should feel really comfortable. So is it probably going to be her favourite trousers after all? It's just a shame that the blouse, which goes so well with the trousers, is already in the laundry basket. Luisa tries out various other blouses. She's not really happy with any of them. But she has to make a decision, time is running out. All right, the white striped blouse and my favourite trousers. Now quickly blow dry your hair. Meanwhile, she can think about what to give her sister for her birthday. It’s is in three days and she still doesn't have a present and there is so much on the agenda over the next few days that she hardly has time to organize it. Her sister gave her such a great gift for her birthday, so now she has to come up with something original! Preferably something with a unicorn print, her sister would be happy with that. But yesterday's Google search on the subject didn't turn up anything convincing. Have something printed yourself? It's probably too late for that. Of course, it would be great to design something herself, but she just doesn't have the time. Or maybe she could postpone tomorrow's meet-up with her boyfriend? He would be disappointed, but he would also understand. But she would need a brilliant idea of what exactly she would like to get with a unicorn design. A flower pot? She might as well give a plant as a gift. But her sister always complains that plants never survive with her. Meanwhile, her hair is dry and Luisa enters the search term original gift idea into Google. Maybe she'll be inspired by an idea someone else has had. She ends up in an online shop. On the front page, an advertisement for personalized chocolate appears. There is even a discount for an order of two. That would be a great farewell gift for the colleague who is leaving the company. Luisa clicks on the banner, there is an uneasy feeling in the back of her mind because she suspects that she is late again. So, write a quick post-it note and hang it in the entrance hall, she will look at the web page again this evening. Oh dear, she really has to leave the house now and she still has no make-up on! Quickly pack your make-up things, put on your jacket, get out of the apartment and run down the stairs in the hope of catching the bus. Applying makeup on public transport is quite tedious and awkward, but this is not the first time and it will soon become routine.

You can certainly picture how Luisa's day will unfold! Can you sense the inner tension just by hearing about her morning? Does this situation resonate with you a bit as you read? Many people feel like this